I Lost Control

13. Val

Val's hair is longer than I remember from the last time I saw her when she came to the Blue Moon years ago. It feels like a lifetime since I was face to face with Matt's ex wife. I'm sitting in a booth in the corner, a green tea held between my hands on the table, feeling much more nervous than I had expected to, when she steps inside. Valerie scans the coffee shop and I raise a hand to get her attention. A smile forms on her lips and I'm surprised with how joyful she seems this time around. She looks much happier and confident than the nervous woman I met before. She looks like she's flourishing in her new life.

I stand from the table as she comes over and without warning, she envelopes me in a warm hug. As we both sit down, I glance at her hand to see a giant diamond the size of her knuckle on her left hand.

"How are you?" Val asks.

"I'm good. What about you?" I take a sip of my green tea, needing something to do with my hands to keep the nerves at bay.

"I'm really great, thank you." The smile on her face is contagious.

"Beautiful ring. You're engaged?" She holds her hand out to me and I brush my finger over the shimmering diamond.

"Last month. His name is Zack and he's the best thing to ever happen to me." Val beams.

"I'm happy for you."

"Thank you. You look really good." She looks me up and down as the words leave her mouth.

"I'm doing okay." She raises an eyebrow, her smile fading when she sees I'm not as enthusiastic. "I'm sure you know why I called. I'm sorry if it's out of bounds, me asking you here, I know it's weird."

"Not at all. The people in your world now were my family once. I don't mind one bit."

"I need to ask you some things about him." My stomach turns as I breach the sensitive subject. Calling Val wasn't what I wanted to do, but it seems she's the only one who might understand what I'm going through.

"Matthew." I nod as I fiddle with the cup in my hands.

"And other things."

"How can I help? I wasn't very good with him, so I don't know if I even can, but I will try." Theres a genuine time to her voice.

"I just need to know what being with him was like." I whisper out while scanning the cafe to make sure no one is listening to our conversation. I wouldn't want anyone else to hear any of this. Val takes a deep breath and leans forward, as if she knows this conversation has to remain a secret. The blonde woman brushes her hair behind her ear and smiles once more. There's a faraway look in her eyes, as if she's remembering a fond bit of her past.

"It was so great in the beginning. I remember how happy I was, how happy he was, but then after a few years things began to change." Val let's put a sigh as she clasps her hands together on the table in front of her. "There were definitely bad times in the beginning, but they were few and far between." Val pauses as she thinks back and its obvious memories are replaying through her mind like I had suspected. "After a few years, after we were engaged, things changed. It was harder. I could tell he was struggling. I grew up with him, so I knew who he was through and through. I just didn't expect things to get so bad."

"How did you cope?"

"I loved him. I wanted it to work more than anything. He was my first love and I was willing to try everything to keep him."

"But nothing worked?" I lean forward fully invested, now.

"Nothing I did worked." Her eyes flicker down to the tabletop.