The Work of Isolation| ✅️

Hold me close

I remember when it used to be better
When we would smile more than frown
When we would talk more than argue
When we would laugh more than cry
That's all distant memories now

Like a switch was flipped
Because everything is now the opposite
I don't want to argue but I can't help it
I should be used to the mumbling
But I'm can't bare the words
I get hurt because you are my mom

I promise you that I love you
I promise that my love for you is there
I just got bad at showing it

You were not like this you said
I listened but I could barely remember
I don't remember the girl you gave birth to
I don't remember her

I'm sorry
I'm sorry I can't control my terrible tongue
I'm so sorry
I know actions speak louder
but i can't prove it
All I have are empty words
because I'm not okay

I'm not okay
my temper has gotten shorter
It's not your fault
I promise
It's all mine

I do feel like you don't get me anymore
But now I think it's in my head
My thoughts are corrupted
I'm stressed because of myself

I'm trying to be good
but I'm starting to believe I'm not
I know you don't mean those harsh words
but they still hurt
They are like daggers in my heart
I told myself I would not shed tears
But you are my mother
How can I not be hurt?

I tried making walls
But you are my weakness
You are my best friend
How can I not tell you anything when that's what I know how to do?

I do need you mom
I will always need you mom
Your love
Your hugs
Your words
I need them all so please hold on to me
Hold on to me just a little longer
I can't promise I'll change
Because I have no idea how

The old me is still there
but she is too hurt
One day I'll be back to normal
So please just a little longer?
Hold me close

********
When we grow up, things change and we are not used to the new things. My parents have always guided me and I hate fighting with my parents because I know they know better for me now, but I never get it either until I see other people go though it and realize that I was blessed that my parents stopped me.

School gets hectic and when you are continuously stressed out, I think it's very hard to act normal. Keep trying and it will all be worth it .

See you all soon.Bye!!!