Stonehearts 7: Ruby

Thirty One

I fluttered my eyes open and went on to check the time. It's forty seven minutes after three. I sighed and knifed up. Sumandal ako sa headboard ng kama ko habang nakatingin sa kawalan.

"This is getting tiring." I murmured. Exhaling one more time, I flipped the cover off of me and went inside the bathroom to prepare for my morning run.

While I was brushing my teeth, I noticed the notification dot on my watch glittering. May text si Aly, mukhang kagabi pa, inuutusan niya akong gumawa na ulit ng Facebook at iba pang social media account para palitan 'yong mga dine-activate ko noon.

I went back inside my room and took my phone from my dresser to reply, telling her that I'll think about what she said. Dragging a pair of work out clothes from my luggage, I mentally reminded myself to put my clothes on the cabinet, para maitabi ko na rin 'tong maleta. Plus, I also have to continue working on the computer table I bought with Marco. Hindi pa kasi tapos ma-assemble. And I can't remember why. Ang natatanging naaalala ko na lang ay ang mga atraso at kasalanan ko sa kanya.

I can still vividly remember the last conversation we had. It was at that moment that I realized, that I cared for him, but not to the extent of loving him more than a friend.

"Hindi ko in-expect na kikitain mo pa ako." Tugon ko, nakayuko at matamang nakatitig sa baso ng juice sa pagitan ng palad ko.

Hindi ko naman lubos akalain na pagkatapos kagabi, pupuntahan niya pa ako rito sa bahay. Wala na siyang ibang binanggit kundi gusto niya akong maka-usap. Ngunit ngayon, habang nakaupo kaming magkarap, wala pa siya ni isang salitang binibitiwan.

I took a slow, staggering breath before I decided to meet his eyes. There was so much sadness in there, my heart clenched. Lalo na't alam ko kung gaano kaninang ng mga mata niya kapag masaya siya. His eyes were dark, focused, and grim.

"Marco, gusto ko sanang mag-sorry ulit." Mahinang tugon ko.

Umiling siya at umiwas ng tingin. His gaze was set behind me, probably looking at the frame collage photos of me and my doll house. He used to say that those were his favorite photos of me when I was a kid.

"'Wag kang mag-sorry na sinubukan mo akong mahalin, Arcie." His voice was quiet, lacking of any emotion other than grief. "Why do you keep on choosing him?"

"I-I don't know."

He slid his stare and met mine. "You know. At least be honest with me, Arcie. I have to . . . I just need to know."

I was silent for a moment, getting lost on those eyes that once regarded me with so much warmth. Now, he's looking at me so distantly, casting me a stare I cannot even say suitable for someone you call an acquaintance.

"He's in my heart for so long. I can't undo my feelings for him anymore. But trust me when I say, I tried. I wanted to redirect everything that I felt to you, for you."

He laughed humorlessly. He clasped his hand together and rested his elbows on his knee, his head hanging low. "I still have a little strenght left in me, Arcie. God knows that if you tell me now that you wanted me to carry all the weight and fight for both of us, I will. I fucking will. Kahit ang sakit sakit na."

"I don't want you hurting."

"Then say there's a chance that you can love me back."

When I didn't answer, he chuckled to himself. Sobrang walang laman ng tawang 'yon, ang sakit sa pusong pakinggan. He inhaled a long breath and leaned on the single seater sofa he's in.