Different (Matthew Espinosa)

Chapter 13

I cry myself silently to sleep. I wake up around 10:00am. I look horrible. I walk in my bathroom and take a shower and do my routine. I put my hair in a high pony tail, slip on black high waisted shorts, a galaxy crop top with an infinity sign on it and black vans with my normal light make up. Before I leave I see a shaver... I walk towards it and take the blades out. I clean them then hold one to my wrist.

One slice, two slices, three slices. I bite a towel to hold in my screams and tears gush down my cheeks. Fuck my life. I slice till I have eight cuts on my wrist and clean my wrist and blood up. I put a bunch if bracelets on and cover up my cuts with them.

Mom... dad... Drake... I love you and miss you. I should've been the one to die in that car accident.

Flash back:

We were in Wisconsin visiting relatives. Me and Drake were in the back goofing off like regular 10 year olds. Mom was on the phone while dad was driving but couldn't concentrate with me and Drake in the back. I look up and a semi is coming our way and my dad wasn't looking and was too busy yelling at me and Drake. "Dad!" I scream loud and that's when it hit us hard. Everything was blurry and dizzy. I slowly open my eyes and that's when the pain kicks in. I cry for help and that's when I see Drake laying lifeless right by me. "Drake!" I scream. I can't move. I look up and my mom and dad are definitely dead. "Mommy! Daddy! No!" I scream out to them. I hear sirens and that's when everything goes black.

End of flashback.

I let out my tears and just sit there. I clean my face and redo makeup. I go on my phone and see a Instagram photo from someone at my old school. It's of me and... Jake. Jake... the one who broke my heart. Who made me broken and push people away. It's me and him at a football game hugging. I cry again. Great I just re did my makeup.

Another fucking flashback....:

I was at Jakes birthday party. It was Saturday and I can't wait to give him his special birthday kiss. I make my way through the crowd of drunk and high dancing people to find Jake. I can't find him though. I walk and finally go to an empty hall upstairs. I listen through doors and they are all silent until I reach one room. I walk in quietly and that's when I see Jake kissing another girl on a bed. I don't know what to do. They don't know I'm there yet either. "Wait what about your girlfriend?" The girl asks Jake. "Oh Karrisa? She's nothing. Pathetic at the least. She was just a toy that wanted some love but knew it wasn't gonna last." He smirks and my heart shatters. I'm breathless. I slowly walk back out without him or her knowing I was in there. I take his stupid heart lock it he gave me and throw it on the ground and smash it. When they come out he will definitely see it. I run out and run home. I hate my life!

End of flashback.

I can't stand it. I redo my makeup once again and walk out of the bathroom. Matthews up and is in the kitchen but I don't look at him at all and pretend he isn't there. I sit on the couch and put my ear buds in and lay down. Closing my eyes and blocking everything out. I turn on "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith. I want to cry but don't because Matthews here. I feel a tap on my shoulder and look up to see Matthew with a blank face. I pull my ear buds out.