Stonehearts 7: Ruby

Thirteen

Akala ko kakayanin ko lahat para kay Bryce. I thought I'd be satisfied with whatever little he's going to offer me. Akala ko hindi na ako maghahangad pa ng iba.

But I reached my breaking point.

After he said those words to me, I was hit with the truth I've been running away from the moment I saw him again.

He's never going to look at me the same way I look him.

"Arcie-bear! Long time no call!" Aly's cheerful greeting breezed to my ear.

But I am too sullen to return her enthusiasm, "A-aly. . . are you free? P-puntahan mo naman ako dito sa bahay. . . I need you." I tried my best not to hiccup on my sobs.

I hear rustling on the other line before she told me that she'll be here in less that fifteen minutes.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal umiiyak na nakatalukbong. Basta narinig ko na lang ang boses ni Aly na may sinasabi kay mommy bago dahan-dahang bumukas ang pinto ko.

My bed dipped until a pair of hands encircled me in a comforting hug. Kahit hindi ko tinignan, I know this is my Aly. "Hey. . . what happened?"

I unveiled myself from my comforter, "Si Bryce. . . hindi ko sinabi sa'yo kasi alam kong magagalit ka. . we've been seeing each other lately."

She looked confused as she brushed my hair out of my face, so I continued. "He only calls or texts me when he wants to keep himself busy while Aya's not there. He asks for pieces of advice and. . ." hindi ko na natuloy ang sinasabi ko.

My tears came crashing like a speeding truck. Everything hurts. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula magsabi kay Aly kung alin ang masakit. The pain in my heart radiated like a nuclear bomb injuring all my senses.

"Bakit ka kasi ganito, Arcie? Bakit lahat pinaglalaban mo? Attorney ka ba? Hindi naman 'diba? Wala ka na sa tamang katwiran. ."

I rested my head on her chest and sobbed even harder. She held the back of my head while her other hand rested on my back.

"Mahal ko siya, Aly. . . mahal ko siya. ."

"Hindi ka niya mahal. Si Aya ang mahal niya, hindi ikaw."

I know this before. It's not new to me. But why does it hurt like hell when Aly slapped the truth to my face? Bakit mas mahirap tanggapin?

"Itigil mo na 'to, Ruby Carianne. It's an unhealthy obsession."

"P-paano?"

I raised my head to look at her, but she is as clueless as I am. "Hindi ko alam kung paano. Kung kailan mong mag-date, mag-date ka. Mag-leave sa trabaho, mag-leave ka. Maialis mo lang sa isipan mo 'yang taong 'yan."

I let her words hung over my head. I can't think of anything else to say. I know she's right. Dapat talaga nakinig na ako sa kanya noon pa. Bakit ba kasi matigas ang ulo ko?

That night, I asked for Aly to stay with me. Nakatulog ako ng mahimbing kahit na parang mamamatay na ata ako sa sakit. The next morning, hinintay niya rin akong makapasok sa trabaho. She has her driver with her, kaya convoy kaming dalawa hanggang marating namin ang building ni Sage.

"'Wag ka ng umiyak, ha? Mamaya na lang gabi kapag kasama mo ako ulit." paalala niya bago niya akong muling inakap.

I returned her comforting hug with one of mine before I hurriedly made my way to the lift. Buti na lang napindot ko ang up button bago pa 'yon magsara.

Nagulat pa nga ako dahil si Sage pala ang nakasakay don. "Sino 'yon?" agad na tanong niya.

I pressed the close button and stood beside him, "Bakit mo ko sinaraduhan ng elevator?"

"Bakit maga mata mo?"

"Bakit ang aga-aga ang dami mong tanong?"

Sandali kaming nagsukatan ng tingin dalawa bago niya ako pinitik sa noo. "Nauna akong nagtanong. Dapat maging magalang ka sa Kuya mo."

I rubbed the place where his finger landed. He stood straight but his eyes never left mine, "Si Aly 'yong kasama ko kanina."

A lopsided grin appeared in his face and I instantly knew what he's thinking. Bago pa lumayo ang dako ng pag-iisip niya, hinampas ko siya sa braso, "Hoy, 'wag siya! 'Wag 'yong best friend ko."

"What? Wala naman akong ibang sinabi. Ngumiti lang naman ako."

"Alam ko 'yang mga ganiyan mo. Maraming sabi-sabi sa opisina na playboy ka raw. I won't fault you if you want to add girls to your collection but leave my best friend out of it. Magagalit talaga ako sa'yo."

The smile he has completely disappeared, and he seemed like he was pondering on a thought, "All right. I won't go near her."

"Saka may boyfriend na 'yon. Matinong babae si Torie Maylalaine kaya hindi papatol sa'yo 'yon." I mumbled.

"Para mo namang sinabing napakasama kong tao, Arcie." He said, clutching his chest as if I just pushed a knife there.

I rolled my eyes at him, ignoring him as we stride together inside the office.

As soon as I reached my table, the light feeling my banter with Sage was gone. Nakita ko nanaman kasi 'yong ballpen na bigay ni Bryce.

Naalala ko nanaman lahat. Napabuntong-hininga ako. I rested my forearms on my table and leaned my head there. Ayaw ko ng umiyak. Lagi ko na lang iniiyak ang taong 'yon.

My day got busier especially when we were all summoned back to the branch for an emergency meeting. Sir Ray, wanted to meet everyone because tomorrow, the new hires will report to work.

I got a huge feeling of painful nostalgia when I passed by the Japanese restaurant on my way home. Wala ng susunod pa naalala dahil kailangan ko ng pilitin ang sarili ko na hindi makipagkita sa kanya.

I rescheduled our dinner with Sage since I need Aly again tonight. Alam ko kasing magmumukmok nanaman ako pagkauwi ko kaya sinabihan ko si Sage na next time na lang. And also because I don't want him near Aly.

"Dapat mag-install ka na ng Tinder." Banggit ni Aly kaya napalingon ako sa kanya.

Kasalukuyan siyang nag-blo-blower ng buhok kaya wala sa'kin ang atensyon niya.

"Ayoko. Baka mamaya kung sino pa na-match ko."

"Edi, alis na lang tayo. Magpakalayo-layo muna tayo for some time. You need a breather."

"Saan naman tayo pupunta?" I said, as I slumped to my soft mattress, face first.

"Kahit saan mo gusto. Ako na bahala sa lahat."

Maybe, she's right. Baka ito lang kailangan ko para maalis na sa sistema ko ang taong 'yon. Maybe, I should stop trusting myself when it comes to that guy and should let Aly do all the deciding.

"Saan nga ulit nagpunta si Angelica sa movie nila ni JM De Guzman? Kung saan siya nagsisisigaw? Baka mga ganoong anek ang kailangan ko."

Narinig kong tumigil ang tunog ng blower kaya inangat ko ang ulo ko para matitigan siya. "Ayoko mag-bundok. Kung gusto mo ng mataas na lugar para sumigaw dalhin na lang kita sa rooftop ng building ni daddy."

"Akala ko ba kahit saan ko gusto?" I whined and again buried my head.

I heard her sighing, "Fine, pero hindi sa Sagada. Sa Baguio na lang, at least doon city pa rin."