Incognito (SingXReader//A Banana Fish Fanfic)

35. Sentiments

The piano stopped from playing after the last piece. She looked at her father who gave a smile at her and then clapping his hands softly.

"Still as talented as ever, my dear." He praised.

It's been a month. She arrested herself at home hoping that if she does, every little thing she felt, every emotion she's came to learn would all disappear. But it turns out it's just as hard to control emotions than before. She wanted to ask her father about getting rid of it, but ended up she has to figure it out herself.

It was already one in the afternoon. Her father stood up and made her way to sit beside her in front of the piano, playing a piece himself. She played on her side to, syncing with his own music. "I give up." He said.

The girl blinked twice. Confused as he looked at his father.

"Your mother... she has beautiful eyes. A sharp shooter. Absolute killer and at the same time beautiful." He said. "We had the same employer that time on a certain gathering we met and I admit, I am still longing for Nathalia's death. We finished our job smoothly, and before I realized, I was making a move on her." He laughed.

"Why are you telling me this?"

He looked at her. "I've signed a contract with Mr. Lee. Protecting him was my only job." He explained.

She nodded. "Then you set aside your retirement again." She said.

"And as for you. Monseiur has already adopted Ash as his son."

She was stunned by the revelation. Her eyes grew saucers looking up at her father who simply smiling front his piano playing. But soon she composed herself to pretend it's just nothing. "Oh. I see." She simply said.

"Yes." He sighed. "I remember when  your mother handed you to me. Saying you're my responsibility when you're three. Those times when I didn't know how to take care of children. Which means, I'm more than troubled of what I'm going to do with you."

The girl laughed. "Dad. What's with you today?" She asked.

"Well, when we were at the toy store that time, I saw you holding a gun. And then I realized, yes, you are indeed our daughter. I have nothing else to think of but give you this life... this role. Taught you what I know... tried to give you what I have... and made you to become like me. I know that's not normal. I don't even know if I'm regretting my decision or if I was simply building up my ideals. I taught you... and then you grew to surpass my expectations as your talent bloomed and sharpened." He began to play Mozart's piece. "I was proud. Until on your tenth birthday, monseiur asked for my return. To teach a young man the ways of survival."

"You mean Ash?" The girl guessed.

"Yes." He nodded. "You two didn't  get along well. Always arguing on logical facts... politics... and even the existence of Aliens. Sometimes monseiur and I would simply watch and learn from your arguments and sometimes laugh when one of you loses steam and started wrestling on the ground."

She smiled. "We have different opinions. Although we know we're both right, we never wanted to give in."

"You two started getting along after months. Your opinions syncing as though you two had started thinking as a cog. When you two were basically kidnapped in thoughts that you were the Monseiur's grandchildren." As the piano still plays, he chuckled. "When we found you, you two are laughing in the ground of unconscious men. I didn't know why, but when I saw you laughed so genuinely I realized that it must be a father's satisfaction if he made his daughter laugh like that. You never actually laughed out loud when you were younger."

She blushed. Her father's sentiments were all too much to bear. But she couldn't help but listen to what he's saying.

"I tried to make you laugh or at least smile for real. But attempts are less than what I expected. I shaped you up too much that typical things won't make you have fun anymore. I thought that was the right thing... I always thought it was because that's how I've lived until today..." he stopped pressing on the keys of the piano. She continued the song herself.

"Why are you seriously reminding me that, dad? I told you it's okay now, I'm trying to suppress my emotional cases." She said.

"This isn't what you wanted, am I right?" That surprised her, making her pressed the wrong key then stopping. She looked up to her father who was watching the piano keys. "Eversince last month, I was told you were being disobedient so I took the liberty to return secretly and watch over you."

"Dad!" She stood up stunned from what het father had said. "Since last month?!"

Blanca smiled. "Yes. And I noticed you've been very happy with him. You argue, but you've always been honest with this boy. That must be why I felt agitated to think you're trying to leave the nest."

"That's why you aimed on his skull?" She asked.

"No. I was trying to test if you can protect him. And you detected me as soon as I aimed and swiftly made him turn to you for me to miss his eye." He chuckled. "Indeed... you can protect him. But not enough to set him off complete."

"It only means that I can't." She softly admitted. "I'm more suited to kill..."

"I see you still lack self confidence." He said. "But if you're this happy, what else can I do but check out what you really want to do. You're my ideal as an assassin... but you're not me."

It took a while when his words processed. Everything he was saying added to confusion. After all these years, when he kept on putting on her thick skull that she's a born killer, he would tell her the opposite. The worst feeling to have.

"Ash is not well." He suddenly said. That earned another surprised look from her.

"What do you mean? Has the Monseiur been hurting him?" She asked concerned.

"No. He's been suffering mild anorexia. He's been living out of IV for over a month now." He explained.

"Anorexia? If this keeps up, he'll die..." she bit her lower lip. The feeling made her heart seized tighter. She's there trying to isolate herself because she thought she was suffering. But here comes Ash who hasn't been able to rest his head and now being taken over by a disorder.

"Yes. Slowly... his body can't keep this up."

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" She asked.

"Simply because you are their employee. You are supposed to know this things." He emphasized. "But I guess I can't blame you. You've been locked up for more than two months just to solidify yourself."

She looked down. He's right. She has no right to blame anyone for not finding that out. It's her responsibility to know herself.

"The monseiur wants you to play the piano for him tonight. A party will be held on a first class hotel where he will celebrate his successful adoption of his successor. He said to give you a dress as a gift which will be delivered soon." He paused and smiled. "Make sure you gear up fully. Protect your brother at any cost."

"What are you trying to imply?" She frowned in suspicion. Her father was definitely acting strange. Months earlier when he said she should dispose her emotion and later today he was being sentimental to let her do what she wants.

"You're a grown up now. Think for the future you want. Tonight will tell your choice." He added. No matter how simple he used his words, the meaning was vague. Everything he said were alien. She can't understand if he is being truthful or he's trying to test her. He watched as his father stood up, made his way on the couch to pick his coat and hat giving one last glance before he turned to the door. "I must go. You should prepare for tonight's festivities." He opened the door and descended off closing it back again.