Artificial(ish) Intelligence

Chapter 38

Josef rushed up to the table, bathed in early morning sunlight. Hydan Sr shifted his gaze slowly, watching his son fumble at the chair and then fight for control with the unflappable maitre d'. Josef's chest heaved. He subconsciously pulled at his suit jacket, unsuccessfully hiding his muffin top, before wiping his brow.

"Hurry, hurry, hurry," said his digital assistant. "You're late."

"Thanks for nothing," hissed Josef. The delicate menu bulged within his harried hands.

Hydan sighed. "Look around," he said, at length. "What do you see?"

Josef's eyes darted at the fine curtains, the ornate fixtures, the antique tables sparsely spread. Then he examined the people, the youngest sexagenarians, finely dressed, modestly poised, their supreme confidence giving the old ballroom an intimate stuffiness.

His father liked to do this, ask a question that could have a million answers and then balefully chastise when the guessed response wasn't what he had in mind. It was one of his many mind games.

"Why don't you enlighten me?" said Josef, unwilling to play.

Hydan stared back for what seemed an eternity. He breathed out slowly, lowering his cup of tea. "Do any of these people seem to be a hurry?"

Josef began to look around. Then he stopped himself. His father expected this response, he was toying with him. Even by not playing the game he still lost. Josef knew the answer, anyway: of course they weren't in a hurry. These people had wealth. They didn't need to rush.

"Why do you always have to embarrass yourself?" said Hydan.

A waiter glided to the table, saving Josef from the expectation of a response. The young man was tight-lipped and straight-backed, expressing a confident but reserved tone. And he was a real life human being. The wealthy would always need human servants, thought Josef. How else would they feel superior?

"Venison," said Hydan, without sullying his vision by gazing upon the waiter.

Josef scanned the menu quickly.

"Shall I return?" said the waiter.

"No," said Hydan. "He'll have the venison, too."

"Very good," said the waiter, gliding away.

"So," said Hydan, slowly looking up, "I suppose I should ask what you've been up to."

"Did you see my appearance on Debate Fight Tonight?" said Josef, hopefully.

"I don't waste time watching that garbage," said his father. "There's work to be done. And unlike the ninety nine percent who don't lift a finger in this world, I'm prepared to do it."

"Of course," said Josef. "I agree wholeheartedly." Why was it every time he met his father he'd return to a snivelling nine year old?

"Real businessmen aren't seen or heard, at any rate, they blend into the background. Only narcissistic clowns draw attention to themselves."

"It's a new world," said Josef, attempting some bravery. "As the cee-ee-oh of an innovative start-up, my personal brand is just as important to the success of the company as anything else."

"Oh yes," said Hydan, his mouth moving as if he'd eaten five lemons, "your little play-thing."

"That little play-thing was a steal. Have you seen the creators of pitiful apps looking for angel investment? I had to over-pay for the other asset due to hype, and that's only with a mind toward vertical integration. Their valuations were ridiculous."

Hydan took a sip of tea. He licked his lips a few times. "What do you want, junior, a medal for digging into the bottom of the barrel? Only poor people look for cheap deals. Buy one, get one free?"