parallel ; {p.jaehyung}

twenty-one ;

i can't stall any longer. i rolled my eyes, rubbing the back of my neck as stood up from bed. as i got ready, millions of conversation starters raced through my mind.

what am i supposed to say? i was scared, afraid of saying the wrong thing and not being able to come back from it, ever. i felt my anxiety rise. i brushed my hair as quickly as i could and rushed out of the bathroom. i have to find the right time for it.

the minutes passing turned to hours. i spent the morning in the kitchen in silence. i'm sure i was being obvious, but with all the caffeine i took in, i could care less.

after breakfast, i knew i shouldn't stall more. so, i gathered my hair into a pony and stood in front of brian and jae's room. i glanced behind me. jae was sitting on the couch, staring at me. i'm sure he knew what i was planning on doing.

i knocked twice. "you don't need to knock, jae!" he called out, voice slightly muffled through the door.

"it's not jae," i said back, loudly enough for him to hear.

it was silent for a couple of moments, then he called back out. "you can come in, riah."

i opened the door and was greeted with brian on his bed, playing around on his laptop. as i entered the room, he shut it down and set it aside. "hey," he said.

"hi." i took a place right next to him. "i was hoping to talk to you."

he stayed silent, keeping his eyes trained on me.

"i'm sorry, brian. for the tension between us, which i take responsibility for. i can't control my feelings, and neither can you. i didn't mean to lead you on, i can't just forget jae. brian, what i'm meaning to say is that i love being your friend, but i understand if you need time to think about things. i just hope you know that i'll be here for you in the only way i can be, and that's as a friend. i hope you understand that." my throat was tight, but i finished all the way.

brian had no trouble keeping his mouth shut. i awkwardly sat on his bed, fiddling with my hands until i couldn't take the silence anymore. "i said what i wanted to say, so i'll leave you to process, i guess."

before i was able to move off the bed, brian grabbed my hand and pulled me until a hug. "i missed you, too, riah." his arms were warm and strong around me, familiar.

"oh, my god, i missed you so much, brian. this really made me really how amazing of a friend you are." i pulled away from him. "we need to catch up!"

he laughed, removing my hands from his face. "yes, yes, i know. but, first of all, what are you going to do about jae?"

i sat back on my heels. "we don't need to talk about that. please, i just missed you."

we stayed there a bit, then brian pulled back towards him. i allowed myself to relax in brian's arms and my heart was at ease, for the first time in a long time.

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"riah, we should get out. they might think we're doing something else," brian said after a while, poking my arm.

i pulled away once again and hopped off the bed, dragging brian's hand with me. "let's go, we don't have all day!"

the rest of the boys were already out and about and they stared as the two of us left the room together. i ignored jae's intent stares from his place on the couch and called out to sungjin.

"what's the plan for today, boss?" i popped a grape into my mouth.

"yesterday was full, so we've got a day break today. i say we vote on our activities today!"