Brotherhood - Loki & Thor ♡

29. the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had

Loki and Thor are now living on Earth, free of Thanos, but that doesn't mean all the problems are solved.

Trigger warnings; dark theme, drug abuse, mental illness, and suicide. Loki has issues.

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Thor seated next to the brunette lady who was weeping her eyes out, on his left sat an old man in his 60s, the man wasn't crying hysterically, but just by being in the room with him Thor could feel the pain radiating from his exhausted body. In fact, being here, in the room with everybody else the air seemed to fill with depression and sadness that Thor felt as though it was suffocating him. But here he was, in the group therapy with people who shared the similar experience to him.

"Up to this day I still don't know what made him do it, or if there was anything I could have done differently to save my boy. I feel like everything is my fault!" The lady, who sat across from Thor, broke out in tears.

For some reason it made Thor feel a pang of guilt in his chest for he'd been cursing at whatever Norns up there for what happened to them, when here, compared to other people in this room, Thor knew there was nothing they wouldn't do to be in Thor's position, to be able to introduce their name and said the word 'incomplete' afterward, because here, it was already too late for most of those people in this room.

Here in the group therapy, for people whose loved ones had successfully committed suicide or had attempted suicide, Thor was one of the only three people who were lucky enough to say 'incomplete' It was some sort of code words here; incomplete meant the attempt had been failed and so the person was still alive and dealing with whatever they were dealing with, complete meant they were dead. Just like that.

After listening to everyone's stories - both complete and incomplete (mostly complete) it was Thor's turn to share his. Thor closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he heard the male therapist say, "Take your time," after blowing air out of his mouth Thor started his story; "A month months ago my brother almost took his own life. I walked in the room and saw him lying on the floor in his own blood with his sliced-open wrist,"

~~~

Loki sat in his apartment with his back against the headboard. The scar on his wrist was still there, but it was starting to fade away. Back then Thor almost got on his knees to beg for him to move out of this apartment and go live with him. Thor didn't trust Loki to be on his own, fearing Loki would harm himself again, but Loki wasn't a child, and, unless Thor chained him up and physically dragged him into his car and drove him to wherever Thor lived, Loki was staying here alone with his troubled mind and poisonous thoughts.

It's been quite a while since they arrived at Earth, ever since Loki cut Thor off. He rented an apartment of his own where his brother wasn't welcomed. He heard Thor earned himself a nice house, secluded and quiet, but no matter how many times Thor suggested Loki move in with him Loki simply turned down the offer. It wasn't that he hated Thor, the problem lied within Loki himself; he couldn't stand facing Thor every day knowing how... how rotten he was. Thor's life was nothing but perfect, but Loki's? Loki's life was a mess. He couldn't possibly burden Thor with his many issues, no, he had already bothered Thor enough.

Thor wasn't supposed to come in that night. If Thor were to be a minute later Loki would surely have achieved his death. But Thor was there, cradling Loki's limp body in his arms, and Thor, damn Thor wouldn't let him go so here he was, still breathing, still hanging on.

Ever since the incident that night Thor made Loki text him every three hour so Thor knew he was alive. Of course Loki made a fuss about this at first, but unless he wanted to be chained up and forcefully brought to Thor's home he had no other choice but to text his overprotective brother every three hour, the only exception was at night when he was supposed to be asleep, that Loki could go a full length of eight hours without texting his brother.