Tentacles Entangled (Squidward x Reader)

Kum and Kinky

Plankton's whole body shook. No. It couldn't be true. The formula he longed for. The formula he spent Y E A R S ruining his reputation and his life to get his grubby mits on it was... this??? WHY? HOW? He could've gotten is doctorate 50 times in the amount of time it took him to find out what this goddamn secret ingredient was. And he couldn't use it. He could never use what Eugene put in his fucking food. He wanted his restaurant to take off, but not that badly. He had respect for the sea creatures of Bikini Bottom, unlike that decapoda slut.

He only managed to say one thing. "You work for this homo? Do you value yourself at all?"

Squidward grunted. "How was I supposed to know what he put in the patties! I just take people's orders, go home and wish I was dead. That's it!"

"WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE DONE YOUR RESEARCH BECAUSE I DOUBT THIS IS EVEN LEGAL!!!!!"

"EXCUSE ME?!" Squidward flicked Plankton off his shoulder. "Like working for a company who does illegal shit is worse than all the things you've done! Remember the 2004 Spongebob movie?"

Plankton laid silent on the ground. How dare that fool bring that up. "You motherfucking bitch."

The room fell into silence until Squidward spoke up once again.

"I guess the only thing to do now is throw away the evidence if I want to save my own juicy squid ass. I can't bring my clarinet to prison with me."

Plankton agreed and carefully put the secret formula in his back pocket to discard of it later. His tiny stubs quivered just thinking about the disturbing truth that he just read! He planned on taking it to Karen to discuss the best plan to rid of this formula so it could never be found again.

Squidward closed the safe and, with loud suction cup sounds coming from his tentacles as he walked, started to head home.

Plankton was going through a Vietnam flashback because of the nasty shit he read so now he quiet. But one question was buzzing in his head. "How many times did Eugene have to cum for each Krabby Patty?"

God... so many fish people had eaten his Krab Kum without their knowledge.

Bombs. Planes. War. Death. It was all happening again in Sheldon's mind.

Plankton sobbed into Squidward's cute shirt collar (because he was magically back on his shoulder now, don't ask).

Squidward was too dead on the inside to care about his partner in crime crying like a little bitch so he kept moving forward towards his house. He locked the Krusty Krab main glass door behind the two of them and stuffed the keys back into his ass (he doesn't wear pants, duh! Where else would he put them?).

"Ya know, Plankton. Don't think our deal is over just because you have no use for the formula. That isn't my problem."

Plankton stopped weeping because he needed to stop being a little pussy, not that pussies are bad, feminism 2k19. "Fine. But after I take down Spongebob and win over your lover, you're gonna have to help me beat the shit outta Eugene."

"Whatever."

__________________________________________________________________________________

(Y/N) held Spongebob's hand in her own as they walked slowly back to her home together. Their date had gone so well... and it was so much better than she expected. Sure, his laugh was a major turn off, but his eyes had won her back over. His sense of humor, his positive upbeat attitude with everything, and his sexy square body she wanted to fondle so badly. Oh how she longed to rip his tie off and just-

"(Y/N), I had a great time tonight with you! Thank you so much for being my sweet date tonight!" Spongebob said with his bucktooth smile.

"No, I should thank you Spongebob! You're the one who invited me out in the first place." The two walked up to her front door and stopped in front of it, awkward silence sinking into the atmosphere.

Spongebob smiled to himself and twisted a small hole into the sand with one of his shoes, waiting on (Y/N) to make a move. He knew all too well he had manipulated her into loving him. Perfect. Everything was falling into place so easily. After this date he would have all the info he needed to take her down, he just needed to know a little more. Just do one more thing.

"Hey so Spongebob...? Um.. Would you- would you want to come inside for some Diet Dr. Kelp or tea or something? I mean, I understand if your busy or you don't want to because I know you have work tomorrow and-"

"Shhhh." Spongebob placed a spongy finger to her lips. "I would love too, (Y/N).

A deep scarlet blush washed over her (f/c) scales. "O-okay. C-cool." She opened the door, the two of them entering in unison.

"I'll go get the tea ready. Do you want Earl Grey or is Chinese Breakfast more of your taste. I also have Green."

"Oh... I don't need tea, (Y/N)." Spongebob said seductively, closing in on her. She started to blush more.

"What? Then why- then why did you come inside?" It was hard for her to even manage words. Was he doing what she thought he was doing? (Y/N) didn't think he was even capable of being seductive!!

He bit his bottom lip. "I want you." He traced the seam of her dress.

(Y/N) had no idea what to do. She was in a bit of a shock. No man had ever had an interest in her, not to this point at least. Was he being for real... or was he just being a minecraft troll?

She blushed more than a japanese school girl. She avoided eye contact with Spongebob, unable to really comprehend what he was suggesting. Is she ready? Is this right? Should she even care at all and just.... give in? She just met him yesterday!!

"S-Spongebob... you- you aren't serious are you? I mean... why me?"

"(Y/N)..." He placed a hand on her cheek. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. I know you feel it too. It's undeniable. Let's just forget the world and have it just be us for the night. What do you say?" He gave a reassuring smile and held out his hand to her.

(Y/N) didn't respond, instead she took his hand and led him to her bedroom, shutting the door behind.

Nothing more was said that night.