Artificial(ish) Intelligence

Chapter 140

Will's mind struggled to amalgamate the disparate memories. He heard a voice through the haze.

"Everyone take it slowly. It was a big explosion."

Who was that? It didn't sound like anyone in particular, but there was something familiar behind the words.

A few groans rushed to fill the empty aural space.

"Here, hold my hand," said Libbi, or someone sounding like Libbi. Was she helping Mathison up?

"Can you check on Marvin?"

Was that Paige?

The smoke began to clear, revealing tiny red carnation particulates falling like snow.

A defencebot sparked, its body sputtering to death.

"Is he OK?"

It was Paige. For a moment Will was back in his apartment, discussing tactics via the in-game chat system. It was a good feeling. Then he remembered the appended _AI to her name.

"I can't communicate with him," said Paige_AI.

"You mean Josef?" said Libbi.

"No, Marvin. He isn't answering back."

Libbi finally found Marvin's robotic head wedged through the wall. She tapped it. His eyes shifted side to side, letting reality settle on his mind.

"Cool," he said, still marvelling at the blast.

Paige_AI sighed in relief.

"Unlike some men," said Libbi, "your brain processes were thankfully stored in your head."

Will sensed movement.

"Oh-emm-gee, you're like sooo demented in red," said Barry White, his personality switched to the voice of a teenage girl. He'd managed to escape the majority of the blast by hiding behind Will. "Your hair's, like, totes demented."

Will dusted his head of carnation detritus and groaned to his feet. Still, he couldn't help but smile at the compliment. At least he assumed it was a compliment.

"That thing's just blowing smoke up your donkey , dude," said Paige_AI, immediately dampening his glee. "You might be described as demented, but not in that way."

"And yet I was," said Will, nose in the air. "What does that say?"

"That you're gullible? That you listen to the wrong people?"

"Hey, you had the chance to tell Josef to leave me alone, but instead you got him to zap me. Or try to."

"You mean you could have turned out like me?" said Paige_AI.

"Well, err," said Will, scrambling. "I just...you know..."

"Unlikely, dude."

This was a new voice. No, an old voice, the same he'd heard after waking up from the bomb blast. One he'd heard many times before that. And it was coming from the doorway.

Will performed a double-take. Actually, it was far closer to a quadruple-take but we haven't got time for that. Standing at the door, fringe dangling effortlessly across her eyes, was Paige. The real Paige. The human Paige.

"Nah, I was there to stop that," she said, blowing a strand of hair from her face. "You can't rely on a computer to remember everything."

"Paige, you're OK!" said Libbi, bouncing to her.

"And you're a cheerleader," said Paige.

"Will was so upset," said Libbi, "when he thought you'd..."

"Really?" said Paige, raising an eyebrow his way. But Will stood back. Paige turned to her digitised self. "You were right, we really are a kick-donkey team."

"It was much fun trying out new strats," said Paige_AI.

"We have to play some games together," said Paige.

"So cool!" said Marvin's half-crushed head.

"But what happened?" said Will, a strange mixture of confusion and morose. "I thought your body was..." He couldn't quite finish the sentence.

"Mathison!" said Libbi. "You added that copy setting before she was zapped by the brothers."

"Oh, well, erm yes," he said, fumbling with the bridge of his glasses.

"I just played dead," said Paige. "I did a dodgy job of holding my breath, but they didn't seem to question it -- I guess they had it in their mind that it was true, so they saw what they wanted to see."

"Cool!" said Marvin.

It was only now that Adelaide regained consciousness. Libbi rushed over to help her up.

Meanwhile, Will had floundered his way closer to the human Paige. "It's, you know, great to see you," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. Except it was more awkward than that, since his wrists were still cuffed.

"Thanks," said Paige.

"I missed you. But I already told you that."

"Nope," she said, with a smile.

"Oh," said Paige_AI, "that was to me, ya gooba. Not her."

"Ah," said Paige. "Makes sense."

"It does?" said Will.

"They're not the same person," said Mathison. "Not the same consciousness. They haven't been connected in any way since the separation, so they don't share any subsequent memories."

"Uh huh," said Will, pretending to understand.

"Did I get him?" said Adelaide, still bleary-eyed.

They all gathered over the crumpled body of Josef Hydan, his forehead connected to Briefcase' with wires.

"I'd say he got himself," said Paige_AI.

"Damn!" said Adelaide. "It doesn't count if I didn't do it myself."

"Whoa, hey, hang on," said Will. "That was me. Just before the explosion I quickly knocked the electrodes onto his head and flicked the switch to start the thingy, the transmigrate-y thingy."

He meant that Josef's consciousness had been copied as if by a multi-function black & white laser printer, housing a 1.2GHz processor, able to print A3 documents at 52ppm, at a resolution of 8,000 by 2,000 dpi, and an input tray that holds 1,000 sheets. And that he was responsible.

"I pretty much saved us all," continued Will.

"Really?" said Paige, utilising her patented incredulity.

"Don't you worry boys and girls," said Barry White, now in advertising mode, "I've been a-streamin' the whole shebang. I'll just project the relevant snippet of the event as it unfolded and we can exactly how--"

"Oh no," said Will, hands outstretched over Barry White's projector. "No, no. That's a-- We don't have to waste time on that."

"The most important point is that he can't harm anyone else," said Mathison, double-checking the contents of the device's local storage.

"It's so sad," said Libbi, standing over Briefcase'. "No one deserves to have their consciousness ripped from their bodies."

"After what he did to you?!" said Adelaide.

"Exactly," said Libbi. "I know how it feels. I just wish it could have turned out better."

They stood around, unsure what else to say.

"What do we do with him?" said Paige_AI.

"Nothing," said Will. "He was going to put me into that thing." He gestured toward Barry White with disdain.

"That's, like, totes pale," said Barry White.

"Hmmm," said Adelaide, in the style of someone with a plan.