Wait until the music's over

1. Insolent dwarf

"It's $3.95" I'm kinda yawning to my young customers, then I suddenly remember the store's motto according to my boss: JUST FUCKING SMILE. So I put one on my face, not without any difficulties.

"Here... whatever, uhm, nice shirt..." says a 12 year old or something pointing at my embarrassing uniform. He's wearing a Chicago Bulls shirt, it's so long that it looks like a nightie. His friend, who I immediately rename Horse Face for obvious reasons, simply bursts out laughing at me. I guess the motto can just fuck off now.
"Oh, isn't it nice? I applied for this job only to get this uniform, you know..."
"What? Really?" asks the horsy with a sincere tone.
People who don't understand sarcasm, I love them. It's one of the few joys in life I manage to experience on a regular basis.
"She's just joking..." tells him the Bulls fan.
"Oh no, I really like it. Why should I wear a plain white boring shirt when I can have a patchwork uniform which contains the whole range of colours of the visible spectrum?"
"Yeah, well, it's... colourful" replies the kid who's ready for beddy. What a guess, Sherlock!
"It is! But my favourite part is this band, here on the left, this polka dot vomit-coloured stripe. A touch of class in my opinion"
"You must be kidding" second brilliant guess of the day, this time by big-teeth Watson.
"What? No, why? I mean, it's so... so... artistical! It's s kinda pop art, especially pop. I feel pop. I love it" I'm almost convincing my own self with my enthusiastic tone.
"Well, good for you... Let's go Tom" tells the little red and yellow knight to his noble steed, drawing circles with his finger around his temple.

"Have a nice day!" I think it was the gesture that made my protocol smile come back again. But only for a while.

The so called "fun" is over and I've got three more hours left of boredom here at the Westlake Mini Mart. If only I hadn't forgotten FILM FORM by Eisenstein at home I could have got a jump on my study schedule. I really should. I like what I'm doing, of course I do, I've been dreaming this for ages. And if I were already tired of Film Studies after less than two months and after all the struggle I went through to be admitted and to attend the University of Washington, I should be put in a mental hospital straight away. However, keeping up with two jobs, study, housework and some semblance of social life (which is strangely more social than the one I had at home) in a whole new city, Seattle, is turning out to be more difficult than I thought. But I'll make it, I always do, school has never been a problem for me. Or, should I say, study has never been a problem. The school-universe is something I've always found quite disgusting, and I surely never made any kind of effort to find a role, a place of mine in this microcosm. Not smart enough to be a nerd, my black clothes and makeup weren't black enough to be considered an alternative girl either. Never played any sports seriously because I'm too lazy, never stood out in debates because I'm too shy. Never even been publicly hysterical or moody and therefore never gained a place among the disturbed. And, except for pot, I've never really wanted to be into drugs, so I could never sit at the junkies' table. In other words, at school I was Miss Nobody. I could never be popular, obviously. A nerdish overweight dwarf whose main ambition is to become a new cult horror and sci-fi screenwriter... that's not exactly the reassuring image you expect from the popular chick, from the prom queen. I actually went to prom, forced by Richard, Sean and Dina, my best friends at in high school in Boise, Idaho. The best ones, that means the only ones, and also members of my band, Squirrels on Crack.

Yeah, I picked up the name, of course.

Well, thinking about that, my last four years passed by in almost total anonymity, but they weren't that bad. God, I miss those three assholes. We all promised to "keep in touch", I hope it's not the usual cliche of those who are never gonna see each other again until the ritual obnoxious ex-students party takes place. A special occasion to meet again and find out how old and boring others, and consequently you, have become. That's not the case right now, we talk on the phone whenever possible and most of all send each other letters and pictures. Hopefully things will never change between us, at least not that much.

