Different (Matthew Espinosa)

Chapter 12

I let the cool breeze hit my face. It's nice being alone. I like it. A lot. I'm sitting there when all of a sudden someone sits down by me. I see it's Shawn. Shawn Mendes. I scooch over a little so I'm not that close to him. "Oh I'm sorry." He says quietly and getting up. "No no it's fine. I just didn't know if you wanted to get close to me." I said back and he sits back down. "So Karrisa, I haven't really gotten to know you..." he says trailing off. "Well.... ask me some questions." I say to him with a light smile and he exchanges one back.

"Ok... so why are you out here?" He asks curious. "Just needed some air and to get away." I reply. I kind of lied. Actually it was the truth but not the whole truth. "Oh ok... Um... where you from?" He asks. "Originally from Florida but moved to LA with Andrea." I reply. He asks a lot of questions and gets to know me and then I ask him some questions and get to know him.

"So do you wanna go back in?" Shawn asks. "Only if you stay by my side." I reply to him. "Of course." He replies and we stand up and link arms. We walk inside and it smells like alcohol. I'm scared shitless because I don't want to see Matthew or Jack. My heart is twisted bad and I long for Matthew now. Ugh! Me and my stupid fucking depression always get in the way! We walk through a crowd and Bart texts everyone that he's here to pick us up. We walk around to gather everyone but then my heart stops. Dead stops. I feel like my heart just shattered so hard. I see Matthew... kissing another girl.

I stop dead in my tracks and can't hear anything. I feel someone grip my wrist and it's Shawn. He's looking at me worried. Tears pour down my cheeks and I fall backwards but Shawn catches me. Then it's black.

I wake up in a car and look over to see Shawn driving. "Shawn?" I ask quietly. "Good you're awake." He replies. "Bart is in the limo so we could drive alone." He replies. Then it hits me like a brick to the heart. I remember Matthew kissing another girl. I sit there speechless and frozen only feeling the pain in my heart. How could he do that! I'm broken. I need my razor. I'll just take one out of my shaver again.

"Hey it's ok..." I cut him off. "Just stop. It's not ok! I should've never even talked to you guys and stuck with Andrea." I say hurt in my voice. "What did I do?" He asks quietly and hurt. "You didn't do anything... yet." I say with a tear rolling down my cheek. "Karrisa not every guy is a jerk." He says softly. "Every guy I get close to is." I reply crying. He grabs my hand and squeezes. "I will always be there for you. even if we barely know each other. I'm your friend ok?" Shawn says and it reminds me of Matthew saying how I was his best friend. "That's what Matthew said..." I say. We pull into the hotel parking lot and get out.

I run upstairs and run into my room. But that's when I remember I share a room with Matthew. I don't know what to do. Matthew is already in our room so I crash on the couch. I can't take it anymore.