Brotherhood - Loki & Thor ♡

54. barely alive

Thor should have thought better of it when he sent Loki down to Asgard's vault to light up the Eternal Flame. Really, it wasn't his intention to put his brother's life at risk. Though his... recklessness ended in the same result regardless.

Or, Frost Giants never did well with heat.

///

In the end, escaping with their lives was almost impossible an achievement, but they somehow managed; Thor, Heimdall, Bruce, Valkyrie, Korg, Miek and other refugees stuffed together in the Statesman — the ship clearly too small to be considered comforting for this many people, but it'd have to do. In the end, Asgard was nothing but a memory, a fallen kingdom burnt and shattered into specs of dust scattering around the black, endless void of space.

The thought — the knowledge — of it brought with it an eerily hollowness within Thor's chest. But maybe, that hollowness might also have something to do with the absence of a wayward brother of his. Loki.

Thor's only eye lifted up from his hand, that was pointlessly holding a bottle's cork, to the mirror in front of him. He didn't particularly know what he expected; to see Loki in the reflection, standing behind him with his lips slightly curved up into that mischievous little grin Thor had long grown accustomed to? Of course, Loki wasn't here. Not even his illusion.

As much as Thor loathed the feeling — the stubbornness longing, for a lost brother, that refused to entirely die down — looking at himself in the mirror without the shadow of Loki made him feel... emptier than he felt minutes ago.

He averted his eyes, then. Damnit, Loki. Thor thought with a hint of anger and something else that, perhaps, stood too close to disappointment. Which was funny to think about it. After all, Loki's taking off when given a chance was hardly surprising. Why then are you still disappointed?

Disappointed but not surprised, Thor had heard Midgardians say. He probably couldn't have said it any better.

In the end, he tossed the cork in his hand away and went about his day. He had responsibilities; his people now counting on him. There was simply no time to dwell on those who weren't here. (Namely; Loki.)

~~~

"At least he finished his task," said the Valkyrie during a meal. Thor sitting unhappily with his food barely eaten. "Lit the Eternal Flame, released Surtur and defeated Hela. He did what you asked."

"Well, I didn't ask him to leave afterwards, did i?" Thor's voice flat and dark.

Valkyrie shrugged. "With all due respect, Highness, your brother is not a child. He made a choice and he chose to leave. That was... well, his choice." She tilted her head backward, downing the rest of her liquor dismissively while Thor huffed out a breath that felt too warm on his skin.

Except maybe you did ask him to leave. Thor tried going back to what he'd said, if he'd spoken something wrong, something that drove Loki away. It was one of the things Thor disliked about himself, about Loki; him having the tendency to say things without thinking then forgetting his own words after a short while, while Loki had always been the one who remembered every little detail of their shared conversations and somehow find the (nonexistent) depth of it to use against Thor, to twisted Thor's words however fitted his disturbed mind.

Thor sighed, at last. The nagging feeling, of this being his fault, his not choosing his words carefully enough that made Loki flee, wouldn't quite let him be, and he felt his patience running thin. "What if it was something I said?"

"You cannot blame yourself for your brother's departure. You know that, right?" Heimdall's voice snapped Thor out of his little trance. He blinked, feeling almost embarrassed he hadn't noticed his Right Hand's joining them in the chamber until now; Heimdall had always kept quiet, true, but Thor used to be more alert of what was going on around him.