~Summer Lovin'~ \\ raegan beast

9.

Trigger warning: self harm

Rebecca's POV

Raegan and I sit facing each other on the couch. He looks very concerned and awkward, while i fiddle with my fingers and try to avoid eye contact.
"So..." Raegan starts.
"So..."I respond
"When we were down at the pool I noticed something. And I want to remind you that you can tell me anything, there is no judgement here. But I saw some marks on your right hip..." He says rambling on.

"Hey hey hey, I get it, your concerned, and I am very thankful for that. About a year ago I got to a very dark place in my life and self harm became my escape. I hate talking about it because I hate being pitied. You shouldn't have found out this way I'm sorry. But I'm 5 months clean so it's better now."

"First of all, there is nothing to be sorry for. Second, I am so proud of you for letting me know this part of you and for being clean." He says as he takes my hand up to his face and kisses them. I can't help it and start to tear up.

"Oh baby, don't cry. It's okay I'm right here."

"Rae, I'm not sad I'm happy! I finally have someone who cares about me completely."

We look at each other for awhile before this unbelievable urge to tell him all I'm feeling comes to me.

"Rae..." I half whisper.
"Hm"
" ... I love you"
He smirks, "I love you more"
I pull him in for a kiss and then we just lay with each other and cuddle for awhile. We take in everything about the other, all the things we love. I take this as an opportunity to open up completely to him. I tell him about my family life and how bad it was, and how that was the reason I moved to California. About my anxiety and the struggles I had with my weight. And it wasn't scary, I trust Raegan with all of my heart.
.....
We eventually untangle ourselves from each other and Raegan goes to shower while I start dinner. I'm bowling some water when Rae comes and hugs me from behind. I spin around and peck his lips.
"Hey babe, I have an idea."

"And what is that Raegan?"

"I was already going to film tonight soooooo, what if we film a video introducing you to my supporters?"

He must notice my hesitation because he quickly adds; "but we don't have to post it right away, we am wait until you are comfortable to put it up."

"No I don't want you to have to film two videos tonight,, what if we go live instead?" His pout quickly flips to a big smile. He hugs me and nuzzles his face into my neck.
"Bec this is why I fucking love you!!!!!" I giggle.
He goes to finish getting ready to film while I finish dinner and put it in the oven so it doesn't get cold.
I walk into my bedroom and he already has his laptop set up and open to Younow with a fresh Pepsi sitting on my dresser. He sees me standing in the door frame and smiles.

"Come here I'm just posting on my IG that I'm about to go live."

"Ok.." I must seemed a little reserved because he drops what he is doing and turns towards me.

"Bec, listen to me. They are going to absolutely love you, and if they don't then they aren't true supporters. And overall remember that they do not change anything between us. Okay babe?"
I look up at him and nod my head, still a little nervous. He pulls me in for a hug and rests his chin on my head. He looks back at the screen and kisses my forehead.

" Here hop up, I'm going to start it off and get a few people on and then I introduce you okay?"

"Sounds good" I Lean in and give him one more kiss. I sit on the ground catty corner to him and just admire the way he looks as he talks to his fans.

"Hey guyssss, I'm gonna wait for a few more people to join the stream before i introduce you guys to someone,,, How was y'alls day while we wait? "

user1099: oooohhh does Raegan have a girlfriend?!

user6718: this finna be some tea right here

"Okay guys so, basically i wanted to introduce you guys to someone who has been in my life for awhile now and she means the world to me. I really think you guys will love her (maybe even more than me haha)."

"Bec, you wanna come here for sec" he nods towards me. I stand up and walk over to him. I'm knelling in front of the camera but he pulls me down on his lap.

"hi guys!" I say adding a wave at the end. I scroll to read some of the comments.

user2829: who knew Raegan could get such a pretty girl!!!

user2889: what's you @?

user3889: wait what's your name?

Rae is reading the comments to and chimes in;
"Honestly Guys, I have no idea how I got her either."

"Rae ! That was so cheesy !!!! Haha" I giggle

" I'll go ahead and introduce myself! So I'm Rebecca I'm from the Midwest, I'm 18 and I will be attending UCLA in the fall. And I see someone asked how we met.... we met through Kristen Hatcher actually!"

Raegan and I take turns reading comments and we answer some questions, which are almost always followed by an array of 'Aw's. Everything is going well until I see one comment in specific.

user82891: y'all stop gassing her up. She isn't even that pretty, and they won't last long.

Rae sees the one I'm stopped on and quickly deleted the comment. I try to get back into the groove but I still can't shake it from my thoughts. He notices and makes some excuse to end the live.

We both say bye and immediately you phone is full of notifications saying I've gotten new followers on IG.

Raegan turns to me; " hey remember what I said; they have no effect on you and me."
He pulls me into a hug.

Im scared of having this aspect of publicity in our relationship, but I am so confident in my love for him.
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This was a long one but I hope you like 💕