Last Chance [Jung Hoseok]

Chapter 6

Jisoo POV

I lay in bed, my mind racing. I can't believe the show starts filming tomorrow. I've been training so hard, but I still don't feel ready. I can tell Ms. Cha is worried for me too, even though she never said anything out loud. It took me a while to learn how to hide my pain from her, but I think she still knows.

She says that I can do the choreography now but my textures are still bad. Dance is nothing without the textures; it doesn't carry any emotion, strength or energy. I used to be really good with textures, but I can't seem to do it anymore. 

My mind is always too clouded with pain to focus on anything more than getting the moves right. I just need to get better at ignoring the pain...

*****

As the car rolls to a stop, I start to feel light headed.

"Ms. Cha, I'm not ready. I change my mind. Let's go home," I mumble, starting to panic.

"You'll never feel ready for something like this. But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. If you don't go, you'll regret it." I sigh, knowing she is right. I press the heels of my hands into my eyes, willing my headache to go away.

"I am sorry if I bring you shame," I whisper. Deep down, this is one of my biggest fears.

"Don't be ridiculous girl. I don't care if you place last and get eliminated right away. I am so proud of you. I only care about the effort you put in, not how well you do. And I know you will push yourself to the limit, even if your body needs rest."

Her words make my eyes water. I pull her into a hug as my tears start to fall.

"Thank you so much for everything you have done. I - I don't know where I would be right now if it weren't for you..."

"You're welcome dear, now get out of the car." I nod against her shoulder before pulling back to wipe the tears away.

I get out of the car and grab my bag from the back. I don't have much, just a few clothes that Ms. Cha gave me when I moved in with her.

As I watch the car pull away, I suddenly feel very alone. I turn around to look at the huge building behind me. I know I need to go inside, but my legs refuse to move. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It's going to be okay. You'll be okay.

I open my eyes and walk up the steps to the door. Once I walk in, a woman behind the desk greets me.

"Hello, are you here for Create 101?" I nod, shyly.

"Fantastic, what is your name?"

"Kim Jisoo."

"Alright Ms. Jisoo, here is your name tag. Please put it on across your stomach so that it is visible for the grade evaluation. Then you can drop off your bag right through those doors."

"Thank you." I say before putting on my name tag and scurrying away to the other room. It is already full of bags. I must be one of the last people to get here.

There is another woman there to help me check my bag in and she tells me how to get backstage. Every step I take fills me with more nervousness.

When I get backstage, I am told to stand with the other independent trainees as we will walk in last. I look around, but I don't recognize anyone which means none of the girls from Ms. Cha's dance class got in sadly.

I guess I will have to find other people to make friends with. I turn to one of the girls next to me and introduce myself.

"Hello, I'm Kim Jisoo."

She looks me up and down with a look of disgust before scoffing, "Yah, don't talk to me fatty."

"Wow, okay. Sorry," I say, turning away. I am used to her type from school and I refuse to let her words hurt me. I'm not even that fat, am I? I walk up to another girl but she reacts in a similar way. After several more attempts, I have come to the conclusion that the independent trainees are all really mean.

I am about to give up on making friends for now when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I spin around to see a girl with her head bowed to me.

"Hi! I am Bae Chanri. Ignore the rest of the girls. They are just mean because they are scared," she says, straightening up. I bow back.

"I'm Kim Jisoo," I say smiling at her. I want to get to know her more, but one of the staff members is calling us over.

"Let the chaos begin," Chanri laughs as we walk to the entrance. Somehow I ended up at the front of the line, so I'll have to walk out first.

I am waiting for the signal to enter when I suddenly feel myself flying forward. I try to catch myself, but I hit the ground before I could do anything. I landed on my left hip, pain exploding through my body. My vision starts to blacken at the edges, and I'm worried I'm going to pass out from the pain.

I blink rapidly, trying to get everything under control. When I look up, I meet eyes with Chanri off stage, who is laughing. Oops she mouths at me before high fiving the girl I tried to talk to first. I feel a blush of embarrassment spread across my cheeks.

I can't believe I fell for her stupid act. Of course she didn't actually want to be my friend. No one ever wants to be my friend... I want to snap at her, say something to defend myself, but then I realize I am on stage now since I was pushed forward.

There are several cameras on me. My blush deepens, and I stand up as quickly as I can without causing more pain. Since all of the other trainees have already entered, most of the high ranked seats are taken but I don't care. I would have taken the closest seat anyways.

**This is what the stage and seats look like btw (yes it's from Produce 101)

I collapse onto the seat 91 and pray that my side stops hurting soon. I try to avoid everyone's eyes. I can't believe I fell down in front of everyone. What a great first impression. At least the coaches weren't here yet.

Once all the trainees are seated, we wait for the coaches to come in. I have my eyes closed, trying to focus on getting rid of the pain, but they fly open when I hear everyone cheering around me.

I look at the stage to see the coaches walking in. When I see Jung Hoseok walk in behind the rest, I start cheering with everyone else, pain momentarily forgotten. I can't believe it is actually him!

BTS was what made me want to dance in the first place. Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook (the dance line) were my role models. I spent so many nights learning their choreography before my injury. Their songs have also been one of the few things to make me happy whenever life especially sucked. I can't believe that I will be performing in front of Hoseok sunbae today, that I will get to work with him every day (until I get eliminated... :/ ). 

Once everyone settles down, the pain in my leg returns along with a new wave of nervousness. I have to perform within the next couple hours and I am in more pain than usual thanks to that two-faced bitch Chanri (excuse my language). What am I going to do?