Artificial(ish) Intelligence

Chapter 65

Adelaide blocked the phone receiver. "I don't know when," she said, shooing away the annoyance. She hadn't had her morning coffee and this woman was testing her tenuous patience. It wasn't the time, and certainly wasn't the place. She cupped the microphone of the video chat wall and spoke into it conspiratorially. "Hurry up!"

"Ooh oooh," said Lem, Josef's digital assistant, "Sorry sorry. Mr Hydan will be with you. Yes he will. Shortly. Mmhm. Yup."

The other arrestee danced on her toes while waiting in line for the phone. "Come on, come on, come on," she said, rapidly tapping her index finger against her thumb.

Adelaide hissed and turned away, covering her free ear.

"Hydan," said Josef, curtly.

"Oh, Mr Hydan," said Adelaide.

The other woman's words interrupted the nascent conversation: "I really need to make a phone call. Really. It's urgent. It can't wait. My boyfriend's waiting for me. I mean it."

"Where are you?" said Josef.

"Err, it doesn't matt--" she started. "Thanks for taking the time to--"

"Get to the point," said Josef.

"Yes. Right. This is about the aye-eye, the one from House of Paschar. If you recall, we agreed to a deal and I'm working on securing the system as soon--"

"Securing?" said Josef. "As in, you don't have it?"

"I'm very close. I just need to--"

"I was under the impression it was in your possession."

"It was," said Adelaide.

The other arrestee pressed up close, clambering to hear the conversation.

Adelaide batted her away. "Err, that's not important," she said, to the phone. "I'll have it by the end of the day. I guarantee."

"Ah," said Josef. "But it's a brand new day. And you promised I'd have it last night."

"Well, I--"

"You can understand why I may not believe you, Ms Lovelace."

Adelaide gulped. It was all going wrong. This was not the first impression she had in mind. It was barely good enough for the eighth impression, and was certainly inadequate to secure a job offer.

"This is a mistake," said Josef. "Why wait around for a plan bee that will never arrive?"

"No," said Adelaide. "No no. Give me another chance."

"We're a startup," said Josef. "We can't sit back and enjoy the ride. Time is critical. Or was, before you failed me."

"Wait!" she said. "Just let me-- How are you?"

"What?" said Josef.

She fell back on instinct. If there was one thing important people liked to talk about, it was themselves. "It must be stressful, with it all moving at breakneck pace. You know, a man in your position."

"If there's no stress, you aren't pushing yourself hard enough," he said, with slightly more cordiality.

"Of course. And your, err, your family. Your daughter. How is she?"

"Ugh," said Josef, "don't remind me. I can't stand that girl and her vacuous parades masquerading as videos. If I had to watch more than one I'd need a lobotomy."

"A fate worse than death," said Adelaide.

He sniffed out a laugh.

It was working. They were connecting. She just needed to turn the subject subtly to Libbi.

He said something about a bot, but it was hard to hear with the other arrestee repeating her pleas for Adelaide to hurry. She pushed the woman off. "Away!" she hissed, through her teeth. Then returned to the phone. "It's good to have, though," she said, to Josef. "The selfiebot."

"Why would I care about that?"

"Just in case your plan aye doesn't pan out."

"What?" said Josef. "Look, Ms Lovelace...Adelaide. I don't need a selfiebot. Nobody does. They're weapons of self-flagellation, existing to stroke the egos of those who can barely string a meaningful thought together."

"Oh, not that," said Adelaide. "I'm referring to the aye-eye. You could still use it as a backup for when things--"

"What are you talking about?" said Josef. "You're making even less sense than my daughter."

"Not her selfiebot," said Adelaide. "The one with the aye-eye inside."

Silence. She couldn't read his facial expression and her heart rate shot up. Had she gone too hard? Appeared too shrill? You had to be more tactful as a woman. Going straight for the jugular only gave you nicknames that sounded like hull haiker. "Mr Hydan?" she tried.

"What do you mean by selfiebot?" His voice had lost any scraps of warmth. He seemed to stare into her.

"Well..." said Adelaide, suddenly unsure of herself. "It's a housing for the artificial intelligence code. The arr-n-dee wonks have a strange sense of humour. But there's nothing that would stop you extracting the important elements."

"Wait," said Josef. Followed by more silence. She could almost hear his brain ticking. It was much closer to a grandfather clock than a wristwatch.

"I assure you the artificial intelligence is very convincing," she said. "It thinks it's real -- a human, I mean -- with a name and all."

"And this name," said Josef, speaking slowly, "is it Libbi?"

"How did you know?" said Adelaide.

His blinking had increased to nervous levels. He shook out of it. "Stay where you are."

Adelaide looked around the grim confines of the jail. It wouldn't be too difficult. "Sure," she said, "but how did you--"

"I'll find someone who can actually capture this...selfiebot."