Tea Time with ShigaDabi

In which Hawks and Dabi host an insert

Hawks: hello broskis it's ya boy
Dabi: s h u t
[cue intro music]

Hawks: did you choose the intro?
Dabi: Yeah. I figured it was fitting for this situation
Hawks: [cocks head]
Dabi: wow.. you're fucking stupid
Hawks: soooo where's shigaraki
Dabi: I don't want you two in the same room. He's sick af if that's what really want to know.
Hawks: ok?
Dabi: so... are you into tea culture?
Hawks: no, but I'm into cringe culture!
Dabi: so that's why you like Enji
Hawks: [frown]
Dabi: any who so what do you wanna talk about?
Hawks: wanna see me bench press you using only my wings not click bait gone wrong gone sexual?
Dabi: what the fuck
Hawks: [inches closer to Dabi]
Dabi: [monotone] oh no
Hawks: [wraps arms around his waist as Tomura enters the room]
Tomura: YOU
Dabi: Babe it's not what it looks like
Tomura: [stomping over as Hawks attempts to leave]
Tomura [to hawks]: you aren't going anywhere
Hawks: quick Dabi say something
Dabi:  [video]

Hawks: Christ...
Tomura: [reaches for Hawks]
Dabi: uh..uhhh HAWKS!?
Hawks: YEAH BROSKI?!
Dabi: WE ARE IN A POLYAMORY RELATIONSHIP *RIGHT*?!
Hawks: wha- no- [it clicks] YEAH "BABY"
Hawks: move bigot [shoves Tomura]
Tomura: fine if you two really are in a poly relationship why have I been disinclined to it?
Hawks & Dabi: [look at each other and sweat]
Dabi: Babe...
Tomura: ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?!
Dabi: yes..
Tomura: WELL?!
Dabi: uh.. this is a sensitive topic um.. [nudges hawks side] how about you handle this...
Hawks: uhh... how about I tell you about myself
Hawks: [video]

Tomura: what the hell
Dabi: wait... tomura this will make you happy... uh you created tea
Tomura: oh yeah, well I know you two are lying about fucking. [in a thicc old southern women accent] So [laughs] I'll leave you two boys to it. [exits room]
Dabi: wtf
Hawks: [bench presses Dabi with the sheer force of his wings]