Stonehearts 7: Ruby

Prologue

"Arcie, your mom and I decided to divorce." Dad's words rang inside my head on a loop. He and mom are seated beside each other and me in front of them - silent.

When they called me out here in the family room, I was hoping we would discuss their decision of moving back to the Philippines. We've been talking about it for months, I really don't have any problem with it. I have learned to love the Island with every visit I made there ever since I was a child. I love my grandpop and grandmom and their simple yet satisfying lifestyle. I know I was sporting one hell of a smile when I got here, but that faded when Dad broke the news to me.

"Kailan pa 'to?" I asked. They both looked at each other before averting their gaze back at me.

"Hija, hindi na mahalaga kung kailan pa namin napagdesisyunan. Ang mahalaga ay-"

"Mahalaga sa akin, mom." Putol ko agad sa pagpapaliwanag ni mommy. Katahimikan ang bumalot sa aming tatlo pagkatapos ng sinabi ko. Mukhang walang gustong magsalita muli kaya minabuti kong ituloy-tuloy na ang mga gusto kong sabihin. "Dad, mom. Kailan pa kayo nagsimulang magkaroon ng problema na bigla niyo na lang napagdesisyunan na maghiwalay? I've always viewed your marriage as the golden standard of how I wanted my married life should be. You never fought, but if you ever did, I never once saw any of it. Wala rin namang third party. All I want is to know why?"

More silence ensued after my sort of grand speech. I never once imagined that my 18 year-old self would lecture my parents.

"Arcie, hija. Ang problema ay 'yong hindi kami nagkaproblema." Dad finally said. I looked at him, baffled with what he just said. I know he must've read the confused expression on my face so he went to expound more. "Your mom and I grew as best friends just like how her mom and my mom were best friends since high school."

"Nana and grandmom?" I asked. Why am I only learning about this now?

They both nodded in sync. Mom looked at dad for a while and he just lifted his chin to her, telling her that it's her turn to share the story.

"Those two were two peas in a pod. I remember your Nana telling me that your grandmom was ugly crying when she learned that your Nana Carinna and your Papa Johannes decided to live here in the US. But distance never became a problem to those two. They kept exchanging snail mails, updating each side with what's happening to both their lives." Mom was looking away, smiling at the happy memory I know Nana had told her countless of times. "They were crazily wired to each other, they even had the both of us in the same year, just different months."

Dad nodded and he continued, "I think we were only three years old when your Nana decided to go back to the Philippines since your great grandmother felt really ill. And that's where we met. Like we always tell you, your mom and I have known each other since forever. We went to the same school from primary to college. We've been around each other for so long that it wasn't normal to not see each other everyday."

"I remember the look your grandparents had when we announced that we were dating, how happy they were when we decided to marry, and how ecstatic they were when we learned that we were pregnant with you." Mom said, her smiling slipping into a sad one.

I felt my tears forming at the back of my eye. I tried closing them for a bit, not wanting to cry in front of them now since I am trying to grasp as to why. Why they have decided to go on separate ways?

"Hindi rin namin alam, siguro sa tinagal ng panahon naging komportable kaming dalawa sa isa't-isa. Sobrang komportable na hindi na kami nag-fufunction bilang mag-asawa, kundi bilang magkaibigan lang. Trust us when we say we tried, we tried making this work. Bata ka pa lang, nararamdaman na namin ito. Pero ayaw ka naming lumaki sa sirang pamilya kaya sinubukan namin."

"Pero ngayon pwede na akong mabuhay sa hiwalay na magulang?" I challenged. I was never the child to snap an answer to my parents. Pero alam kong naiintindihan nila kung saan ako nanggagaling, kung bakit ako nagagalit.

"Hindi sa ganoon, hija." Agad na bawi ni mommy. "Alam naming sobra itong hinihingi namin, pero gusto lang naming maging masaya. Because right now, we're not happy with each other anymore."

And that's all it took for my walls to crumble. Naiyak ako kahit anong pigil ko. Sino ba naman ako para pumigil sa kasiyahan ng tao? Lalong-lalo na ang mga magulang ko?

Naramdaman ko na lang ang mga brasong pumulupot sa'kin at ang mga bulong na magiging maayos pa rin naman kami kahit nagdesisyon na talaga silang maghiwalay.

"P-aano ako, mom, dad?" I croaked.

My mom was hushing me while she runs her hand on my hair. "Ikaw ay ikaw pa rin, hija. Hindi mo kailangan magbago dahil magbabago kami. Kung ano ka rito, ganiyan kang uuwi sa Pilipinas."

"H-hind nga kayo sasama?" I asked while I sniffed in between sobs.

Napailing si dad bago dumampi ang labi niya sa noo ko. "Kailangan kasi naming i-finalize ang divorce rito sa U.S. bago ka namin masundan sa Pilipinas. Sabi naman ng grandmom po, sila ang bahala sa iyo roon kaya wala namang magiging problema."

"Pero susunod kayo?" Muling tanong ko.

Napatango silang parehas at ngumiti, "Oo naman, anak. Hindi ka namin hahayaang mag-isa at malayo sa amin."

With all that I am learning right now, relief somehow washed over me. At least it's not as bad as I imagined it would be. They are just getting a divorce, but they are not abandoning their duties as my parents. I closed my eyes, I will try to make myself remember this once in a while.

"We're sorry you have to go through this too, hija." I heard my mom whispered. I just nodded my head, words suddenly becoming a luxury to me.

It still pains me to think that the perfect marriage I've been looking up to was all built on a lie. I want to ask them to try again, to try to fight for what they have now. But when I look at their faces, all I saw was relief, relief that finally they are both out of each other's lives. And that's the saddest thing I can ever think of, that after all these years of building something with someone you'll both realize that along the way you weren't what each other wanted and needed. So I vow, that when life shows me what it's like to have someone to cherish, I will make sure that I will fight for it as long as I can.