Childhood

15

6 years later

TONI POV:

It's the kids first day of 4th grade. Are they at separate schools? Yes. Is it confusing as hell? Yes! Cheryl and I are going through a rough time right now which hurts to admit. She started drinking about a year ago again. She's been in rehab for a month now. Everything she's been through has finally hit her all at once and she didn't deal with it well. She's not getting any better. "When is mama getting home?" Jason ask quietly. I shrug. "I don't know bud." I whisper putting down my coffee. "Get ready for school." I instruct him. He nods and goes upstairs. "I'll be up there in a few to help you!" I yell. Sarah walks downstairs. "Do I have to go back?" I look out the window. "Yeah like right now, your bus is here!" I grab her bag and throw her out the door. Not actually that's to violent and I don't feel like actually doing the actions of throwing her out of the house. "Have a great day. Don't die!" I yell as she run to the bus. "Ok!" I smile and go back inside. I go back upstairs. "You got it?" I ask Jason. "Yeah I need help with my tie though!" I smile. "Right now?" I ask through the door. He opens the door. "Y-yeah." I fix his tie. "Why do Sarah and I go to different schools?" He ask looking down. "Eye contact." He looks up at me. "Well you learn differently than her and you in a regular school wasn't working for you." I tell him. "Come on lets get you to school." I whisper. "No!" He sits on the floor. "Jason!" He stands up. "Sorry." He goes to the car. I take a deep breath. I go downstairs and get Jason to school. We pull up, I look into the mirror and I see Jason getting anxious. "What's wrong?" I ask quietly. "I want mom to be here too." I take a deep breath. "I know, we both do." I hold back tears.

"Toni." Cheryl sits down in front of we. I don't look at her. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" I ask quietly. "Jason doesn't stop talking about you! He misses you! We all do. Cheryl. I can't raise these kids on my own!" I tell her frustrated. "Cheryl you and I need to be there for them! We're all they have!" I hold back tears. "Toni, you know what I've been through." She whispers. "Drinking is not the way to get over it!" I take a deep breath. "Cheryl if you don't get better I don't think we should be together. I'm sorry but I can't always be there to pick up the pieces when everything falls apart." I get up and walk out not wanting to talk anymore. "Toni!" I look back. "Cheryl, I'm serious." I get into my truck and ball my eyes out for about 20 minutes until my phone starts blowing up. I look at it and there's 5 text from Jason telling me I need to pick him up. I drive off and pick him up. "Hey buddy." I whisper as he gets in. "How was school?" I ask quietly. He doesn't say anything. "You ok bud?" He shakes his head. "Do you want to talk about it?" He shakes his head, I can tell he's holding back something, like more than he's already more than he's not saying. "Will you want to talk about it?" He looks down. We go and pick Sarah up. I ask her about her day she does the stereotypical teenager thing. I go up until the office and the kids go do stuff. Sarah walks into my office. "Mom." I look at her. "What's up?" I ask. "Do you think it's possible to see my parents?" She ask quietly. "Sar, I don't know." I whisper. "I would have to figure out where they are buried." She hands me a paper. "I did some research." I nod. "Ok. I will figure out a time to go." I get up and pull her into a hug. "How are you doing?" I ask quietly. "Speaking of your parents." I whisper. "What do you mean?" She ask quietly. "Do you think therapy would be a good idea to go back to?" I ask rubbing her cheek. She shrugs.

"How are you doing with Betty gone?" I ask Veronica. Last year Betty died in a car accident. "The twins are taking it better than me. How's- how's Cheryl with all of this?" She ask quietly. "She's back in rehab. I told her that if this continues that I'll have to leave her, I don't want to do that!" I tell her frustrated. I look her right in the eyes. Something is about to happen and I don't know if it's good or not. I look down at her lips and back at her. "We shouldn't be doing this." She whispers. "Cheryl doesn't have to know." I pull her into a kiss. This is going to be the biggest mistake of my life. We make out for a while until my dick gets hard. "I've needed something like this for a month now." I whisper kissing her deeper. I grab a condom. Our clothes quickly come off. She gets off me and kneels down. "Sit up." I do as told as she sucks me off. I hold her head and bob it slowly.  She stops and sits on me. I slide on the condom. "Are we sure we should do this?" I ask quietly. "No." I kiss her again and she rides my slowly. "Fuck." I moan out slightly.

"We shouldn't have done that." I break the silence. Veronica sits up. "I love Cheryl and you still love Betty, even though she's gone. We shouldn't have done this." I whisper. "Than why did we do this in the first place?" She ask quietly. "Because my life is a mess ever since everything happened with Betty and Cheryl drinking again I have nothing to lose!" She scoffs.