Tentacles Entangled (Squidward x Reader)

Earl Grey on His Brown Brown Shirt

Squidward was mopping the floor so quickly he swore the shaft was going to break in half. He usually rushed just because he fucking hated the Krusty Krab, but today- today things were different. There was a girl he had to go see after work.

Spongebob was whistling a merry tune to himself as he wiped down the last table.

Mr. Krabs waddled out of his office, locking the door behind him. "Arghhh, I'm heading home mateys." As he turned to leave he suddenly halted in his tracks. "Wait a minute, Squid-boy, you look happier than usual? Are you finally quitting?" Mr. Krabs laughed at his own joke. He knew Squidward was too much of a pussy to quit. That, and he was broke as FUCK.

"If you must know, Krabs," Squidward started, "I have a date tonight with the most beautiful fish in the sea."

Mr. Krabs bashed his eyelashes in disbelief. "A girl, aye?" He stuck a meaty claw under his chin in thought. "Does she have money 'cause we both know you need that. ARGHAHAHAHAHHA!"

Squidward rolled his oval eyes at his boss and continued to work.

"Ohhhh that's not all!" Spongebob chimed in with a peppy smile. "I'm coming along too!"

This made Squidward cringe once more. He tried so hard to forget that his idiotic neighbor is tagging along.

Spongebob suddenly paused, coming to the realization to something. He pointed a jokingly accusing finger at Squidward. "Hey, she never said it was a date you sly-man, you! BAHAHHAHAHAHA!"

Mr. Krabs gagged in the background from pure amusement. Squidward was such a loser.

Squidward really dug himself into a hole this time. Poor squid just wanted one nice night!

Spongebob gasped at his own words. "Why Squidward, you don't actually... like (Y/N) do you?" He blushed, looking toward his twiddling feet.

Squidward, now pissed off and embarrassed, slammed the mop on the floor. "Y'know what Spongebob? How about you don't tag along?!" Squidward grabbed the employee hat from his bald, slimy head and slammed that to the ground as well in pure anger.

Peacing the fuck out, Mr. Krabs quickly scuttled out the door, slamming it shut behind him. He needed to get out of that shit show.

Spongebob's eyelashes quivered in fear. He hated pissing of that hot ball of squid. They had such a beautiful friendship and he couldn't risk damaging it.

Spongebob ran after Squidward (who was now marching out the Krusty Krab toward his bicycle), wanting to fix the damage he has done. "Squidward! Squidward, wait! I didn't mean to-"

"Will you just shut the fuck up, Spongebob!? All you do is blabber away and ruin every good thing in my very unfortunate life! So how about you bless my soul for ONCE and go be an idiot elsewhere. AWAY from me and (Y/N)'s house!" The rest of the sentence was a bunch of insults muttered under Squidward's breath.

All Spongebob could do was just stand there and listen to his good friend (and possible lover) rip him a new one. Sponge tears started forming under his bright blue sponge eyes. "I- I'm sorry, Squidward... I'll leave you and (Y/N) alone for the evening..."

"Thank. You." That was the last thing Squidward said before biking off into the sunset, leaving a sad little sponge to cry by his lonesome.

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(Y/N)'s House

(Y/N) had set down three tea cups (with fancy floral designs on them) on the dining room table. She hoped they didn't mind sitting in old wooden stools instead of the comfy sofa, but their just wasn't enough room.

After putting away several boxes of supplies she couldn't wait to enjoy her evening with her two new neighbors whom will be here any minute. Hopefully. She didn't want the earl grey tea to go cold.

(Y/N) heard a polite knock at the door. Her (E/C) eyes gleamed at the sound and rushed over to open the door for her guests. (Y/N) had put on another, much cuter outfit than the one she had on this morning. She wanted to look her best for her neighbors but more importantly Squidward. His brown brown shirt was intimidating.

She opened the door quickly, but not too quickly because she didn't want to seem desperate. "Hi! Why don't you two come in?" She had finished her sentence before coming to the realization it was just Squidward (not that she had a problem with that, but it was odd nonetheless).

"Uhh. Hern Hern (that's Squidward's laugh i guess. Fuck it)." Squidward laughed nervously. "It will just be me tonight if that's okay."

(Y/N) took a step back hesitantly. She felt like there something much more to this. "That's fine, but why didn't Spongebob come? He seemed so excited this morning."

"Oh uhhh... He just couldn't make it tonight.." Squidward couldn't come up with anything creative on the spot, nor did he want to lie to (Y/N) on the first day.

"Why not?" She kept pushing him for a more detailed answer anyway.

Squidward was starting to get annoyed once again. Why does his whole life have Spongebob in the picture? Why can't he find peace away from his annoying little neighbor for one night?!

"He was still cleaning up at the Krusty Krab around the time I left."

"Oh, poor thing!" She started pouring tea for both her and Squidward at the table. "I don't mind waiting. He still plans on coming, doesn't he?"

Squidward, now trying to keep his temper under wraps infront of his new crush, said. "I'm not sure." His voice now more quick and annoyed. He took his tea cup and stirred it around with his mini spoon to help calm him down again.

(Y/N)'s sweet smile formed into somewhat of a disappointed frown. Sure, Squidward was a cute guy, but she really wanted to chat with Spongebob a bit more. She was annoyed by him at first but warmed up to him rather quickly. Suddenly she had an idea. "Why don't I give him a quick call? He put his number on the side of the side of the pie tin in sharpie. It was really cute." She chuckled at the end.

She got up, her dress elegantly moving with her, and reached for her phone to call Spongebob.

Squidward reacted instantly, anger now getting the best of him, grabs (Y/N) by her fin wrist and took the shellphone away from her.

(Y/N) gasped by this. She was not expecting her new friend (hopefully a future lover) to do this to her. "What are you doing?!" Fear was now in her eyes as she looked up at the taller, more stronger person in the room. Scawy umu!

"You can't-" He gripped her wrist tighter. "You can't call that shit head of a sponge!"

"Why not?! He was nice to me, unlike how you're acting right now, Squidward!" (Y/N) snapped at him.

"It's always 'Spongebob this' and 'Spongebob that'! Why can't it be just about ME for ONCE!?" He stomped one of his four tentacles.

"Squidward, don't you DARE come into my home and yell at me! Who do you think you are?! Get out! Get OUT!" (Y/N) threw the tea at him. Earl Grey dripped down his brown brown shirt.

Squidward, now realizing what he had just done, releases her wrist and runs out of her house. He couldn't believe what he had just done...

Night flowers shined around the night sky as Squidward made his way back to his home. He is ashamed of what he did to (Y/N). All he wanted to do now is to crawl into bed and never bee (buzz buzz, bitch) seen again!

Spongebob peered out of his second story window in his cozy pineapple. A smirk grew upon his face as he watched his neighbor scurry away from (Y/N)'s house.

His arms folded deviously behind his back.

"All according to plan..."