Artificial(ish) Intelligence

Chapter 128

Will's wet eyes peered up. It sounded like laser-toting defencebots, but he wasn't in a state to fend them off. His body -- weak(er) and frail(er) -- was slumped on the carpeted floor. But even in this state it could have been called into action if he'd maintained the desire to fight, not against opponents but for life itself. His energy levels were like his chances at sex: low and only becoming worse over time.

"You look so, so sexy with those sad eyes," said Barry White, finding a high angle from which to record Will's descent into darkness.

Another bang emanated from above the ceiling, the duct flexing and contorting.

Will stared blankly at the carpeted floor, patterned with multi-coloured circles, the head of each not quite joining its own tail, as if from a child's hand. He wondered why you only noticed details like this when something terrible had happened, and promised himself to stop and smell the roses in the future.

"Like your comment on Marvin," said Paige_AI, "if you can't even eat to save yourself..."

"But this is different," said Will. "You couldn't do anything about it."

"I'm no Princess Peach," said Paige_AI. "I'm not helpless. I'm Princess Zelda, if anything."

"So I'm Link?" said Will, wiping his wet face.

"Err, no," said Paige_AI. "But check this out. I might not have a body, but I've got all these awesome powers."

"Really?" said Will, with a sniff. "Like what?"

"I can open and close doors. But not yours. Hm, not a great example. But I'm only just beginning to find the limits. You're the Princess Peach, not me."

But she wouldn't be a non-corporeal consciousness if that was the case, thought Will. OK, OK, his mind used a few simpler words, but still!

Meanwhile, Barry White searched for a better angle. Why was it bothering, particularly for a dead stream where...over a million people were watching?

Suddenly a metal plate crashed onto the carpet. Will slowly raised his eyes, his head following, until the attacker above was clear. A deliverybot, presumably lost in the catacombs of the Schuvantz building, wheeled one way, teetering over the edge of the air-conditioning vent, before turning and coming at it from another direction. It had ridden over the metal plate enough to cause it to fall, now desiring a safe way down.

How did Fivven climb up to the ceiling to get into this duct, I hear you ask. Don't worry about little details like that. Sure, he'd spent all that time collecting body parts to use as a ramp, and now seemed to have magically flown up into the air, but why are you badgering me about this? Don't you have something better to do? Fine, he saw the same grate Will's knee knocked against earlier, giving him another entry point into the defencebot network and, from there, rode up a nice soft incline until finding the vent over Josef's office. No, I didn't just make that up to satiate you. Be quiet and let me continue.

"At least I can help someone," said Will, slowly standing.

His mind momentarily switched to Libbi's unknown plight, sharing a small place in his mind with Paige. It was probably close to a 80-21 split, with the remainder focussed on the task of safely lowering the stray deliverybot. Once down, it almost burst out his arms and began pulling doughnuts, before screeching to a halt and opening its delivery capsule, exposing a few stray soggy noodles.

"Err, thanks," said Will.

The deliverybot danced back and forth, then inched forward, offering the scraps.

"I'm not really in the mood for food," said Will, looking over at the screen of Paige_AI. His recently discharged stomach wasn't even playing a part in discussions.

The bot bumped into him, then quickly reversed course as if knowing it had done the wrong thing.

"Fine," said Will, picking out a noodle string and slurping it up. "Mmm, nice," he said, exaggeratedly rubbing his stomach.

The deliverybot spun around once more, pulling wheel stands.

"Now, can you do me a favour?" said Will, as if talking to a little girl named Miranda.

The spins and rotations seemed to indicate a yes.

"I need you to go back up into the air conditioner and get help. OK? The police don't seem to care, but there's got to be others...Bobb's maybe?"

The deliverybot practically bounced in the air, almost tipping its opened food cannister.

Will only now noticed the delivery note offering a free replacement as apology for the delay. This was the same meal he'd ordered days ago in his apartment. His stomach involuntarily grumbled at the knowledge of more food on the way. But right now there wasn't any, just like-- "It's still happening," he said. "I heard them talk about it, how gamers are still being starved."

"Seems that way," said Paige_AI.

Will didn't know what to do. There were too many people who needed help, including himself. He stared at Paige_AI's screen. "Are you sure you're OK?" he said.

"I'm having a great time," said Paige_AI. "Josef Hydan's been using me to show off to his dad, to demonstrate what his system can do. I've been directing the brothers and, while I can, some defencebots. It's like Security Team Alpha, that game I showed you where you're the enemy and have to direct a bunch of low hit-point characters to beat the super-powerful intruder."

"Who's the intruder?" said Will.

"Libbi."

"What!? Why would you--"

"I didn't know who she was at first!" said Paige_AI. "But we're going to change it around. It's time to lose the game so we can win the war."