Wait until the music's over

47. Presents, nightmares and billiard balls

"I'm alright, I'm the one who kept early hours hanging out in Los Angeles with the guys, I basically came back one hour ago" maybe a little more actually, almost two. The guys went for an early breakfast, I came back to the motel with an excuse... honestly I don't even remember if I took time to come up with an excuse or not. Surely nobody asked me anything.

As I came here I basically had the phone in my hands already, then I suddenly felt stupid and put it back in place. Than I took it once again and started to dial the number, but stopped halfway because I remembered it was early in the morning after all and maybe I shouldn't have disturbed her at that time of the day. But I wanted to hear her voice. In the end I've been laying fully dressed on the bed for a couple of hours, the phone resting on my belly, counting the stains on the wallpaper and daydreaming about Angie, wondering what she's doing, if she's already awake, what pajamas she's wearing, what she dreamt tonight, uncertain wether to call her or not. When the time seems acceptable, I mechanically pick up the phone and dial her number, luckily finding her awake.

"Hehe I can imagine, are you in your room now?"

"Yes, I'm in bed" I point out and I don't really know why I'm so specific, maybe to create more intimacy, because telling her exactly where I am and what I'm doing makes me feel like we're closer.

"Wait, I'm gonna go grab a magazine and read something to you" I don't immediately understand what she means, it's because I'm tired or maybe 'cause I'm focused on her voice and how fucking sexy it is on the phone. I mean, her voice is always good, warm and deep, it's slightly raspy and goes down from time to time and that makes it even more intriguing. But on the phone, I don't know for what kind of acoustic mechanism and shit, Angie's voice always seems more present, more focused, as if it came out of the receiver and directly entered my brain, without going through any kind of external space in between, making me feel completely embraced. And I also have the feeling her voice tends to go on a higher pitch when she's on the phone, not too much, just a little bit, mainly at the end of sentences. This thing literally drives me crazy and I'm kind of hooked, I always call her and keep her on the phone for hours saying that I need to sleep and she has to respect our deal, when I would easily fall asleep without any help, only because I can't stop listening to her.

"Oh no no, I don't need to sleep! I mean, well, I should, but I didn't call you for that" today I don't just wanna listen, I wanna talk to her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. But what's this noise? Sounds like water" for a moment I have some kind of deja vu, only it's not something I already saw but something I already heard. I think it's an acid flashback, actually I swear I heard the same water swash on Cameron Crowe's porch on new year's eve, when I was tripping and Angie was talking to me and I saw her as a mermaid sittin' on a rock waves were crashing against. Or maybe it's just that my subconscious does this association so I can think about Angie covered by nothing but seashells.

"Water? Oh yeah, uhm, it sounds like water because... because it is, it's water, I'm... I'm in the kitchen and I'm washing the big mess of dishes, glasses and bowls we used yesterday" she answers uncertain, maybe a little embarrassed because I caught her, maybe she didn't want me to know she was doing something else while she was talking to me. I'm not offended at all though.

"Ah I see! Poor you" I show some support and in the meantime I'm picturing my face stuck between her shoulder and her neck instead of the phone receiver while her hands are busy with the dishes.

"Actually, do you mind if I get you on speakerphone? So I can go on, you know..." she adds and my daydreaming bubble suddenly bursts.

"I can call you later if you want, maybe I'm bothering you right now..." maybe she's not embarrassed, maybe she's just trying to subtly and very gently tell me that I'm just breaking her balls.