Different (Matthew Espinosa)

Chapter 18

Im in my old school... my middle school. I look around the classroom and can tell I'm in sixth grade. Wtf am I doing here? I look to my side and Andrea is sitting by me. She looks really young. I'm 11... my parents died last year. I look up and the teacher is in the front of the classroom. "Karrisa. Would you mind telling me what year World War 1 started?" Mr. Jimpson asks. Shit I hate history...

Everyone turns and looks at me. "Um... I um... don't know." Everyone laughs at me. I'm so fucking embarrassed. ( ok sometimes I'll star swear words out but other times I'm too lazy) "Of course you wouldn't. You never pay attention." Mr. Jimpson says. I look down. When I look up I'm no longer in my classroom. I'm at a cliff surrounded by forest with clear blue water below me.

I turn around to see my family. "Mom! Dad!" But there was no Drake. "Where's Drake?" I ask them. They glare at me. My heart shatters. "Mom? Dad?" I question. "What the hell Karrisa?!" My dad yells at me making me flinch. "What!?" I yell back. "It's all your fucking fault! You started tickling Drake while I was trying to drive! You fucking distracted me! You killed us! Drake could've survived! It should've been you!" My dad yells at me. I start crying hard.

"You're a disgrace to this family and I am disappointed to call you my daughter." My mom says making me cry harder. They start stepping towards me slowly making me slowly back away. "You bitch..." My dad says. "Im sorry!" I yell at them. "Sorry doesn't cut it!" My mom screams at me. I almost fall off the edge of the cliff and have to stop. I look behind me. I look back at my parents but they're gone. I turn back towards the cliff but then feel arms around my wrist.

"Hey sis. Miss me?" Drake asks. "Drake!" I yell but he glares at me. "I fucking hate you." He says then pulls me off the edge plummeting into the icy water. I hit the water but instead of floating in water I land on gravel. I look up to not see my family anymore but I'm at none other but the carnival we went to at night. I see Matthew and Andrea kissing which makes my heart break.

Then another me runs up to them and says what I said to Matthew and Andrea that night. I watch myself run off. I look back at Matthew and Andrea but they're gone so I turn around but run right into someone and its Matthew.

"Hey bitch." Matthew says. "W-what?" I stutter. "Did you honestly think that I'd like you. Or even love you? Has anyone really ever loved you? Not even Andrea did. She just felt bad for you." He says cold and harshly. Tears stream down my cheeks. "That kiss on the ferris wheel? Yeah that meant nothing." He says. I can't say anything. I'm too broken. Hes right. Everything he said was right.

I close my eyes and open them and I'm at the edge of a tall building. Without even trying my body forces me to jump off.

I sit up fast in my bed. Thank god it was just a dream. But then I remember everything that happened in it and feel horrible. I feel my cheeks and know I've been crying in my sleep. Damn it. I look up and Matthews up looking at me confused. "Are you ok?" He asks. I can't stand him. I glare at him then get up and force myself in the bathroom. I shower and do my routine. I then put on a black crop top, grey sweatpants, black vans, and a grey beanie. Yeah yeah yeah lazy day. But I can pull this look off.

I walk out of the bathroom only to see Matthew gone. Whatever. I walk in the kitchen and pull out cereal. I've just got to forget about it all. Just stop trusting everyone. That way you won't get hurt. I eat my captain crunch and sit on my couch. That's when someone knocks on the door. I go and answer it to find Nash. "What the hell do you want?" I ask him. He invites himself in and shuts the door. "I want us." He says getting closer. "Get the fuck away from me you coward." I snap at him and he just smirks. "Cmon Karrisa. Jack is a bitch and Matthew will never love you and is worthless anyways so just let me love you." He says and I want to gag. "In your dreams. Now leave me alone and leave." I say to him.

"Why should I?" Nash asks. "Because I don't want you here. Leave. Now." I tell him opening the door and motioning him to go out. "Fine. Whatever. There's plenty of other girls that are way prettier and less worthless than you." He says and slams the door. I hate everyone.

There's another knock on the door but I refuse to answer it. "Karrisa it's Shawn. Please let me in." Shawn says through the door. Ugh... fine.