I Lost Control

2. Cute Kid

SUMMER

"Good morning, my love." I whisper as I lift my toe-headed son out of his crib and into my arms. He's still half asleep and his blue eyes flutter open for a moment but close as he drifts back to sleep. He's so accustomed to our morning routine that being drug out of his crib at six in the morning doesn't even bother him anymore. When I get home from work, I take him into my bed and we sleep until he's had enough. I'm use to running on very little sleep since having Landon.

I carry him into my room and lay down in bed with him tucked into the crook over my arm, his breath is even and tiny snores can be heard. They never fail to warm my heart. A few moments later there is a very quiet tap on my door and I look up to see my sister, Samantha.

"I'm going to head out, now." She tells me with a smile as she looks at her nephew.

"Thanks for watching him. Same time tonight?" I whisper so I don't wake the sleeping baby beside me.

"Yep. If I can't make it, Blake will watch Landon for you. I'll tell him to be here at eight." Blake is her fiance and the closest thing to a brother I've ever had. My sister and Blake have always been way more supportive of me than I've ever deserved. Sometimes I don't know how my life would have turned out if I didn't have them.

"Thanks, sis."

"Anytime." She shuts the door behind her and a few minutes later I hear the front door shut and lock. I stare down at the little boy beside me and let out a sigh as I close my eyes and try my best to forget about everything that happened earlier this morning.

Every time I close my eyes I see his smirk. I see the amusement written all over his face when I'd slapped him, almost as if he had enjoyed it. More importantly I can see myself not tuning him away sooner. How could I have let it go that far? I'd risked my job, my safety even. I hadn't tried very hard to stop him, in fact there were some moments I liked the way his hands touched me. Maybe the lifestyle has altered my compass. Maybe now I like them a little unhinged.

•••

"Landon, stop playing with your breakfast." I scold as Landon's chubby hands push around the cut up eggs on his plate. The blonde boy looks up at me with his bright blue eyes and lets out a giggle as if I'm the funniest person in the world. He holds his hands up in the air, signaling for me to wipe them off.

"You want to go to the grocery store with mommy?" I ask as I lift him out of his high chair after wiping all of the remaining food from his face and hands. He rambles on in gibberish which causes me to laugh. I set him down on his feet and he toddles off into the living room where most of his toys are.

I head down the hallway after checking on him and look through my closet to find something to wear to run errands for the day. I decide on a simple pair of jeans and and a white tee. My hair falls in messy waves down my back and I shrug my shoulders and leave it the way it is.

Once I make my way back into the living room, I see Landon sitting on the floor, a toy car in one hand and his eyes glued to the screen where vivid colored cartoons flash. I lift him up into my arms and take him into his room to find an outfit for him.

As we walk down the aisles full of food at the supermarket near our home, I point out different items and encourage Landon to repeat after me. It's a game we've always played since he was old enough to form words. Now, he knows a lot of basics and I love it when he talks to me, even if it doesn't make sense.

We are wandering down the produce aisle naming the fruits and vegetables while I shop when I hear a voice behind me. A voice that sends a shiver down my spine.

"Brandy?" I ignore the person since they aren't calling me by my real name, so I know they only know me from one place. I turn my head to the side so they can't see my face and continue pushing the cart down the aisle. "Brandy, I know you can hear me." I feel a grip on my arm and I'm spun around to come face to face with a pair of hazel eyes.

"I'm sorry, you have the wrong person." I lie as I turn back around to face my son.

"I'm not stupid and neither are you." I look at him over my shoulder and glare. When I look back at Landon he's staring over my shoulder at Matt with scrunched eyebrows. The much taller man takes a step closer and Landon's bottom lip begins trembling. I spin around so fast I know I've surprised Matt, but I flash him a glare as red hot anger courses through me.

"Back off." I snap and a smirk forms on Matt's lips.

"I like the fully clothed look." Matt taunts while stepping closer, completely ignoring my warning. "It's like a little tease because I know what's underneath." He looks me up and down, his voice lowering to a whisper to keep the other shoppers in the store from hearing.

"You're disgusting." I seethe once I realize this man has no clue what boundaries are.

"Are you working tonight?" I keep my mouth shut and ignore his question. "So I'll see you later, then." Matt flashes a wink as he looks behind me at Landon who has resumed his happy-go-lucky nature playing with a bag of fresh tomatoes.

"Cute kid."

"Don't. My personal life is off limits. You want to say things to me while I'm at work that are inappropriate you go right ahead, but my son does not exist to you." I spin around without waiting on a response and push Landon so fast he almost falls forward in his seat, but I catch him before he does

"Sorry, baby." I lean down and kiss his forehead and run my fingers through his tousled hair. A sigh escapes my lips as I hurry to the check out without finishing our grocery shopping. My hands shake as I place our items on the check out belt and my eyes do a continuos scan of the store to make sure the mysterious man is nowhere near us.

Once Landon is buckled into his car seat and I'm in the driver's, I see Matt exit the grocery store with two cases of beer in his hands. Even with sunglasses covering his eyes, I can tell he is scanning the parking lot. When his gaze lands on my Jeep, a grin forms across his lips once more which causes a knot to form in the pit of my stomach. I push my sunglasses onto my face with too much force and tilt the rear view mirror to look at my son in the backseat who is completely oblivious to what's going on.

It's not everyday that someone from the club recognizes me out, and Matt having the nerve to approach me while I'm with Landon makes my blood boil. I take one last deep breath before starting the engine and putting the car into drive. As I pull out of the parking lot I run my fingers through my hair and think back to last night.

I never should have let him get away with what he was doing. I never should have let him get inside my head.