I Lost Control

4. Summer

SUMMER

We sit awkwardly across from each other at the small diner a few blocks down from the Blue Moon. Matt's hands are folded in front of him on the table as I sit with mine in my lap staring off to the side so I don't have to see his intense gaze on me. I don't know why I'm here. I have no idea why I've let a stranger get under my skin, but I have. I had only agreed to come because it was close to the club and if anything were to happen, Robby from security wouldn't be far away.

An elderly waitress comes over with a warm smile and it feels nice to have someone break the tension between myself and the tattooed man across from me. There hadn't been many words exchanged since we sat down, and I think both of us aren't exactly sure what to say.

"My name's Margaret and I'll be taking care of you two. What are you guys having this morning?" She asks as she takes out a pad of paper to take our orders. I look to Matt and he nods his head for me to order first.

"I'll take two scrambled eggs and two slices of bacon, please, with a side of chocolate chip pancakes. No syrup." Margaret scribbles my order down and then turns to Matt.

"I'll have the All American breakfast with an extra side of bacon, please."

"With toast?"

"Sure." I play with a few loose threads on the oversized white tee I'd changed into after work and do everything I can not to get distracted by his intense gaze.

"Alrighty, I'll get the order in. It shouldn't be too long before it's ready."

"Thank you." I tell her while returning her warm smile. Once she is gone I turn my attention back to Matt.

"Why are you so quiet?" I ask, the painful silence between us too much for me to take any longer.

"I suppose I'm a little surprised that you're really here with me right now. I thought I'd scared you off."

"You almost did."

"I'm sorry for that, it wasn't my intention. Sometimes I can be a little," he pauses as he searches for the right word. "Intense. I'm going through some stuff right now that's making me a little more impulsive than I usually am." I run my fingers through my hair and toss it off to one shoulder, needing to busy my hands with just about anything at this point.

"Approaching me while I was with my son wasn't okay, but I think you know that, right?" I lean my elbow on the table and rest my chin in my hand.

"I do. I didn't expect to run into you there. When I saw you I was so surprised and I just wanted to talk to you." Matt looks down at his hands as soon as the words are out of his mouth and I'm not sure how to take them. For once he doesn't seem so confident.

"But you don't even know me. I'm a stripper you just met a few days ago. There's hundreds like me at the massive amount of strip clubs here in town." I tease. "You've got a lot of options."

"I saw you outside of what you do. Every stripper I've ever seen outside of their job has been a hot mess that screamed what they were. Trash. Not you, though. When I saw you at the store you were so beautiful and normal. Like you keep your work completely separate from your personal life."

"I do. I won't have my son knowing what I do for a living. I hope I'm not still stripping when he's old enough to know." An unconscious smile pulls at my lips at the thought of my son at home sleeping.

"How old is he?" Matt asks and I can tell he's amused by the smile on my face. I hesitate for a moment, not wanting to give him any information he could use against me. I'm still not sure about the man in front of me. "I'm a good guy, Brandy. I promise. Ask me anything and I'll tell you the truth. I have nothing to hide and I don't have an ulterior motive."

"He's a year and a half."

"He looks just like you. What's his name?" There's genuine curiosity in his voice as he watches me. 

"Landon Carter. He's named after his father."

"Where is his father, if you don't mind me asking?" A frown finds it's way onto my face at the mention of the man I once loved. Memories flash before my eyes but I push them to the back of my mind before I lose myself in them.

"He was killed in Iraq just after I found out I was pregnant. His unit was driving through the desert when a land mine went off. They were all killed instantly."

"I'm so sorry." I nod my head and swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. "So why stripping? Didn't he have a life insurance plan that would take care of you and your son?"

"We were never legally married. We had a small ceremony with our families before he was shipped out. We had planned on going to the courthouse to make it official, but he was deployed a lot sooner than we expected." My shoulders raise and fall in a shrug. "His parents wouldn't cooperate to do a DNA test on Landon, so in the eyes of the state he has no father." I'm quiet for a moment as I play with the corner of my napkin. "Carter and I didn't even know we were having a baby until after the ceremony. He died just after I found out the sex of the baby. He was so excited that he was having a son."

"You don't deserve to have to do what you're doing to take care of him. You deserve someone that will take care of you and your son's every need."

"Well I'm not that lucky." Matt stares at me for a few seconds before laughing. "What's so funny?"

"I just realized I don't even know your real name." His laugh is warm and this side of him is so completely opposite of the man inside the club. He seems so much more gentle, so human compared to the guy grabbing my wrist and forcing my hand.

"My name is Summer."

"You look like a Summer."

"And what does my name look like?" I tease as I sit back in my seat, feeling much more relaxed now that we've broken the ice.

"A beautiful smile, your eyes, you just seem like a genuinely good person." A smile forms at his words and I can't stop the blush that appears on my cheeks. "Sorry to change the subject."

"No, it's fine. I don't like to talk about Carter for very long. It takes me back to a time when getting out of bed in the morning was a struggle."

A moment later, our waitress arrives with our food and I stare down at my plate as my stomach growls. I take a few bites of my eggs and let out a content sigh while closing my eyes in delight.

"Good?" Matt asks me as he takes a bite of his French toast.

"I love breakfast." That earns a chuckle from the man in front of me and it's a nice sound. We eat in silence and after we are finished Matt pays for the bill even though I tried paying for my own. Once we are outside of the diner I look up at the hazel eyed man and he sticks his hands in his pockets and turns to me.

"I had a lot of fun." Matt says as we walk to our cars that are parked beside each other. Our steps are slow and part of me wants to continue talking and not say goodbye just yet, but I know that's dangerous. So instead, I reach into my purse and pull the keys to my Jeep out.

"I did, too."

"Thank you for telling me about you. Maybe next time I'll let you know a little bit about myself."

"I'd like that." We reach our cars and I open the drivers side door and lean against the roof.

"I'll see ya, Matt." I sit down in the driver's seat and he shuts my door for me with a smile. I put the key in the ignition and roll down the window.

"I'll see you later, Summer."