I Lost Control

30. Better

SUMMER
TWO YEARS LATER

The playground is quiet as I sit on a bench, my face buried in a textbook for one of my college classes. A notebook is laid out beside me with chicken scratch littering the page. Landon plays on the swings with a few other children as I read, while I do my best to stay focused. The psychology textbook is dense and pretty boring to say the least when I would much rather be playing with the blonde seven year old.

It's cold today in Portland and I set my stuff down on the bench to reach for the sweater I had brought along just in case. My cell phone vibrates in my purse just as I've gotten my arms into it and I dig to find the iPhone before I miss the call.

"Hey, Sam." I greet my sister after pressing the green button.

"What are you up to today?"

"I'm at the park with Landon right now. I'm trying to study, but it's not going so well." I can hear her laugh on the other end of the line.

"Blake and I are headed up to Portland for the weekend. I thought we could get together." The thought of spending time with my sister fills me with happiness. Our relationship has been rocky in the past, but over the last two years we've worked hard to get on the same page.

"I'd like that and I'm sure your nephew would, too."

"Awesome. We are flying out in the morning the day after tomorrow, so we should be there mid afternoon. Could you pick us up from the airport?"

"Of course. Call me when you land?"

"Sure thing." We chat for a few moments about school and life before saying our goodbyes and by the end of the conversation, the sun is beginning to go down.

"Landon, it's time to go!" I call out while packing up my stuff into my backpack. I swing one strap over my shoulders and wait for him to wave to his friends before he races over to me. "Are you hungry?" I ask as I take his hand in mine and we begin our short walk back to our house.

"A little. Can we have breakfast for dinner?" He questions with bright eyes and a silly smile.

"Well, sure if that's what you want." I shrug. "Why not?" As we walk, I take in how much he's grown in the last few months. He's shot up like a weed in height and a part of me mourns the loss of him being a toddler. The shaggy locks I use to love so much have been trimmed down to a short crew cut, by his own request, and I wish for just one more chance to run my fingers through those curls.

As we reach our street, Landon releases my hand and skips along ahead of me before stepping off the sidewalk into our neighbor's yard. I keep a close eye on him, not liking when he gets too far away, but he's been begging for a little bit of independence so I do my best to give it to him when it's safe.

"Stay where I can see you, please!" I call after him.

Our neighbors are good people, an elderly couple who don't mind the rambunctious seven year old who likes to wander over and check out their garden every now and then when the wife is out planting flowers or play with their Jack Russell Terrier, Rudy. They had welcomed us to the neighborhood with open arms the day we arrived. The wife, Alma Cartwright stands at the front door now with a smile on her face as she watches Landon hopscotch over their front walkway stones while he waits for me to catch up.