Artificial(ish) Intelligence

Chapter 133

"What's taking so long?" hissed Josef.

"Getting there, grumble, grumble," said Paige_AI.

He leaned in close to the console. "This is a demonstration. It needs to run smoothly." His father was was smirking at him. He huffed and turned away. "So hurry up and catch them. You're meant to have the attributes of a cee-ee-oh, so do whatever it takes to get the job done or you'll get switched off for good. Got it?"

"If I was really the cee-ee-oh, I wouldn't have hired gooba brothers who spend more time fighting each other than taking orders," said Paige_AI.

Josef was about to get mad. This was beyond a joke. Could the day get any worse?

"It has a point," said Hydan.

"They have a certain ability to perform the nitty gritty," said Josef, turning abruptly, face to face with his father. "In any organisation you need complimentary skills, so that the whole is greater that the sum."

"I prefer competent people for important work," said Hydan. "At least, in my business."

"Of course," said Josef. "You've had the means to buy the best and brightest to do your dirty work. It isn't so easy for others."

"Still making excuses, I see," said Hydan. He shook his head, turning, tutting to himself. "You have to earn your stripes, junior. You don't learn anything if it's served on a plate. I tried, I really tried." He sighed and walked slowly toward Ms Glas' projection, ignoring a groggy Mathison slumped on the floor holding the back of his head, a briefcase at his feet. "I've been trying to teach you this your entire life, but you won't open your ears."

Josef stood in shock. It was the standard response to one of his father's calm tirades. Most infuriatingly, he was right, and there wasn't any rational way to counteract the argument. At least if the old man was wrong now and then he'd have a justification for ignoring his cruel words.

"He's such a disappointment," said Hydan, to Ms Glas' projection. "Such a disappointment." He returned to his place, but didn't sit down. "You know, I thought this would be wonderful Saturday afternoon entertainment, but to tell you the truth, I'm becoming a little tired of the whole affair."

"Shall we leave?" said the speaker in Ms Glas' selfiebot.

"No, no, wait," said Josef. "Wait. We haven't finished." His blinking had increased to supersonic speed. "Errrghhh! I need to-- You need to sit through it all. There's a great ending. You'll see. I just-- Let me find this selfiebot and finish the demonstration. Then we can talk about-- Your face. I can't wait to see your face." He laughed, a mixture of nervousness and manic energy.

He made his digital assistant contact the brothers, telling them not to listen to Paige_AI and to instead follow their noses. It took a while for Zerro to understand the phrase.

"Your job's gone, father," said Josef. "I've taken it away. We've developed-- I developed an artificial intelligence that-- It doesn't matter. I've automated your job away. Just like what you did to me. You can't compete. Isn't that what you told me? To just compete? I've taken that away from you. That's what it's all been about. I don't care about mass production, selling this rubbish. I just needed one sale. What do you think, now? Your face. I want to see your face."

Hydan raised an eyebrow at the projecting selfiebot.