Wickedness Of A Child (Emison)

32

[E]

Micah, Alison and I were deployed around the dining table. Alison and I sat across from each other with Micah on the short side of the table, which was on my left side. I felt a little nervous about eating dinner with Micah, since I had no idea how much he actually knew about me. What if he doesn't know the half of everything and will kick me out of the heartbeat once he finds out?

''Emily.'' Micah sternly spoke up after swallowing the bite he chewed. ''I hope you don't mind that I'm asking this, but how on earth did you get into such a difficult position?''

At first I didn't realize what part of everything he was referring to, so I glanced at Alison and begged her to help me out. I'm afraid I might say too much. According to the police I'm not allowed to talk about this at all, so I'm trying to keep a low profile.

''Be a little more specific.'' Alison interjected.

Micah hummed as he emptied his glass of wine. ''Don't worry, little sis. I'm not referring to the bullets she shot off in the bathroom earlier, I'm talking about the thing she has going on with the police.''

I began to cough uncontrollably and reached for the glass of water I had waiting in front of me to empty it in hope of getting rid of the piece I had stuck in my throat. It worked, so I could slowly breath properly again.

As I looked back up, Alison looked like she was about to kill her brother any second. ''Who the fuck says such a thing??'' Alison scoffed. I noticed how deeply she was blushing once she calmed down.

Micah's eyes flickered between us. ''I'm sorry. I'm used to being able to joke like that around my friends. I guess you two aren't there yet.''

''You think?!'' Alison snapped.

''First, I'm not really supposed to talk about the case so I'm afraid I can't tell you that much. Second, I'm sorry that you heard about our moment earlier but yes, I did shoot off my entire charging and it felt amazing.'' I told him, my eyes directly staring into his.

Alison just gaped. ''Jesus christ..''

Micah on the other hand bursted out laughing. ''I like you, Emily.''

I bowed a little discreetly in response. ''The feeling is mutual.''

''Can we please change the subject?'' Alison begged.

Micah leaned across the edge of the table as far as he could, only to say; ''She's embarrassed of us talking about our sperm. Should we go into detail or drop it?''

I looked at Alison, who glared at me. ''We should probably drop it before I get that fork thrown at me.'' I joked, which caused her eyes to burn. Getting that fork in my shoulder isn't that far away by now.

''Let's move on to the other subject. Alison has already told me that you are involved with the police, but I never understood quite why. Are you already convicted of being guilty?'' Micah asked and continued to eat.

''No, I'm not. Not by law. But I am aware of what I've done and not, so technically I already know that I'm guilty.'' I explained. A loud sigh got blown out as my conscience caught up with me. I hate being in this position.

Micah sighed as well. ''Do you have a good lawyer?''

I nodded. ''I do.''

''What's his name? I might know who he is.'' Micah questioned.

''Do you work as a defense lawyer?''

Micah shook his head. ''Not anymore. But I used to before the accident happened.''

Alison gently placed her hand on top of his on the table. I remember Alison telling me a little about Micah's accident the same day I left Jefferson's. I couldn't help but feel guilty of what happened to him. I know I had nothing to do with it, but he got in the middle of a fight that was with the same background as my case. Realizing that I did the same thing to someone else makes me feel so dirty.

''I'm sorry, Micah.'' I lowly said. Both their faces tilted to look at me questioning. ''I mean, I'm sorry that it happened to you.''

Micah gave me a small smile and nodded. ''Emily?'' His finger nudged by my hand to get my attention. ''Those guys who attacked me that night were monsters and the first period after I got out of the hospital I had this huge internal anger that kept boiling. I wanted those guys to suffer the way I did, and I wanted them to rot in a prison cell. But then something happened, I got in contact with a person that told me everything from another perspective. He informed me of their background and how they were raised in their homes. After that I don't feel any anger, I just feel sorry for them. Their lives were living nightmares and they didn't have any other way than to suffer through the nightmare by torturing others like they were being tortured every single day-.''

As Micah explained, I couldn't help but feel Alison's eyes staring at me. Why is she looking at me like that? Does she.. does she think I'm like those guys?

''I don't know how your situation are, but I hope you are being treated as you deserve. Because you're not a bad girl, Emily. You aren't horrible or wicked at all. I hope that's not how you see yourself.'' Micah stopped there, and looked at me with concern.

I leaned back in the chair and locked my hands roughly. I saw my knuckles turning white, but I didn't feel any pain. The only thing I felt was how the area on my lumbar spine began to hurt, exactly the way it does when Steven uses his belt or whip on me.

It all came floating back in my mind, and the anger I used to feel every day before I got transferred away from here slowly took over. Fuck, not now. I don't want this.

Out of nowhere I felt the air getting thinner in here. I stood up so fast the chair I sat on flipped over. I didn't care. I needed to get out.

I felt how my feet transported me through the condo and out of there. All I heard was Steven's laugh in my mind as I ran down the stairs all the way down to the lobby and stormed out through the exit. I didn't know what to do. The anger didn't leave me.

I was so close to grab the first teenage boy I saw and drag him into an empty alley just get rid of this feeling. But I couldn't, because the streets were empty.

Suddenly I heard someone behind me call out my name.

''Emily!!''

Steven's voice occupied all my thoughts. All I heard was his voice, even thought I was pretty sure he wasn't the one calling my name. Two hands roughly grabbed my shoulders and forced me to stop walking.

''Emily!! Em! Lock at me!'' The dark voice slowly faded into a more brighter one and when I opened my eyes again I didn't see him anymore. I didn't hear him, or felt him. His voice had got replaced by the only voice I love, and the pain across my lumbar spine had disappeared.

''Get this out of my head!'' I shouted as I fell down on my knees. It began to fade. All my muscles started to relax and I could let the arms that were hugging me finally help me through the last part. The anxiety.

''Em..'' I hesitatingly looked up and saw how Alison's crystal blue eyes carefully tried to reach out to me. ''You can't keep carry on like this, you have to let someone help you.''

I collapsed into her embrace and buried my face against her chest. ''Please.. I don't want this. You have to help me. Please..'' 

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Mmm.. This is a huge mess.

We'll see how they'll tackle this. Things are far from solved yet. I have a feeling this will be a long story.. Do you guys want that or is it too much?