I Lost Control

19. We Wait

SUMMER

When I enter the house through the garage, the first thing I notice is how dark it is. All of the curtains in the kitchen and dining room have been drawn and all the lights are off. The second thing is the silence. It's mid afternoon and there's not so much as a television on. Our house is always full of life whether it be the television, radio, or just the sound of us. Today there's nothing and it sends an eerie chill down my spine.

I make my way through the kitchen and into the living room where I see beer bottles everywhere on every available surface. There's a bottle of Jack Daniels half full along with a white powdery residue on the coffee table. My heart drops into my stomach when I step closer and see a syringe sitting amongst all the other paraphernalia.

My eyes scan the downstairs, no Matt, and my heart starts beating out of control. I run up the stairs as fast as my feet will carry me and throw open the door to the master bedroom. Still no Matt.

"Matt?" I call out, my voice shaky and uneven. I slowly step towards the adjoining bathroom, the door is shut but the light shines under the door. It's the only light in the house that I've seen on since I walked in.

I slowly push the door open and my eyes land on Matt who is laying on the bathroom floor, his arm draped over his face. My blood runs cold and my heart begins hammering in my chest. I suck in a deep breath, and my throat feels tight. I drop to my knees and place my hands on his bare chest to see if he's breathing. Nausea overwhelms me but I will it to go away as I shake the man on the floor in front of me.

"Matt!" I cry out I grab his arm and pull it off his face. His chest rises and falls slowly, much slower than it should and panic sets in. I've read about heroin overdoses before, and thanks to Val I know what he's probably done too much of. Do I call an ambulance? I dig my phone out of my pocket and try my hardest to keep it together as I dial Brian's phone number.

"Hey, where are you?"

"Brian, I think he overdosed. I came to check on him and he's on the fucking bathroom floor barely breathing. What do I do?"

"What did he take?" Brian's voice is calm, full survival mode, of course he would know what to do.

"There was a syringe downstairs. Alcohol. Cocaine."

"You need to get him into the shower. Turn it on as cold as it will go. If it's the heroin, which it probably is, and he hasn't taken too much, he will come around. If not, call 911. I'll be there in 10 minutes."

I throw the phone down on the tile floor and lean down to Matt who still hasn't moved. I wrap my arms under his shoulders around his chest from above him and muster every ounce of strength I can and pull him to the shower. Thank god it's a walk in. I turn the faucet on full blast to the coldest setting and the water pours out and soaks me clear through, but I don't feel it. I drop to my knees and pull Matt's body the rest of the way into the spray and hold his head in my lap as I lightly slap his face with my palm.

"Please, wake up. Please, Matt. I'm begging you. Wake up." There's no response from him and my body goes numb. White hot fear sears down my spine as the tears begin to flow. I'm soaked from head to toe as I lay his head down on the tile of the shower floor and scramble to find my phone. Just as my fingers dial 911 I hear movement and I turn to see Matt staring at me as the water continues to pour down on him.

"You came back." He whispers out, his eyes still foggy, his voice barely there.

"Jesus fucking Christ." I cry out as I make my way back over to him and wrap my arms around his shoulders to sit him up against the wall, my phone forgotten. He continues to stare at me like I'm an alien as I turn the water off. "How could you?" I cry out as I climb back out of the shower. The chill of the water hits me as I start to come down from the adrenaline rush. Matt doesn't move, his gaze blank and rage courses through me from head to toe. I stand there shivering, dripping water everywhere as I stare at him, feeling the ultimate betrayal. He wanted to abandon us.

"Did you call an ambulance?" He asks, his voice emotionless and I can tell he's not all the way back on earth yet.

"Almost." My voice cracks.

"My top desk drawer, the black box. Bring it to me." After the words are out of his mouth he turns to his side and vomits, his shoulders heaving and his body begins to shake. I run into the bedroom and retrieve the box he asked for. When I open it it contains a tube with a screw top. The word 'Narcan' is typed out in bold font, but nothing else is written.

"Do I inject you with this? Matt! Matt, look at me!" I grab his face in my hands but his eyes have closed once more. I squeeze my eyes shut and try my hardest to remember what I've seen on medical shows. I twist the top and stare at the powder before the realization hits me like a train. I shove the tube into his nostril and press the bottom of the cylinder. It makes a 'poof' noise and I switch to the other side before doing the same.

"Summer!" I hear my voice being called from downstairs.

"Up here!" I shout back and I hear Brian running up the stairs. He comes racing into the bathroom, almost slipping on the wet floor from my clothes.

"I gave him this." I throw the vial at him and he catches it in his hands.

"Did he wake up?"

"For a second. He told me to get this so I gave it to him. What do we do?" Brian lets out a sigh as he comes over to me and wraps me in his arms, not even taking notice of my drenched clothes.

"We wait." Brian whispers.