Stonehearts 7: Ruby

Thirty Five

I don't know if I have enough tears to cry yet again. He's gone. But could I blame him, though? He has a patience of a saint, pero may hangganan naman ang lahat.

I laggardly walked back to my house. Hindi ganoon kalayo pero parang naglakad ako ng kilo-kilometro dahil sa pagal at hingal na nararamdaman ko. Muli kong nasilayan ang pagkalaking kahon na nasa harapan ng bahay ko. It reaches

I wanted to kick it, just to ease some of this throttling pain that's slowly pouring another deadly toxin from my insides. I stood right infront of the huge, bulky carton and tried to shove it aside with my foot. However, it was too heavy for me to move.

I balled my heads to my sides. Anger, frustration, and despair, began brewing in my system, creating yet another poison that I know will again push me back, if not deeper, to this void I've become accustomed of.

Yanking the unsealed flaps of the box, I almost falter backward when I saw something so old yet familiar sitting inside. Something I thought I would'nt see anymore. With trembling hands, I took the folded note on top of it.

Who could've done this?

Slowly, with much care, like it was a bomb about to detonate in a second, I unfolded the piece of cream-colored paper.

"Rubs," It read. My name dripping with the black pen he used. I caressed the clean yet slouchy written letters before, ever so steadily peered on the message he bled.

"I could tell you a lot. Things you may want to know and also stuff that you might not want to have any knowledge of. The way things started between us, and how it progressed, was filled with so much torment that I understand why you wanted it to end. But if you're going to ask me if we're on the right path, I would say yes without much of a blink. Because I know the ultimate road I wanted to travel is always to you. Back to you. Always, only you. But pain is pain. And I've caused you a lot of it. God knows how much I want to fix it, and if disappearing from your life is the only way to do it, then it might as well be my fate. I've wasted and took you for granted, that I'm guilty of. But I'm also guilty of loving you, so hard, I know there's no moving on from this. Like I said, it's always you. Only, ever, you."

My shaky palm was on my mouth as I let staggering breaths like I'm about to freeze to death. But the thing is, I felt almost like that. The morning was humid and the sun is up and shining bright in the sky, but it was cold. I felt the chilling stroke of sadness snaking my body.

Dad's right. If I hadn't stirred away from him, if only I was brave enough to face this head-on; things shouldn't be this way. I should've –

Arms circled my waist from behind and a face was suddenly pressed on the crook of my neck and shoulder. The feeling was so foreign yet so natural. I recognized his smell and the comfort he brings with his presence. Albeit, his body we're giving out tremors, there's this peace starting to settle inside me.

"Tell me I'm not too late, that it's not too late. I've tried to walk away but I can't." He whispered.

I closed my eyes, relief and too much joy I'm afraid I might wake up and find that this is all just a dream.

"Rubs, I –"

He halted, startled when I placed my hands on top of his arms snaked around my waist.

"I've loved you for a lifetime, Bryce. And I'm still vowing to love you for another one if I'm granted the chance."

He stilled for a moment, then he took in a large breath, and I think he's crying on my shoulder. With every sniff, his hold of me tightens that it was getting harder to breathe. But, I don't mind. He could crush me, burn me, I will still choose to be with him. I don't ever want to live anymore day in my life regretting things I should'nt have and should've done.