Different (Matthew Espinosa)

Chapter 8

My heart sinks and feels like it's gonna explode and it feels like it's half my body weight. I don't know what to say at all. I'm freaking out. "Uh..." Is all I can choke out. What do I do!? He frowns. "I get it... you don't like me that way." He says sadly. I'm freaking out. "Jack no, It's just... I just..." Im freaking out. I start breathing really fast and stand up. Wtf do I do! I get up and leave. Sprinting and not looking back.

I hear Jack yelling after me but I don't stop. I'm freaking out and have to stop. I'm hyperventilating. I fall to my knees and can't stop. Jack G runs up I me and picks me up bridal style running to his car. He puts me in the back seat and lays me down. I pass out.

I wake up in a hospital bed. My visions blurry but focuses. I look around and see Andrea sitting by me. "Hey." She says. "I heard what happened. Are you ok? I'm so sorry. I understand why you wouldn't know what to do when he asked you." Andrea says fast. "Yeah I'm ok. I just need to relax." I reply. "Can they come in and visit?" Andrea asks. "of course." I reply. She smiles and walks out. Two minutes later people pile in.

Jack G runs and hugs me. "I'm so sorry Karrisa. I should've never asked. I knew it was too soon. I just... don't know." He says and I start letting tears roll down my cheeks. "It's ok." I say. He pulls away and everyone else gives me hugs. Until... Matthew walks up and hands me and small teddy bear while everyone else sets balloons or chocolates down. I take the bear and chuckle under my breathe.

"Thanks for the teddy bear." I say and he smiles a little. The doctor walks in. "Ok Karrisa you can change and leave." She says and I get up and go and change. I pull on a Andrea Russet Tshirt, cute grey baggy sweatpants, black vans, black beanie, and leave my hair down and put some light makeup on. I walk out and see I got some text messages.

Andrea✌️: We all left to go to Starbucks but... Matt is staying and is giving you a ride. My idea so your welcome😈 I just really hope you guys work out.

Me: Oh my gosh you weirdo! Thx but he's mean so... and Otay. whateves.

I put my phone away and walk out into the lobby with my balloons and chocolates and my favorite... the tiny, big eyed, soft pink hear Matthew gave me. I see Matthew and he sees me and we walk out and hop in his car. I look out the window and we drive in silence.

"U-um... Karrisa? Can I talk to you?" Matthew asks stuttering. "Um yeah." I reply. He pulls into a park so we can talk. We stay in the car. "So um... I guess you know me as a jerk now" He says blankly and looks at me. I don't know what to say so I just slowly nod yes. "Well... I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I am a jerk. So don't bother trying to get close to me, or care about me ok? You'll just get hurt." He says quietly but seriously.

This hurt me so bad. "Matthew... of course I'm gonna care about you. And of course I want to he friends but I just don't understand why you're so mean sometimes." I say to him. Ue looks down hurt. "Just never-" I cut him off. "Yeah ok whatever. Just nevermind. Fine. Just drive and bring me back to the hotel Matthew." I say a little pissed and look out the window. "Karrisa... I'm sorry." He replies hurt. "Matthew I can't forgive you when you can't even tell me why you're mean to me and others. I honestly really liked you before I met you and enjoyed smiling at your videos. But I guess you never know who a person behind a camera really is now do you?" I tell him and he just looks hurt. I look away pushing the tears away.

He starts the car and we drive to the hotel in silence. We get there and I get out. My stomach is knotted because I really like the Matthew in his vines and videos but he's not actually like that...

I grab my stuff and walk in with Matthew behind me. We get to our room and walk in. I put my stuff away and arch spongebob in the living room. Then surprisingly Matthew sits right by me and watches with me. Um... ok. Then we hear a knock on the door. I get up and get it and there's a vase of roses and a letter on it for me. I look at the note and it says : Dress nice and be ready in an hour. And stay hungry. - Jack G

I smile and bring the roses in. I set them on the counter and leave the note there too. I take a shower and get ready. I'm wearing a black dress that's right above the knees and black flats with my hair down and light make up. I walk out and see Matthew reading the note to the flowers. My smile fades. He looks up at me and looks down. He goes in our room and slams it shut and locks it.

I don't know what his problem is! I take a piece of paper and a pencil and write him a note.

Dear Matthew,

It's Karrisa. I don't get why you're mad about me going out with Jack. I don't get why you're mean to me and others. I'm sorry of I hurt you. I just want to be friends and get to know each other. I'll still always care about you.

Karrisa

I tape the note on our bedroom door and hear a knock on the door. I open it and it's Jack.

"You look wonderful!" Jack G says. I blush and says thank you and he grabs my hand leading me down to his car. We get in and pull into Olive garden. It's wonderful. We get out and e leads me in and we order. "You look amazing." He says to me. "Thank you, you're not too had yourself." I say and giggle a little. Our food gets here and we eat. We talk a little and then our check comes. He won't let me pay and wins.

I thank him and we get in his car. That's when he leans in and kisses me... but I don't kiss back. He pulls away. "I'm sorry." He says. "No it's fine I just wasn't ready." I say. He bites his lip and looks at me again. That's when I lean in and we kiss for real this time. I don't feel anything at all. Nothing, nope, not even a spark. We pull away and I can't even look at him. I hate dating... why did I do that!? He's just gonna hurt me! It's happened before!

"Are you ok?" He asks worried. "Yeah fine." I reply. "Listen... I really like you...." He trails off. I feel so and right now. I look at him. "I like you too Jack... But..." He cuts me off and kisses me. I kiss back though so I don't make him sad. "I know you probably don't like me back... but I like you." He says.

We get back at the hotel and I say that you and goodnight. I walk in and Matthew is still in our room except the note is gone. I knock on the door. He doesn't answer. I go in the bathroom and lock myself in their. What did I just do?! Ugh... I don't even have feelings for Jack!