Cold

Chapter 20

"Sam! This is serious! You could be hurt! Oh god!—" I block him off as I try to think whether or not that I should tell him that I'm...well was a virgin. Nah...I don't think I should. He doesn't need to know that. Right?

Just tell him and get it over with. My damn brain tells me as I silently agree with her... or myself? I don't know. But I guess I have to tell him now.

"Um...Gav..."

"Sam. Don't worry. You'll be okay. There's an obvious explanation for this." He tries to think of something and I know that it's now for never.

"Gav. There's something you should know." He looks up at me with worried eyes. Sighing, I had to look away. I needed to. His brown eyes were practically begging me to spill all my secrets to him.

Biting my upper lip, I look him dead in the eyes. "I'm...well was a v-virgin..."

I swear I saw a smile break out on his face he quickly tries to hide it with a smirk. Feeling my cheeks heating up, I try to think about something else. Do something else.

That's when the thought of my damn blood running down my legs hits me and I quickly move away from him to go grab the soap and shampoo I left outside of the shower.

Taking my stuff, I hop back into the shower and quickly pour the soap onto my sponge and start to scrub at my legs.

That's when I hear the shower curtain open and close. Leaving me completely alone. In seconds, I hear the him take his clothes and walk out of the showers.

Leaving me completely alone in the showers. I could feel tears form in my eyes as I didn't want to leave them there.

I should cry.

I deserve this.

I deserve to cry and be left alone.

I'm officially a slut.

Another one of his girls that he does and leaves.

How could I think that I was any different from those other girls?

I was the same.

I will always be the same.

Always...

That's when the tears slip. Quietly crying in the shower, I wash my body and hair...twice.

I don't want any Gavin left on me.

He hurt me once, then twice, and now a third time. Why do I keep on doing this to myself? Shouldn't I have learnt after the first time!

Sighing, I close the water and wipe the tears that ran down my cheeks. Breathing in, I open the curtain and step out while wrapping a towel around my body.

Looking around the room, I slowly make my way towards the locker rooms to see if Gavin is there. Taking a deep breath, I swing the door open and am met with the cold air of the other room.

Just as I predicted, he isn't here. He must have left when I was still in the shower. I can't believe it. Right after I tell him that I was a virgin he leaves me. Shitty thing on my part because he was my first but leave right after the girl told you?

That's just plain wrong! He knows I have feelings too and yet he walks out on me. AGAIN!

Anger bubbles up inside of me as I head back towards the counter to get changed.

***

Once I'm dried and changed, my body take control as my mind drifts off to all kinds of reasons for why Gavin left me alone in the locker room. Before I know it, I'm walking into my math class with tears running down my cheeks.

Everyone stops what they're doing and all look over to me. Including my teacher. Peter, Angelica and Sasha are the first by my side as they pull me out of class and close the door behind them.

"Sam. What happened?!" Peter asks in a frantic voice as he looks at me.

A sob leaves my lips as words couldn't form.

"Was it Gavin?" Angelica asks me in a soft voice with sorrow in her dark green eyes. That only seems to make me cry harder as I nod my head repeatedly.

"Do you want to tell us what happened?" Angelica asks in a soft voice again.

This time I answer her. But I only want to tell one person what happened. I need her to tell me everything will be okay even if it's not. "I need to talk to Veronika."

Without another word, I head over to the English wing where my cousin's class is. Practically running down the hallway. Our floor is like a rectangle. So, turning right twice and head to the first class room door was easy for me to remember her class room is.

Knocking on the door, music fills my ears as I give the English teacher a small smile. Looking over to the students, they're all looking at me with wide eyes as my cousin stands up in the back of the class and hurries over towards me. I spot Bailey, Rachel and Melissa with her.

"I need to talk to you." I mumble as she nods her head and tells her teacher that she'll be right back.

She asks me a bunch of questions but I ignore her and head towards the cafeteria. Once there, I take a seat at one of the tables and she follows me.

"Okay. Spill." She demands as she leans over the table.

Sighing, I tell her everything. Every moment and detail from what happened at lunch until what happened moments ago.

I told her everything and all she wanted to do was back hand slap me for giving up my virginity to Gavin. So, that's exactly what she did. I got a back-hand slap to the side of the head from Veronika as she started to swear in Italian to me.

"How could you trust him again?! I told you—did I not tell you that he was trouble?! I told you repeatedly and you still go back to him! Sam! When are you going to understand that he just uses girls!" She scowls at me as she continues to tell me how stupid I acted.

After a while, I had enough. Slamming my hands down on the table, I yell at her. Loud enough to make her flinch and scary enough to shut her up.

"WOULD YOU STOP YELLING AT ME AND TELLING ME WHAT I DID WRONG! I KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG! I DON'T NEED YOU TO REMIND ME WHAT I SHOULD AND SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE! IT'S OVER! IT HAPPENED! WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?! THAT'S WHAT I NEEDED YOU TO DO! I NEEDED YOU TO TELL ME THAT EVERYTHING WOULD BE OKAY AND THAT WE WOULD FIND A SOLUTION BUT INSTEAD YOU TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD AND TELL ME THAT I SHOULD HAVE ACTED RESPONSIBLY. BUT YOU AREN'T ANY BETTER!"

"What's that supposed to mean?!" She growls at me as she stands up also.

"Should I remind you of what happened between you and Adamo during summer break?!"

She scoffs, "Nothing happened."

"Sure! Nothing happened. So, you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom at Luca's beach house party?!"

Veronika's face turns white as she looks at me with a blank expression. "That's n—"

"Not true? I don't believe so babe! Because it is. I saw you with my own damn eyes when I was trying to find you! To take YOU home before anything stupid could happen! But something stupid already did happen and UGH!"

Pulling a face of discussed, my glare hardens at her. "Let's just say, you got lucky when I came in saying your mom was on the phone wanting to talk to you. And you're lucky that I walked in when I did. Because knowing him, he had you in that bathtub way before I got there."

"Sam..."

"No. Don't. I thought out of everyone, you would understand. Tell me its alright but instead you pull this shit on me and expect me to just take it. Well, I'm not." Beginning to walk away, I hear her say something that makes me stop.

"You're right."