Julie, Jenna and I agreed that the first person to wake up would head straight from the hotel to the hospital to see Sam. We want to try to be with her as much as possible, as she needs of support right now. The operation to replace her bone marrow being just days away, Sam was probably in panic. As she had to be left alone overnight, she most likely spent the whole night thinking, which may not be very good for her mental state at this point. I was worried about what could be running through her head, what scenarios she could be imagining and all I could think about was how to distract her.
I was an early riser. I woke up at 7 o' clock that morning to find Jules and Jen were still sound asleep. Deciding not to waste another second, I hurriedly stripped off my pajama, pulling on a pair of jeans and a simple white shirt. I was in the hospital within half an hour.
One of the nurses, a tall, ginger haired woman, led me through the maze of hallways, stopping in front of Samantha's room. The nurse came in first, telling me to wait while she checked on her. The heavy, black canvus of the door contrasted with the small, white '265' that was painted on. My shoulders rose as I slowly inhailed a deep breath of air, moments later sighing out that same breath.
"Miss Kingsford, you're free to come in now." I winced, the nurse was smiling at me while holding the door open. I slightly turned up the corners of my lips as I entered. She closed the door behind me, leaving me and Sam some privacy. Wrapping my arms around myself, I slowly moved towards the hospital bed. As my eyes landed on Samantha, I noticed she was busy scribbling something on a piece of paper. Part of my concern turned to relief, as least she was keeping herself busy. I had a good reason for worrying about her. I knew very well what it was like to be consumed in thoughts about death. In her situation, she was very prone to those thoughts. But they're dangerous, the only way to save yourself is to distract your mind from constantly wondering about it. Because you can drown, taken over by those same thoughts.
"Hi Jess." Sam offered a smile, but her eyes weren't smiling, they showed no emotion. Signs that she's been up all night were traced over her face, the bags under her tired eyes.
"Hi." I greeted back, moving closer to her and taking my spot on the edge of the bed "What are you writing?" I questioned, in hopes of starting a proper conversation.
"Have you called my family?" she shocks me by asking. I furrowed my eyebrows, sending a puzzled look to where she kept a serious expression "Have you called my family and told them I was here?" she repeated.
I sighed, pulling together an answer and carefully started to explain "We didn't want them to worry for no reason, I've decided to call them after your surgeory, when you get better."
"About that." I frowned as she handed me the mysterious piece of paper "What's this?"
"My bucket list." my eyes widened at the piece of scrap paper as she proceded to explain "I need you to help me cross out everything on here, since I won't be able to do it alone. Concider it a last wish."
"Sam...I-"
"Jessica!" she cut me off sternly "I don't expect to leave this hospital alive and neither should you. I'm asking you to do this for me and there's a good chance I won't ask you for anything again."
Shock overtook me as my eyes landed on the small paper in my hands. I slowly unfolded it, going over everything that was on it, her wishes were mostly simple and sweet. Tears formed in the back of my eyes as I reread the first thing she wrote '1) see Calum one more time'.
"My choices were pretty limited, concidering the circumstances." a wry smile appeared on her lips as she tried to lighten up the atmosphere "So will you do it?"
My eyes travelled between Samantha and the list I gripped tightly in my hand. Before I could think it over, I felt myself already nodding.
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hey guys
i'm back home! we didn't reach our goal :( but it doesn't matter because i'm still so appreaciative of everything so far, reads votes and comments, and i still love all of you :)
should i continue to update on a certain amount of reads or ?
love you xx
