What's Going to Happen: NCIS

Chapter 23

Tim's POV:

I sit at my typewriter, knowing that my words are mine no matter what. Just because I write them on here so I can dispose of what I'm about to write, doesn't mean I didn't write them. It doesn't give them less meaning. I didn't think this would be one of the things that would be hard to do in my life.

I don't want to write what I'm about to, but I'm not giving myself a choice. I take a deep breath and I start typing.

I've been asked a certain question a lot this week. The crazy feeling of it is that it feels like it's been more than a week. The longest week of my life; I wish I could say had its up and downs. It's more of a steady drive and I hit a couple potholes here and there. I shouldn't feel selfish feeling this way, but I do because of what it's leading up to. That stupid question of people asking me where my head is at. I apologize and act like the question was never asked. It's because I know where it is. It's with her. It's always with her; of all hours of the day. My dreams; she's there. My daydreams; she's there. She is always with me.

I feel lucky to be able to have her in my mind. I feel really lucky. It's just that this week has been taken a toll on me. I don't know when it will end. Right there. That sentence is a lie. I know when it will end and it's my worst nightmare. I feel guilty of the idea crossing my mind multiple times this week. I shouldn't have even thought about it once. I just thought about it because, well, it's not hard to explain but this part I can leave out. I feel even more guilty for thinking this after what she went through. It feels like her being taken was so long ago. It wasn't.

If I can't even say it, the least I could do for myself is write it down instead of just thinking it.

I sit there trying to just get my fingers to move to the keys that I need to type out my thought. The problem is I hate that the idea of us not being together is dangling in the back of my mind. And it's always me insinuating it. It's just for reasons that have been happening recently, I don't mean just this week. Tony and Ziva have just caught on, along with Gibbs, but I know that it's been happening longer than just this week.

I don't want us to break up for the reasons I have listed in my head because I don't care about those reasons. I have the best thing in the world. Her. I won't give that up for just anything. I just want things to go back to the way they used to be. Why can't it be easier done than said instead of the other way around.

I look at the words I typed out and hate myself for thinking this was a good idea. I hate that I started writing this stupid thought down. It makes me look like a complete quitter and I won't do that to her. Ever.

"Shit." I mumble to myself. I take the paper and crumble it up. I throw it in the waste basket, sink deep into my chair and blankly stare at my typewriter, and wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

Melissa's POV:

As I close the door to the house, I leave James, who is probably worrying if the incident will happen again, inside. I know he's worrying because of the way he acted when I told him I was going out. I'm glad he didn't make a big deal about it like he could have. He knows that I need this. I was vague when I told him why, but after all his years of him either being vague or saying nothing, I deserved to be.

I take a deep breath and do a look around like Gibbs did the day I made it home from the hospital with him, Ziva, and James. Ziva did the same when we went to the bagel shop. I was so paranoid that day. I'm glad I went out while she was here. I knew my first outing shouldn't be alone and she knew that too. She really does look out for me.

I know I told her at the Halloween party that I forgive her for drugging me and leaving me, but I feel like I always have to remind her I trust her with my life. Especially, ever since that day she tackled me to the ground because Juice starting shooting at us. Man, I hope she knows it.

Thinking of her calmed me down on the walk to my car. I walked very fast too, but I still count me being calm as a good thing, even if it was for a second. I turn the car on immediately so I can lock the doors.

I laugh at myself for how ridiculous I must look if anyone is watching. Chills go through my body at the thought of someone looking. Then, I breathe in and out slowly and remember that I am okay now. He's gone. Along with David. I wonder if I will see him ever again.

I start driving. I didn't bother bringing my iPod. The phone that Gibbs gave me and everyone else, does the job of being a phone and iPod. I love it. My poor iPod hasn't been neglected ever since I got it. I would say it feels weird, but not tonight. I want to hear all my surroundings every chance I get.

I pull up to the curb and park my car. A smile is on my face. It's a real smile because my face already hurts from doing so. I unbuckle my seatbelt and take out my phone. I do a little scrolling and hear the ringing begin.

"Baby?"

"Yeah. It's me." I say cheerfully.

"Hey, I'm sorry I was in a daze."

I get out of the car and look around like the agents do. "Anything interesting?"

He chuckles. "Anything that involves you is interesting." I can see him smirk on this end of the phone. It gives me those butterflies all over again.

"I miss you." I tell him.

"I miss you too, baby. You have no idea." I hear him sigh.

"Is everything okay?" I ask. He's acting kind of weird. He's always weird but not like this.

He takes a moment. "Yeah. I just miss you so much. It actually is starting to hurt how much I miss you. I never knew what people meant when they would say that."

"Believe me. I know what you mean."

"That's one of the reasons I love you. You always know what I mean, even when I don't."

I press my phone against my chest for a second. I bring it back to hear his voice.

He scuffs. "Baby, could you hold on one minute?"

I try to hide my laughing as best as I can. 'Mmhmm."

"People are crazy. Who would be here this late-"

And there he is. My boyfriend is standing in front of me with his jaw on the floor. I have a smile on my face and both of us still have our phones in hand.

"Surprise."