Tentacles Entangled (Squidward x Reader)

It's A Date

Squidward's teary eyes gazed down at the rusted cashier below him. It had been 9 months. 9 months since he had seen (Y/N). After his therapy session 6 months ago, he was set on finding her. He went on all of her social media accounts but they were all dead. That bitch was probably off-road, living a therapeutic nature life or some shit while he was about to cry in the Krusty Krab over wanting to fuck her so badly. In a respectful way, of course. Squidward is a feminist icon.

Speaking of her social media accounts being dead, it seemed Plankton was too. He was the new "boss" of the Krusty Krab since the *cough* incident. But he hasn't shown up for 9 months either. Because he was small he was easy to forget about, but Plankton was his friend, aka his free therapist, but damn... he missed the little green penis bastard.

Where was everybody? He was in hell, stuck alone with-

"Hiya, Squidward!"

Squidward sighed in annoyance as usual when he heard that perky voice behind him every damn fucking cursed day.

"What?" He said sharply. The sexy man was in no mood for shenanigans.

"What are you doing tonight?" Spongebob said as he leaned his body over the window, closer to Squidward's shiny bald head.

"Sulking in my bedroom and masturbating while thinking about homicide and (Y/N). Separately."

"(Y/N)...?" Spongebob asked innocently but his little hands began to claw at the side of the window frame that he was still leaning over.

Squidward looked at him with sharp and pure hatred. "Yeah, (Y/N). The only hot mama I could tolerate in this godforsaken town. And you know what? Now I'm stuck with you and every day I'm closer to ending myself. But I keep going at the thought of my next orgasm!"

Spongebob made this face: :|

Then silently crawled his way back into the kitchen without another word.

After all these months, all the pain he went through having to take care of (Y/N) in his filthy basement, it was still all for nothing! He was making no progress with Squidward. His baby was about to be born soon so he needed to start getting somewhere with his future lover soon. But what to do...?

Anger was fuming inside the little sponge but he had to compose himself... for love... for Squidward. In order to have Squidward, he couldn't let his cover be blown.

Spongebob left his station and walked out of the large door to greet his grieving friend.

"Hey Squid, I know you're sad about (Y/N). She was my buddy too... but you have to move on..."

Spongebob laid his hand on his shoulder.

Squidward couldn't fucking believe it. Spongebob was actually having a mature conversation? Wack.

"It's not that simple, Spongebob..." Squidward muttered. "We weren't just buddies, we had a connection, ya know?"

Spongeboob gave a fake empathetic sigh. "I know." He paused. "And I know you hate me." Damn. That hurt to say. "But maybe you could come over for some tea tonight and we can talk about it. I know what's it like to grieve."

Now it was Squidward's turn to pause. "You do?"

"Yeah... after Patrick passed."

Oh, yeah. Squidward forgot about that obese seastar. How did he die? Diabetes or something? Or was it a boat crash? Squidward didn't give a shit. He threw a party while the funeral was going on. "Huh. Forgot about that. Tell ya what, Spongebob. I hate your fucking guts and I'll never be friends with you but I think I can deal with you for another hour tonight for tea. Only because you were close with (Y/N) too, even though I have no idea why she fucking liked you but whatever, you little bitch."

Spongebob smiled. "It's a date. 6:00 o'clock.

"A date?"

Spongebob didn't respond as he re-entered the kitchen.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

In the basement

(Y/N) held the bloodied baby in her arms, umbilical cord still attached.

Plankton was a huge help during the delivery. Despite having a small brain, he was pretty smart and knew exactly what to do for reasons he didn't want to admit. He told her what to do and when.

The baby was healthy. Plump. And a wittle baby boy. He was ugly as fuck but who cares.

(Y/N) took whatever cloth she could find that was sanitary enough and swaddled her newborn in it. Cradling him asleep. She was exhausted.

"(Y/N)..." Plankton murmured.

"The fuck you want? I have an ugly baby in my arms."

"Have you... looked closely at your baby yet?"

The hell was that supposed to mean? (Y/N) glanced at her baby but didn't last for long due to the high ugly meter, but she forced herself too. That's when it hit her. The baby was a horrid mix of her and Squidward.

"Your love for Squidward overpowered Spongebob's genetics."

(Y/N) smiled. Squidward was her true love and she had his horrid spawn in her arms. She kissed it's forehead.