Artificial(ish) Intelligence

Chapter 24

Will breathed out. Heavily. If it wasn't enough that he'd had to non-sit when quickly fleeing the House of Paschar factory, he'd now non-sat all the way to AutomatIO. At least now he knew what it was like to take part in a marathon.

The selfiebot bounced lightly against a small box in front of the large metal gate. Nothing happened, so it fluttered back. "Press the button, Will."

"The what?" said Will, barely paying it any attention.

"For the intercom."

Will breathed heavily, again for emphasis, and eventually paid the required attention to acquiesce. Up to twenty cents with inflation.

An ambulance rushed by.

"Ominous," he said.

The selfiebot hovered in a strange pattern, as if it were bouncing up and down, like it couldn't adequately control its energy levels. "Press it again," she said. "Hold it down and I'll speak."

He did.

"Hello?" she said. "I need to talk to Josef Hydan Junior."

No response. Will paid the twenty five cents and let go.

"Try again," said the selfiebot. "I can't wait to get back into my own body, with real fingers."

Upon hearing this, Will's mind had certain types of thoughts. Nothing I can repeat in polite company. Or even yours. He was pestered into holding the button down once more.

"I can set up a meeting if this is a bad time?" said the selfiebot.

The response was a very long, intense, disturbing silence.

"Why won't they answer?" said the selfiebot, now forming infinity symbols with her movement.

"It's a tech company," said Will, with a shrug.

When it was clear the selfiebot didn't understand, he sighed and expanded his answer.

"Paige is always complaining that they lock themselves away and make it impossible to contact. If you have a problem, they want you to just solve it yourself."

"That's outrageous," said the selfiebot. "What have you done about it?"

"Done about it?" said Will. What a strange question, he thought.

"Do they have any numbers to call?"

Will stared at the bot. What part about tech company didn't it understand?

"What's that over there?" said the selfiebot.

"What?" said Will. "Where?"

"That. There."

"I can't see anything," said Will. "Point to it."

"Very funny, Will."

To help them out, I've placed a bright yellow circle around the sensor the selfiebot was figuratively pointing to.

"It'll automatically open for anyone on the inside," said the selfiebot.

"That helps us," said Will. He'd learned a lot about sarcasm via osmosis with Paige, but was still only at an intermediate level.

"You forget," said the selfiebot, "I can fly."

And that's what it did, over the fence, landing directly in line with the sensor.

Will stood back just as nothing happened. "I don't think you register," he said.

The selfiebot hovered in random patterns, creating abstract shapes with her path. When the gate still didn't open, she fluttered her wings in faster and then slower movements. Still nothing. Dejected, she returned to Will's side of the gate. "I can't believe I'm stuck in this useless body."