Fixing Her

Chapter XIV

Even though I felt like my relationship with Landon got better for a few seconds, it fell back down to square number one the second I found out he's Noah's cousin. I haven't been able to look at him the same and I've just avoided him, something he mirrored. I wish we could have conversations like the ones I have with the other boys instead of being like this. Conversations where we talk and laugh and silence isn't an option, but we don't. We can't. We haven't exchanged a word ever since he dropped the bomb. I know everything about second chances and not assuming everyone to be the same, but I can't. I simply can't forget and ignore his relationship with Noah, even though he seems to not be a big fan of him.

I love their laugh, I really do. I love how easily they laugh and how happy they make me. I sometimes find myself smiling for a long time after I've talked to any of them, and it makes me forget Noah for a while. As always, he comes back, but they make it feel like I can maybe get over everything, without even knowing it. Their simple presence is enough, and that's probably the main reason I got my job at Linda's back.

I need the money so badly, and I don't dare go anywhere else. Noah's gonna find me there anyways, so running away from him at my job isn't an option. I can avoid him, however. I told Linda I can't take anymore late shifts, and my schedule is amazing now. I'm working four or five, six days a week, and I'm never opening, closing, or just being alone. The sixth day, Saturday, I work nine hours to somehow gain up to the short weekdays. Besides, I loved working with them. They taught me so much under such a short matter of time and I felt true bliss when I was with them, and I really wanted to go back to it.

I ignore the spot Noah put me in by just not looking at it, but it still pokes my mind every time I'm close to it. I try keeping my smile and continue to talk with the girls, but it's always there, always hunting me.

Parker forbid Landon and Dylan to go to the "station", but even though their visits there have been shorter and lesser, I am a living proof that they're there. Me and Dylan's bloody cotton balls in my trash that keep increasing.

Jordan and Mrs Fernandez have spent a lot more time at the house, which I like. I spend almost all my free time studying with Jordan in my room. We're just sitting there, at my desk, writing essays or solving math problems or naming kings. He's really smart. He doesn't get distracted from his work or bother and distract me, and he almost never asks anything about his homework, except when it comes to math and biology. Except that, he's all A's. To me at least.

It's incredible how much colder it's gotten during this month. People have taken on their longer jackets and coats, and many more are wearing gloves, hats or scarfs. The shops and restaurants are closing much earlier, resulting in me only working four hours, as the parlors and stands are seen more often and with many more customers. Either they're selling food such as hotdogs, tacos and mini pizzas, or they're selling hot chocolate and cookies and things like that.

It's been raining a lot too, but to be fair, Phoenix isn't famous for its sunshine. This, however, and the cold breezes and the darker sky, hasn't been an obstacle for the boys and their pool. That is, until the exams of Parker and Isaac started rolling in. They still spend much of their time in the water (at least after a few hours of studying), a drink in their hand and a pair of unnecessary sunglasses over their eyes, as I've been studying with Jordan, until even Jordan has given in for the hot and bubbly water two or three times.