The store door chiming abruptly interrupts the stream of my thoughts. A girl with a big bag and a nice hat greets me with a nod and a shy smile and goes straight towards the junk food. I'm just about to go and rearrange some fridge shelves in the dairy section when the door opens again. This time it's someone I know.
"Oh my God! It's Chris Cornell from Soundgarden!" I shout, not so loud, playfully slapping my hand on my forehead.
The tall man rolls his eyes and walks to the counter, while a bunch of packs of Cheez Doodles fall from the girl's hands.
"Hey Angie, how's..." smiley Chris tries and greets me. Poor Chris.
"Oh Jesus, he's talked! He's really talking to ME!"
"Is it gonna last much?" my victim asks sinisterly lifting an eyebrow. Meanwhile the girl with the nice hat was looking for a balance trying to put the items back on the shelf.
"Uhm... nope, I think I'm kinda satisfied now"
"What's up sweetie?" he asks after letting up a brief sigh.
"I'm fine, you know, apart from just being called Sweetie. The rest is ok, no news, same old stuff..." out of the corner of my eye I can see the clumsy girl stepping towards the cash register with a small piece of paper in her hand. I'm laughing inside loudly while speaking.
"Er... excuse me... hey Chris, sorry, I don't mean to bother you but, you know, I love your music!"
"Oh, hey! You're not bothering at all, thank you" if I didn't know him I'd say he's slightly blushing.
"Are you gonna play any live show soon?" asks the girl almost squeaking.
"Uhm no, we're not on tour at the moment, we're writing something new actually, and rehearsing and jamming and stuff, you know. But we're probably playing a couple of shows round here in Seattle in the next future" answers the frontman, as self confident as you'd expect from the lead singer of one of the main bands in the Seattle music scene. But why does he have to talk so fast sometimes? I can't stand him for more than five minutes when he does.
"Great! I can't wait to see you... I mean, see the band..."
"Sure, THE BAND" Chris echoes with a smirk.
"Listen... er... I know, it's kinda stupid but... would you sign this for me?"
"Oh well..."
"I'm so sorry, I only have this carwash flyer, I don't have you with me... I mean, the band... I mean your stuff... your RECORDS and stuff!" this girl is almost as awkward as me, fortunately she's good looking.
"Well, I don't usually bring discographies in my pockets either, you're definitely excused"
"But I got them, I swear!"
"I trust you hun... but I got no pen"
"Here it is!" I can't help bursting into the scene with a pen in my hand "But then you'll have to use it for me also, won't you? I still can't believe it, Chris Cornell at my workplace..." I whisper the last words winking at the girl.
"What's your name babe?" Chris asks the girl, just ignoring me.
"Linda"
"Oh, it's a fancy name. Uhm let's see... To Linda, the sweetest smile ever raised under a hat" Chris mumbles while scribbling down and then gives me an angry look, since I can barely hold my laugh. In the meantime the girl was literally jumping with excitement like a puppy.
"Thank you so much! Now, would you hand me that pen for a second, please?"
"Sure..." Chris answers giving it to her and pretending to look confused.
"Here, that's my number, you can call me sometime, if you want to..." the girl takes Chris's hand and writes down her phone number on his palm. Wow, the shy girl is quite brave!
"Oh thank you, I'll do that, why not!" Chris tells her with a wink.
"I gotta go now, bye Chris" Linda greets him with a peck on the cheek and basically storms out of the store. Without buying anything.

The door chime gives me the green light to start laughing my ass off.
"Are you having fun?" Chris asks me with a fake pout on his face, then bursts into laugh as well. "Shit, that's embarrassing! I mean, I like it, I really do, but it's... it's just... weird"
"Aw come on, Cornell, don't put on that shy act with me. You're a sex symbol and you love it. Or at least you'll get used to it soon"
"Never!"
"Uhm I don't know... whatever... where's my autograph?"
"Oh stop it!"
"And I want a sweet personal note too, I'm jealous"
"Angie, shut up"
"Heartbreaker"
"Asshole"
"Womanizer!"
"Oh God, you weren't so insolent when we first met, were you?"

No, definitely not.