Tentacles Entangled (Squidward x Reader)

Enamel Sans Pin and "Et tu brute"

(Y/N) began to brew her daily cup of coffee. It was the next morning after her dinner '''date''' with Squidward and she had barely slept a wink last night. What happened last night was haunting her. It was all she thought about. The look on Squidward's face when she told him off like a badass feminist. How she could hear his heart shattering when she told him for the millionth time they would never be a thing. The way tears welled up in his eyes when she told him she had feelings for Plankton (despite him being married cuz fuck it).

She couldn't stop thinking about how pissed she was he was so much of a pussy.

He needed to grow a pair.

(Y/N) wanted to continue being his friend so badly, he was her neighbor after all, but how would that be possible if all he did was try to win her over and then cry like a puppy whose ass got beat when she denied him.

....Maybe she should just break off the friendship all together?

She didn't want to, but she just couldn't stand the position he was putting her in all the damn time! Why couldn't he just chill the flip out?

An idea flashed in her head. Maybe she could ask Spongebob for advice! She never had issues with him.

She grabbed her conch shell telephone and dialed his number (even though he's just right fucking next door). Spongebob picked up after the first ring, as if he was expecting a call.

"Hellooooooooo?" Spongebob sang into the phone.

"Hey, Spongebob..." (Y/N) said as she then frowned to herself, twisting her (h/c) hair with her fin finger.

"Is something the matter?" Her yellow friend asked her, concerned.

"I- I know it's early, but something's on my mind and I was wondering if you would be willing to come over and chat. I'm making coffee!"

Spongebob grinned to himself on the other end, pure evil sparking in his eyes. This was perfect. "Why, I would love too, (Y/N)! Let me feed Gary and then I'll be right over, BAHAHAHAHAHHA!" He hung up the shell phone, turning to Gary. "Looks like Daddy Bob has some work to do."

Gary had a plain ass expression like he normally does, meowed, and left the room, leaving a slime trail behind.

Spongeboob grabbed his purse with an enamel Sans pin on the side and slipped a knife into it the pocket, leaving his home quickly after. Gary never got his food. UmU.

(Y/N) with nothing else to do, sat on her couch sipping her coffee and waited patiently for her dear friend to arrive. Just as she was about to throw a bitch fit, a lovely knock met her ears. About damn time! Was he in the bathroom for 30 minutes cleaning up his period blood or some shit? Damn.

She opened the door for Spongebob, and greeted him with a smile. "Hey, Sponge. Come on in. I'll go grab you some coffee."

(Y/N) took notice of his purse. She had never seen him wear it before, but it was snazzy so she wasn't complaining.

"Make sure you add cream and sugar, pretty please!" Boob giggled as he sat on the couch, placing his purse right beside him making sure it was easily accessible when the time came.

She did what he said like the submissive bitch she was and carefully gave Spongebob the cup full of coffee. And a spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down.

Spongebob gratefully took the coffee from (Y/N) with a smile. "Thank you, (Y/N). So what did you want to talk about?"

She scratched the back of her head, as you do in movies and shit, and sighed. "I'm sorry about dragging you into this but it's about Squidward. I don't know who else to talk too. I considered speaking to Plankton but I just... didn't think that was the best idea. You're good at keeping secrets."

Spongebob frowned. Was she going to confess her love for Squidward to him? Maybe he would use the knife sooner in the conversation than he first assumed. Squidward already loved (Y/N) but God forbid she loves him back all of a sudden.

"Tell me more." Was all that Spongebob said. His eyes never leaving (Y/N)'s face as he calmly moved his hand closer to his purse without raising any sort of suspicion.

(Y/N) noticed the dark shift in his tone but continued on anyway. It probably was all just in her head. "Squidward loves me, as you know, and it's starting to really get to me. No matter how many times I tell him off he just can't get it through his thick skull that he'll never end up with a sexy ass mother fucker like me. I just don't like him like that..."

Spongebob stopped his hand moving toward the purse. "You don't like him?"

"Hell no. But he's not getting the message. I'm... I'm considering just breaking off our friendship completely if that's what it takes. I'm hurting him and he's hurting me."

"Oh dear... That does seem confusing but what do you want me to do about it?" The sponge asked in his pleasant tone of voice.

She shrugged. "I dunno. I just needed to rant. I guess I just need advice. What do you think I should do?"

He tapped his chin in thought. "Hmmm... well I suppose you being around him won't help him get over you."

That wasn't the answer (Y/N) wanted to here, but at least Spongebob was being dead honest. She knew that's what had to be done. "I was afraid that was what you were going to say. I thought that as well but I didn't want to admit it. It's going to be hard avoiding him after breaking off the friendship with him though, I am his neighbor."

"Oh! I have a solution for that!"

(Y/N)'s eyes widened. "Really? What is it?! I will need all the help I can get."

He pulled out the knife from his purse. "You'll need more than help, sweety."

(Y/N) couldn't manage any words before the knife plunged into her stomach.

She didn't feel pain, only confusion. Her eyes began to grow heavy and she started to fall slowly to the ground, her eyes still watching Spongebob.

He smiled devilishly before everything went dark.