Stonehearts 7: Ruby

Twenty Four

I haven't seen Marco for days. When I told him I decided to retract my decision of not talking to Bryce, I think he understood what I meant.

Hindi siya nanghingi ng kahit na anong paliwanag mula sa'kin, hindi rin siya nagtanong kung anong plano ko, kung kalian, kung saan. He respected the boundaries and never once brought the subject up. His texts and calls are only made to check up on me. Hindi siya namintis ni isang araw.

At night, he would call me asking about my day, what breakfast did I eat, if I had my coffee, did I packed my lunch or just went to dine outside, then he'll tell me he misses me, that he wishes to see me, but that he understood everything and that he is patient enough to wait.

I know he's doing this to make sure I know that he's still hanging on tight to our unlabeled relationship.

"Do you think I'm being unfair to you? Kasi 'yon ang naiisip ko madalas, na nag-te-take advantage na lang ako." Bulong ko.

Naupo ako sa tabi ng bintana at dumungaw sa kalangitan. I let my eyes soaked the expanse of the glittery sky. Admiring the twinkling of each star and the bright moonlight.

Marco sighed against the receiver, "No, not once did I think that way. At dapat ikaw rin, 'wag kang naiisip ng kung anu-anong negatibo tungkol sa'yo."

"Hindi ko naman maiwasan. Sa tuwing kausap kita, ka-text, katawagan, laging sumasagi 'yon sa utak ko."

"Arcie, kahit puro kuha lang ang gawin mo at puro bigay ang hingin mo sa'kin, hindi ako magrereklamo."

"'Yon na nga, eh. Dapat nagrereklamo ka."

"Kahit gustuhin ko, hindi ko magawa. Somehow, when it comes to you, my understanding has no end. Hindi ko kayang magalat o mainis man lang sa'yo kahit anong pilit ko."

I was waiting for the normal reaction I would have when he tells me things like this. The heart-lurching excitement, the warm and fuzzy feeling of anticipation. I waited and waited some more. But I felt nothing.

Naalarma ako na nasamid ako sa sarili kong laway. I started coughing making Marco call out with worry.

"I'm okay." I heaved. The panic slowly rearing. "I will update you after our meet up tomorrow." I finally said.

"Okay, Arcie." His voice more strained.

"If you tell me not to go I won't go." I tempt. There was a long pause, I even checked if the minutes of the call is still running to make sure it hadn't dropped.

"I won't do that to you. I will not control your life for my benefit." He firmly replied.

I sighed, looking down at my lap. When did my life become such a rollercoaster ride? Pakiramdam ko mas magulo na ang buhay ko kesa kay Aly.

"Arcie, guard your heart, okay? The last thing I wanted is for you to get hurt again." Marco muttered, breaking my thoughts.

Guard my heart. It's fast beginning to be his favorite line. He never did miss on reminding me this every night before we go to sleep.

"Yes, I will." I stretched my limbs and took note of the time. I heard Marco yawn, cueing me to end the call. "Good night, Marco. You need to rest too. Lalo na't kagagaling mong sixteen hours na shift."

"Yeah, I just need to hear your voice before I do." He says, sleepily. "Good night, Arcie. Guard your heart for me." Then his voice was replaced by a monotonous line.

I tossed and turned on my bed before sleep had taken me. Ilang beses kong pinaalala sa sarili ko na dapat wala akong ikakaba dahil si Bryce lang naman 'yon at mag-uusap lang kami, tulad ng gusto niya.