parallel ; {p.jaehyung}

nineteen ;

so, i left chapter eighteen on a cliffhanger, but it was mostly just a filler anyway. at the end of the book, i will released the extended chapters, so watch out for those. honestly, it's because i'm lazy, but i hope you enjoy nineteen. i heard it was going to be juicy.

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brian knocked on the door my stylist finished spraying hair spray and brushed passed her to settle on couch next to me.

"last performance," he said, sighing. i puckered my lips and smacked them together. "so," he said. i left him hanging, twisting a piece of my curled hair.

"are we going to talk about what happened a couple weeks ago?" my mind flickered to the kiss that happened at 1am with kang younghyun. i avoided his piercing eyes in the mirror and tried to busy myself with fixing the messy lipsticks on the vanity counter. i couldn't bring myself to answer him, because i wasn't so sure if i wanted to talk about it anyway. the incident.

i've obviously been dreading the last performance because i knew how this conversation would end. i can't date brian, or jae, even if i wanted to. i tightened my jaw. i turned to face brian who was looking at me with his usual bright eyes.

"brian, you know we can't," i just said instead. i could've said yes and we would've been a thing, but i wasn't sure if i wanted that with my entire being. i bit my lip. do you know how long i've spent thinking about this?

pros: i'd be dating a great friend who would do anything for me. i'd be dating a good looking idol from my ultimate group.

cons: i'd be thinking about someone else the entire thing.

though there are definite feelings that exist for brian, i can't deny the fact that jae will always be in the corner of my mind.

"brian, as my best friend, you know more than anyone that i just can't." i've never hated myself more than in this moment. i didn't want to admit out loud, but i forced myself to be honest. "you know that i like jae and-"

"y/n!" i shut up immediately.

"brian, please. what if someone heard you?" i quietly said, looking around and breathing a sigh of relief when i realized it was quiet in and outside of the dressing room.

he pushed ahead anyway, walking closer to where i was sitting. "don't you think it's sad? i know your real name and i'm the one who's been there for you since the beginning, your best friend. and you still want someone who barely spares you two glances?" i kept my eyes trained on the sparkly blue lipstick. if i looked at him, i was sure to break down.

i just knew it wouldn't be right.

it got quiet after his outburst.

"hey, there you guys are. we're on stage soon," sungjin said, peeping his head through the side.

brian and i nodded. he went ahead of me and i visibly shuddered at the coldness from brian's stance.

sungjin stopped me on the way out, placing a concerned hand on my shoulder. "everything alright, riah?"

i muttered a soft affirmation. i can't let him know what happened. i just have to survive the last show.

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the awkward silence in the car was absolutely suffocating. brian wouldn't look at me, sungjin had his pity eyes activated right after the show ended, jae was as stiff as he always was, and the two youngest were looking around at everyone confusedly.

dowoon reached across and poked my hand. "riah, is everything okay with you?" he asked quietly.  i only returned a soft smile. i glanced at brian hoped he'll be okay.