Wickedness Of A Child (Emison)

1

[E]

''Would you like some more?''

''No, thank you.''

I gave my mother a simple, yet forgiving look across the dining table for all the mistakes she's done to me during these ten years. Not the kind of mistakes that turns out into violence or threats. More like not doing anything at all when all I needed was a little support from someone I knew truly loved me. Unfortunately things don't really work out the way you want them to.

''Hold your fork properly, Emily.'' My stepfather coldly spoke up with his attention flickering along the newspaper as he read the articles. His eyes glowed with falsehood, and as his lips slightly parted to continue the sentence I accidentally dropped my knife in fear. It landed with a bang on the floor right next to my chair and I gulped, because I knew what was coming.

I picked up the knife, and before I could react his hand slapped roughly across my face. ''Let's have a talk after dinner, just the two of us.'' He casually said after he grabbed his own cutlery and continued to eat what remained of the killed animal on his plate. That sentence always sounded so casual nowadays, since the two of us talking after dinner had become a routine. He knew he could force me in there if he had to, and he knew my mother wouldn't disagree or step in. With no one against him or uttering a word about it, of course he was convinced that he was doing the right thing.

When he was done eating, he simply stood up and motioned for me to go with him. If I had finished my meal or not wasn't important. All that mattered to him was the punishment for not being one hundred percent perfect.

''You know the drill. Take off your shirt.''

I didn't bother to unbutton the buttons, instead I pulled it over my head and threw it on the floor beside me in one motion. I leaned forward with my shaking palms roughly pressed against the wooden table.

The sound of his shabby hands getting in contact with the whip is the worst, because I know the worst was yet to come. When it later became silent, at least I knew it was over. For now.

I closed my eyes, and without wasting another second he pulled the whip back, then used all the power he had to use it on me. I gasped for air every time the whip got in contact with the skin across my lumbar spine, and I counted in my head up to ten.

Then it got silent.

I breathed out and stood back up straight. All I heard by now was my mother playing loudly on the piano in the living room. She always played so hard her fingers went numb, and all because she refused to hear the sound of him torturing me without feeling guilty.

The door behind me slammed closed and I could finally breathe again. I must get rid of this anger somehow. I put my shirt back on and headed out of the room, walking right through the apartment and out of the door.

Before I got home for dinner, my friends and I decided to meet up afterwards in the alley two blocks away from where I live. And by the time I got there, they had already been trapping a classmate of ours in the corner and were all kicking and spitting at him.

''Guys!'' I shouted.

They stopped and stepped away from the boy without a single question asked. I walked up to the coughing red haired boy, and grabbed him by his sweater. ''You are pathetic.'' I whispered and spat in his face before yanking him up on his feet, then throwing punches incessantly at his already sore face until his body strength disappeared and he fell down on his knees.

The anger had finally disappeared.

''Better than last time. You're really working your way up, Fields.'' Connor proudly said and hung his arm across my shoulder as we left the alley as a group.

''I gotta go.'' I lowly said and released myself from him.

''Why?''

''Because of what happened earlier this week. I got a meeting at the principal's office in ten minutes.'' I told him, and jogged away from the group without giving them a chance to reply.

I switched between jogging and running all the way to school, and once I got there I sprinted up the stairs and ended up being one minute early. The corridor was empty, since school had been over for hours. But the principal wanted to gather my teachers as well for this meeting, so it had to be later than usual.

The door to the principal's office opened and out came a boy I recognized from a fight earlier this week. I knew the nerd would tell school about it, yet I couldn't stop myself from hurting him. It's like violence is a big part of me, even though I wish it wasn't. I'd do anything to get rid of it.

''Fields!''

I got up from the bench and headed inside the office. There sat three of my closest teachers, and the principal himself. ''Sit.''

I did as the older man requested.

''Well well.. Emily Fields. Bullying, beatings, assaults. What do you think will be the results of your brutish behavior? Going home and doing your homework like nothing ever happened?'' Mr. Erics, the principal, asked. I heard how mad he was, but also how hard he tried to keep his personal opinions to himself. ''These teachers are still convinced that you have a good academic ability, and it doesn't exactly make your behavior seem better.'' He sharply said with his eyes looking dismissively at me. ''There's only one word for people like you, and it's wickedness. In it's purest form. There's no other explanation.''

He kept talking about how bad of a person I am, and how I'm going to regret making these decisions for the rest of my life. I don't blame his rough choice of words either. ''Anything else?'' I carelessly asked after he finished.

''Be aware of one thing.'' He stepped up close to me. ''You'll never be admitted to any state high school in this country. I'll make sure of that.''

I frowned and kept fighting his staring gaze. ''Anything else?''

He scoffed and walked back behind his desk. ''You are dismissed.''

~~~~~