Letters to my Ex

Letter 10

Dear ex,

I saw you graduate today. You wore a light blue button up shirt that complemented your blue eyes and you had gotten a hair cut. I saw your parents grinning in the stands and your older sister was there too. But today I didn't come to see you graduate, I came to see Matt only because he's a great friend and he's Stacey's boyfriend.

Stacey said she doesn't want Matt to graduate. And I know how she feels. When we were together, I didn't want you to be gone. What was I supposed to do with myself when I was bored on campus and you'd be working away in some office job?

But I'm kind of glad that you're leaving. Like, "congrats you graduated!" But now that I won't see you on campus, I won't have to worry about avoiding you in corridors or at the local stores. I'll have the memories but I won't have you.

Your face won't be the first thing I look for on campus now and between girl gossip, you're old news. They're talking about the new freshman who's from California and his eight pack that Gabbi saw one day when he was training at the lacrosse fields.

Your sparkly blue eyes won't be stuck in my dreams. Your laugh won't be murmurs in my ears while I sitting in class, trying to focus in on what the teachers saying when all I can hear is you. I won't search for your splash of blonde hair or your bright grin in a crowd of people. I won't have to worry about going to games and watching you play.

Those are the pros of you leaving.

The cons would be that your cologne will be a distant memory. I will still picture your annoyingly perfect face in my dreams and night mares. I'll miss the way your arms used to wrap around my waist and settle on my lower back when you would embrace my in a hug. I will miss the fiery desire of having your skin touch mine. I'll miss the morning kisses that always turned into something more. I'll miss the feeling of safety when we snuggled together in bed while silently lying next to each other, listening to the echoes of the the busy streets of New York.

I'll miss a lot of things but I think the one I'll miss the most is the way you say "I love you."