Artificial(ish) Intelligence

Chapter 100

"This is easy," said Will. "Front gate open, front door open."

Still, there was something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Something he was forgetting.

"Ohhhh yeahhhh baby, I love the way your eyes shift like that."

That was the selfiebot. The new selfiebot. Libbi's replacement selfiebot which, unbeknownst to Will, continued to stream his every move. To save me typing selfiebot again I'm going to call it Barry. No, how about White? It circled Will, searching for the perfect angle as they made their way through the foyer of the Schuvantz building.

Will checked above for any snipers. It would be the perfect spot on any decent FPS map. But he could barely concentrate.

"Mmmm yeah..." said White. "That's it. Work it."

Will swatted the selfiebot away, but it avoided contact and instantly came back for more, like a sticky fly on a hot summer day.

"Umm," said Libbi, swivelling on the spot. "I'm not sure if it's..." She headed one way. Then backtracked. "Maybe..." She tried a different path. "Where would they put the mortuary?"

Images immediately flashed in Will's mind, stainless steel gurneys, blue under the UV light, smeared with blood. They were always smeared with blood in games, otherwise the room didn't serve its purpose. And they always had random cadavers you could sack for basic supplies. But where were they usually located? "The basement," he said. "We need to find a way down."

"Yeah we do!" said White. "Mmmmmm."

OK, I have to stop the story here and reassess these naming conventions. White is too similar to Will, and I don't want you to get confused. But on the other hand, this similarity might be fitting since they've obviously grown close so quickly and I can't imagine them becoming separated for any meaningful amount of time. How about I compromise and call the replacement selfiebot White Barry? Oh, OK, Barry White, then. Spoil sport.

"We need a signal," said Will. "So I can let you know when we want this thing to project, you know, what we just did."

It sounded mysterious. I'm intrigued, how about you?

"Something different," he continued, "that I wouldn't normally do."

"I don't think we need one," said Libbi. "Just tell it to--"

"I know, how about this?" He stopped and performed a gesture with his hand. For decency sake, I've blurred it. Although, if you squint your eyes really tight and lean in closer...

"Will!" said Libbi, outraged -- either at Will or my own delinquency.

"I don't normally do that," said Will, sheepishly. "Ooh! Ooh!"

He tried a series of other gestures. At first it seemed as thought he was re-trying the same lewd act. I naturally blurred the image immediately. But after raising his finger up twice, he aimed it down twice, then left, then right, then left, then right. He finished it up by forming a cross with two opposing fingers, before finally drawing a small circle.

"That's awfully convoluted," said Libbi, moving off again.

"It's the Konami Code," said Will, with a nod, as if agreeing.

The rogue selfiebot had pulled back to get a wider angle on the dance.

"Libbi," hissed Will. "Hey Libbi."

"Hm?" she said. It was more of a sound than a word.

"Get this thing to stop harassing me," he said, gesturing to Barry White.