Wait until the music's over

12. Puddles and oceans

Ok, Seattle's great, the people's great, genuinely warm and welcoming, the music scene is great, everything's great... but I can't stand this rain anymore.

I already knew you can't just live in your swimwear all year here in Seattle, and I'm fine with that, but it can't rain six days a week! The foggy and cold dawn in San Diego, when I usually surf, can't be compared to this. Even winters in Illinois can't. I prefer the snow and the freezing wind of Chicago to this constant shower with sauna.

"It's like living in a fish tank" said Angie, truer words were never spoken.

She's something different, she looks so shy and almost intimidated by people sometimes, and maybe five minutes later she kills you with a wisecrack. She's nice and funny, she's one of the people I'm most happy I met. She reminds me of Beth somehow. I mean they have totally different personalities, they're like day and night, and apart from dark hair they don't have anything in common physically either. But she reminds me how Beth was when I first met her, a young woman with a lot of friends, a newly high school graduate, waiting tables at an unremarkable diner, with her ponytail, her embarrassing uniform and her head full of dreams. And she used to share those dreams with the all dressed up waiter of the Italian restaurant on the other side of the street, a guy who was a little older than her and had music aspirations...

I miss her, I miss that Beth, but also today's Beth. The one who goes to work in a pant suit everyday but then comes to skate with me in the evening, the one who's always there for me, the one who tells me every year "you're lucky your girlfriend is jewish or nobody would remember your birthday the day before Christmas Eve", the one who always gets freaking jealous of every girl around me, but never of my music.

We're made for each other and I need her, I needed this break to understand it. I took her and every little thing she does to make me happy for granted, I'll never make the same mistake again. I wish I had a teleporter to be at her door right now and open my heart to her. Since I don't, I only hope Mike gets here in time.

The smile appeared on my face at the thought of Beth dissolves when a van passes by at high speed and the whole content of a huge puddle splashes all over me. I just hunch my shoulders and pull the hood of my too light sweatshirt tighter over my head, thinking that I'd better have waited in the lobby. Standing in the streets won't make my guitarist drive faster. I look down and I think wearing long pants would have been a good idea too. When I move here I'll have to do like they do here in Seattle and wear those long johns under my shorts if I wanna keep them. I'm afraid I'll need to wear them under everything in winter. Anyway, I'll go shopping when Beth is here, her aesthetic taste is much better than mine.
But I could have bought a fucking jacket at least.

Suddenly I hear a car rumble in the distance, the noise immediately becomes a loud roar, so I assume the car must move really fast. I take a few steps backwards, I'm afraid of having a second shower. But as the car stops right in front of me I realize I should fear something else.
"Hey Eddie! Come on, get in!" Mike yells as he stretches himself on the passenger's seat and opens the door.
"Good morning" I greet him getting on the car and throwing my backpack on the backseat. I haven't closed the door yet when Mike starts the car at high speed. The upside of it is that the ride's gonna be short and I won't miss my flight. If I get to the airport alive of course.
"Good morning to you! Uh by the way, that wasn't a gentleman gesture, the door is broken and can be opened from the inside only"
"Uhm ok" I reply, not understanding why he felt the need to explain it. Then I get it: he's just trying to make small talk Eddie, you idiot.
"Did you sleep well at Cornell's?" he asks, supporting my last guess.
"Yeah! It was cool and then... oh ehm the couch was very comfy" I didn't mean to say that, I was about to tell him I met Meg and Angie, but then I kept it to myself. I doubt he'd find it a funny story.
"Haha yeah, I can confirm, I've tested it myself!" Mike says as he makes a tight turn so fast that I instantly regret eating all those cookies I found in Chris's kitchen "And they've got cable too"
"Yeah, but there wasn't anything particularly interesting on tv..."
"Are you ok? You look pale..." he asks me after passing a big truck like it was nothing.
"Sure, I'm fine... it's the cold maybe..."
"Well, now you're bringing your ass back to sunny California, for a while at least! Then you'll have to come back here and try to get used to the weather"
"And learn how to dress, like Angie said"
"Exactly! Haha that girl exaggerates on the opposite side, she would wear a coat in August if she could. I mean, she comes from the mountains and seems more Californian than you. Maybe it's because she's half Italian, who knows"
"Is she? I didn't know that"
"Yeah, her grandparents, from her father's side"
"Oh" I can't speak any other word because my whole life is flashing before my eyes as Mike takes a bend definitely too tightly.
"Meg and me, we have a bit of Ireland in our genes" Mike says suddenly slamming on the brakes at the red lights. Why am I so broke I didn't want to call a cab?
"By the way, is everything alright with Meg now? Did you talk?"
"No, also if we did I'd be dead by now"
And if you were dead I wouldn't be here on this car risking my life with you... but at the same time I wouldn't have my badass guitarist anymore. Uhm...
"She didn't want to talk to you?"
"I didn't even try, when Meg's pissed off the best thing to do is stay away, as you could see the other night"
"I know, I feel... I feel kinda guilty somehow"
"Nah, it's not your fault, just mine, I was a jerk" he reassures me as he starts his car like a pro racer in a competition when the lights turn green again.
Thank god, what if it was my fault? He would have thrown me out of the car and run over me repeatedly...
"But if I hadn't mentioned her nothing would have happened"
"But most of all, nothing would have happened if I hadn't given you a nonsense answer!" he adds slowing down a bit "What I said... I don't even know why I said it. Meg is not just a friend, she's not just fun, I don't want you to get the wrong idea about her because of the shit I said"
"Oh no, don't worry"
"She's a good girl"
"She clearly is, she's a nice person"
"And she can't be my girlfriend because I don't deserve a woman like that..." he slows down even more.
It's not like I'm insisting on this subject only to save my own life, I'm not that cynical. But it's an incentive.
"Well, Meg should be the one to decide if you deserve her or not, don't you think?"
"No"
"No? She saw something good in you, do you think she's stupid?"
"She's not stupid, she's just crazy"
"So what? You're not completely sane either, is it a good reason to throw away the opportunity to be happy with somebody?"
"Well..."
"Cause, from what I saw, before the disaster, you two make a perfect couple"
"Do you think so?"
"Yeah"
"Ok, maybe... but I ruined everything at this point"
"No, you didn't! I mean... yeah, you messed up badly. But you can make up for that. Talk to her, tell her you're sorry and what you feel for her"
Ok Ed, just because you figured out what to do with Beth, it doesn't mean you've become a qualified love consultant.
"Hehehe you make it easy, but it's not that easy when she tries to punch my face every time she sees me around"
"Ok, call her then. Call her today"
"But..."
"As soon as you get back from the airport"
"Uhm I'd better wait for a more decent hour or she'd kill me for real"
"Right, but call her"
"Haha ok"
"I mean, you've got nothing to lose"
"You're right!" he admits after a long silence, then starts speeding up again. Maybe I should have waited a bit longer before giving him so much self confidence.