The Work of Isolation| ✅️

Lypophrenia

My heart is caressed and ever so slowly
It's torn up into small pieces
I feel the pain as my breath hitches
Tears start falling one by one
It hurts more as I feel the needles
They wound my already broken heart
One by one
And I a mere bystander

All of them were my old friends
Yet I couldn't find solace nor comfort

Memories that I made recently should be locked up
They shouldn't have been let out easily
But I was helpless when they appeared
Ready to devour and I stayed still
As they tore parts of me that I didn't know

More tears fell
This time bigger and more frequent
With each tear there was a word
And with each word there was a needle

Finally, I can't breath
I want to scream and shout
But I can't
because I never put on a show

I gasp for breath and slow my thoughts
Then I let out a silent scream
Just to ease my soul that begs
My soul begs for relief that I can't give

I'm sorry dear self
I'm sorry for hurting you
I'm sorry I can't get a grip

I can't stop them
But I can stop myself
Yet I don't
Because I like the feeling

A part of me enjoys my own demise
And I find myself giving it authority

No I can't erase it
But I can suppress it

Now, I sit on the hard floor
The feeling of numbness, my guest
And I wait for it to leave
So, I could put on a smile
Until I let my heart into another hand 
To hold and caress

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Lypophrenia : a vague feeling of sadness seemingly without a cause.

I think everyone goes through this either a lot or occasionally. Getting a heartache is not necessary from big things like death or even a break up but it can be from little things like words that someone said or stress that builds up.

The funny thing is that heartache comes and goes and never leaves you alone. It's like a part of you that can never stay hidden for too long unless you are very good at it.

Take care of yourselves,
Anera