Tentacles Entangled (Squidward x Reader)

Sparkly Pink Thong

*At the Chum Bucket*

Plankton laid on the water bed, adjusting his sparkling pink thong. Karen stood over him, whip in hand.

"Get ready, baby. Things are about to get spicy up in here!" She hit the whip on her metal hand as a devious smile spread across her robot face. Plankton blushed.

"I'm ready." He said, face down ass up, thats the way he likes to FYUCK.

The whip slapped his bottom, sending a brutal pain up his body that turned him on so hard... but suddenly a loud bang on the metal front doors echoed through the Chum Bucket snapping him out of his bliss. A customer?! At this time of night?????

"Wait here, baby!" Plankton whipped off his thong so hard it caused a Tsunami above that was going straight to Indonesia. (and you thought it was earthquakes that caused it. Nah. It's fish getting sexy)

Plankton wooshed open the front doors, ready to greet his customer only to have a change in his expression when he realizes that it was Squidward. An expression of fucking disgust.

Wait... tentacles would be good in roleplay.

Plankton shook that thought out of his head. Now wasn't the time.

"Squidward?" Plankton said in hella confusion.

"Hey, um, Plankton..." Squidward said nervously, he was kind of already regretting his decision to meet Plankton but it was too late. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away from the tiny, single cell organism in front of him.

"What do you want?" Plankton said in a pissy tone of voice. He just interrupted lusty butt time. "It better be chum."

Twisting his squid hands together, Squidward looked down in shame. "I actually came for some advice, but you got any Chum Rum? I might need that..."

Plankton sighed and walked back into his restaurant home, leaving the door open for Squidward to let himself in.

Plankton opened up a fresh bottle of Chum Rum and poured each of them a shot. "What type of gay ass advice do you need, buster? You must be in literal hell if you came to me, an iconic villain, for advice." He took his shot, pouring another one.

Squidward sat down on one of the tables in Plankton's dusty ass restaurant and took a swig of his Chum Rum. "I am in literal hell..."

Plankton put down his 69th shot of Chum Rum (yes he had that many in a matter of seconds. Fuck you) and rasied his brow in concern. Damn, this shit must be serious. "Uhhhh..." He was kind of taken aback. "What's going on, buster, and why are you coming to me for help?"

"Who else am I supposed to go to? I hate everyone." He laid a tentacle on his forehead, looking at Plankton with saddened eyes. "And you hate everyone too. So I figured you were the only one I could relate to. And maybe, with that in mind, you could possibly be the only one to help me."

"The fuck?"

"Please, Plankton!" Squidward said with sad anime eyes (kawaii). The twinkle in his eyes could make anyone melt, he was that gorgeous.

"Fine! Spill it!"

There was an awkward pause before Squidward worked up the guts to open himself up to the first person in forever. "It's... girl issues."

Not relatable. "Girl issues? You do realize I built my wife, right? She's not even a biological being. Our sex is complicated as hell, okay? She has no wet pussy! I have no advice to give!"

Squidward didn't know how to respond to that... Plankton was the only guy that he knew of that had a wife!

"I have no one else to turn to!" Squidward said in defeat, not sure on what he should do next.

"Just..." Plankton was actually starting to feel a bit guilty inside. His stomach churned. Or maybe that was because he just had 420 shots in less than 2 minutes. "Just spill the beans. I don't know if I can help unless you tell me what's going on." Wow. Plankton wasn't a complete and utter dick.

Squidward took another swig of Chum Rum and rubbed the top of his beautiful bald head. His kawaii desu eyes staring blankly at the table that is now covered in empty shot glasses, spilled chum rum, and dust.

"So, there is this new girl in town. (Y/N). She's my neighbor and she... kinda hates me..."

"You must've fucked up, bro."

"I did! That's the problem!" Squidward threw his tentacles in the air "and it was all Spongebob's fault!!"

"Squidward, get your shit together!" Plankton slapped him across the face, snapping Squidward out of his frenzy. "What. did. You. do?"

"I- I..." Squidward took a moment to breath. "I started yelling at her about Spongebob... but the thing is she really likes Spongebob. What if she has a crush on him? But, that's not the worst part. The worst part is I grabbed her wrist in anger and she got PISSED."

"....no..." Plankton murmured in disbelief. "Bitch. You stoopid."

Squidward looked down at the table again and nodded, ashamed at what he had done.

"I know..." He sniffled. "But I gotta make it up to her. I gotta win her over. What do I do?" Squidward was now full on sobbing. Plankton handed him a cell sized chum tissue. The sexy squid took it thankfully and dabbed his eyes... but the tissue was shit and didn't do anything. If anything, it irritated his eye more. Now he looked like he was on weed. Great.

Plankton tapped his Chum Rum covered chin. "Hmmm. That's quite the situation you got yourself into buddy, damn." Suddenly, a cartoon light bulb appeared over his head like you see in cartoons because they are a cartoon. Duh. "... So, Spongebob is your main issue here right?"

"...kinda? It was mainly my fault."

"Well, of course it was because you're obviously a fucking idiot. But you lashed out because of Spongebob, right? And she clearly likes Spongebob more."

"I mean, I guess so. But what does this have to do with anything?"

Plankton smiled nefariously. "I'm guessing you were shit talking Spongebob to (Y/N) as well?"

"JUST GET TO THE POINT!"

"Okay, okay, calm down, homie!" Plankton waved his arms frantically in defense. "You're going to have to apologize, but that's not gonna look good on it's own. I say we make Spongebob look bad. Evil. Like he's a fucked up dude. And this is the best part, you'll look like an angel compared to him and BAM she's all over you again!"

"Do you really think that will work?" Squidward asked. Plankton is his only hope so it's all or nothing right now in this dude's fucked up head. "How do we get Spongebob to seem evil?! The kid is the most annoyingly kindest person in the sea!!"

"I can't tell you that. We gotta make a deal first." He looked down at his fingernail to look all cool and badass.

"What kind of deal...?" Honestly, at this point, Squidward would do anything if it means that he will get (Y/N) to like him again. Love him, even.

"I'll help you if you help me. I scratch your back, you scratch mine type deal."

"So what is it exactly that you want? The Krabby Patty Secret Formula?"

"B-I-N-G-O!" Plankton did finger guns with the 'pew pew' sound. "You get me that formula and I'll make Spongebob look so bad his mother will die just thinking about how she gave birth to him. Maybe I can get him fired from the Krusty Krab too. Everyone will despise him."

"I will never understand why you want to know what's in that garbage Mr. Krabs calls food but if it means I can find love.... It's worth it." Squidward held out his tentacle to shake and agree to the deal.

"You have a deal, Sheldon."

Karen laughed her computer ass off anytime someone said Plankton's first name (she was eavesdropping of course) it's kind of a kink of hers, just roll with it.

Plankton shook Squidward's gross, sweaty hand to seal the deal.