Chapter 8 - If You Really Loved Me

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Rissa Pov.

"Jase, we need to talk," I say. I really don't want to break this peace and silence but I know that it's what is going through both our minds right now and I need to know what he's thinking.

He groans softly, "Do we really have to discuss it now, Ris?" I turn to face him and nod. "I don't want to either but we both know that we need to have this conversation. Something's troubling you Jase. I can see that." He opens his mouth to reply but I silence him with a pointed glare, "And don't try to hide it or make an excuse. I know you Jase and I know when something's not right."

He sighs but sits up nonetheless and I follow his lead. "So, you moving to Johannesburg. That's a little crazy isn't it?" he says in a monotonous voice with an unreadable expression. "Yeah. It's crazy, I didn't think that signing with Drew would include that. It's still an amazing opportunity though, " I say in reply. "You're still considering it then," he states.

"Of course I am! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me, Jase! I'd have to be an idiot to not even consider it!" That is true. This is my chance to live my dream. I need to think about this before I make my decision. "So you're going to leave me then," he says, so softly that I almost don't hear it at all. "Babe, I don't want to leave you but even if I do it's only for about a year, then I'll be back," I try to comfort him. He looks so down and sad about this. I mean, I am too but he looks worse.

"Until you have to leave again," he says. "Jase, I haven't even decided yet. There's still a lot of stuff I have to think about. My parents, the gang, living arrangements and it's our last year at university I can't just drop out!" I say, thinking aloud.

"And me? Am I not important enough to be on the list?" he questions softly. Of course he is! Jase will always be important to me. I grab his palm and squeeze it, "Jase, you're number 1 on the list. I love you! You and your opinions will always be important to me!"

"So if I told you not to go, you wouldn't?" he said a little louder, looking away from me. My hand drops his as I try to comprehend what's going on right now. "I'm sure I didn't hear you right. You aren't asking me to give up music, are you? To not even think about this amazing offer?" I ask in shock.

"Why do you sound so shocked about it? I just want to keep us together. You know what's going to happen if you leave. And don't even try saying that you'll be back because we both know that once you go it's going to be the end of us!" he says louder and angrily. What does he mean! "The end of us? Jase, what are you talking about?" I ask bewildered. "You're going to go and fall in love, be it the place , the music industry or someone else, better than me! You promised that you'll never leave me! Why do you want to break that promise?" he says harshly.

"Why do you think that I'm going to fall for someone else, Jase! Don't you trust me! I love you Jase! I freaking love you! I'd never betray you like that! And as for falling in love? That's not going to happen! I love you and only you!" My voice raising as I get upset and angry. He looks at me before saying in cold, harsh voice," You say that now, but it's going to happen. This is freaking history repeating itself! We're just going to end up hurting each other if we're so far away! Just like how it was for Tay-shit! " he cut himself. He eyes going wide as he gets up of the bed and walks to the window.

History repeating itself? What is he talking about? Tay? "What are you talking about Jason? How the hell is history repeating itself?" I question. "It's not important. Forget I said that, it doesn't matter right now. What matters is that you want leave me just like you promised me 5 years ago that you wouldn't!" he shouts at me.

I'm taken aback. Sure we've had our fights before but he has never raised his voice at me."You know how much music means to me! You can't just expect me to give it up! Also are you forgetting that it was you who sent the video to AJ? THAT IT WAS YOU WHO PUSHED ME TO FOLLOW MY DREAM AND SING! AND NOW WHEN I HAVE THAT CHANCE YOU WANT ME TO GIVE IT UP?"

"SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO GIVE UP MUSIC BUT YOU'RE WILLING TO GIVE ME UP!? YOU'RE CHOOSING MUSIC OVER ME! " he shouts back. No! I'm not choosing anything! Why the hell does there have to be a choice! We need to stop this before we say something else that we regret. I have a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm myself down before getting up.

"Jason, I'm not choosing anything over anyone! Why are you overreacting like this?" I ask. "Because I know how it feels to be second choice. I know that once you go and make it in the industry that's what I'll be. Always second freaking choice until I'm finally forgotten! If you really loved me then you wouldn't even be considering leaving me and taking this stupid offer! How do even know that you're going to make it? That you're not just going to be giving everything up and wasting your time for a stupid failed dream!" His voice is sharp and cold and his words feel like a knife stabbing me. Is that how he really feels? That my dream to be a singer is stupid? That I'm just going to fail? Does he really think that I can't do it?

I feel a tear drop from my closed eyes and I reach for my phone and keys. "You can think whatever you want, Jason, about how I'm the bad one here for dreaming about my "stupid" dream but if you really love me like you say you do then you would never make me choose between my dream and you!"

I turn around and will the tears to stay at bay as I walk out of the room, down the stairs, out the door and away from Jason.

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Hey guys!

Oh no! Rissa and Jase are fighting!

Hope you guys enjoyed! Please vote and comment, I'd love to know what you guys think.

Who's side are you on? Rissa, Jase or both of them?

As usual, see you guys next Monday with the next chapter!

Love you guys!

LSMusicLover 💜

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