Wait until the music's over

41. Secrets, magenta and long wear lipstick (Pt. 2)

"Jeffrey, my dear, I don't mean to push but I'd like to remind you we're due to start a tour on February, so it's absolutely necessary that you get out of the bathroom before then, do you think you can do it?"

I don't even knock, I prefer standing outside the door and just make fun of him from here.

"Well, before the tour, there's also the concert at the Off Ramp" Eddie chimes in, behind my back, ready to go, like a schoolboy, with his notebooks underarm.

"That doesn't count, nobody's gonna come!" the caveman yells from inside the bathroom.

"People came the last time" I retort.

"Exactly, they came to see us the last time, why the fuck should they come again?"

"And do you think there'll be people at our shows in California?" Vedder asks as he walks closer to the door.

"It depends on how many friends and relatives you got there!" Ament answers and I knew he was gonna say this, we're at a point in our friendship where I can foresee what he's about to say almost everytime. Or maybe it's just that he always makes the same shitty jokes.

"Surely Alice in Chains will come and see us play, also because they'll be there aready. That's what touring with another band is for: we see them and they see us"

"Alice already have a large fan base though..." Eddie adds shaking his head.

"And they see us," I repeat without batting an eyelid "while their fanbase makes use of our set to go to the bar or to the restroom. Talking about restrooms, JEFFREEEEEEYYYYY?!"

"Just a minute for fuck's sake!"

"They've been together for two years and he still smartens up for her like on their first date, isn't it romantic?"

"Quite touching" the singer chuckles.

This scene really resembles another one, which took place exactly one year ago right outside this bathroom door, yet standing in front of me there wasn't Eddie, but Andy, wearing a lemon yellow catsuit and carrying a bouquet made of condom lollipops as a present to our friend for the occasion. I'll never forget Laura's face when Jeffy went to open the door to her without realising he still had those things in his hands. Andy was a champ in stupid ideas, apparently insignificant silly things which usually gave way to huge events with such an impact on us that they'd be remembered for ages. Thinking about it, that's also what happened with his last stupid idea, something that'll make it impossible for us to forget him. Unfortunately it was really his last one.

"Here I am, so you'll stop pestering me" Jeff comes out of the bathroom, way sooner than I expected.

"Ok, I said to hurry up, but you could have put a little more effort anyway" I remark as I look at him from head to toe.

"Fuck you, Stone" he flips me the bird as he walks past me and grabs his bass, which he had previously strategically left in the hallway.

"You're right, if she loves you she'll accept you the way you are, even though you're ugly" I go on as I follow him outside the appartment and Eddie tags along.

"And what about Grace? Don't tell me she accepts you the way you are. In that case, give that woman a medal or something!" Jeff sports his protocol asshole smile and starts picking on me while we're on the elevator. Sorry for him, but I don't give a fuck.

"Umph, Grace, please! That girl's a nutcase..."

"Exactly, craziness is the only explanation for the fact she's interested about you"