Sophomore Year

15. Heated

WARNING: This chapter involves small talk of adult language and suicidal ideation relations. Do not continue if you are affected by these.

This chapter is shorter than most. I will add more chapters tomorrow!
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Two days after I got there, another girl from my school came. Her name was Ava. She and I got along the first two days that she was there. She was on A side too. The first night she was there, she and I talked about how we had got there. We went to our rooms after supper, and I brought a source that I could use to cut myself. I went to the bathroom where I couldn't be watched, placed the source to where it would be sharp, and I slid it across my left wrist as many times as I needed in the same spot. Come to find out, you don't always need a blade.

That night at group, Hadley and I talked and I told her my dates. Hadley ended up telling the nurse about them. Another mistake made. The rest of the night we spent listening to music and talking to one another. We were sent off to our rooms and most went to sleep. "I'm leaving today," Hadley said. "You are?" I asked. "Yeah. Dr. B thinks I'm ready. I really don't think I should leave," she said. "He might change his mind. He asked me what I thought, and I'm sure Emma talked to him the day you talked to her." Nothing more was said about her discharge. She left two hours later. I was with Cayden most of the time.

Ava and I were playing volleyball in gym. To be in a mental hospital, you'd hope that people would watch what they says to others. Ava was being rude to me, and I was letting her know it's not okay. She also was rude to the two other people on my side. "Okay, I think you should stop," I said. "You're being rude and it's only a game. Be polite." Ava looked at me up and down. "I don't have to listen to you." We continued to play and Ava kept snapping. "Y'all can stop talking about me!" She exclaimed. I looked at her with a serious yet confused look. "We didn't even say anything about you." She walked to the net, and she had told me she heard us. "Okay. That's fine. I was letting you know we didn't mention you," I said. Ava walked under the net yelling at me as if she was going to hit me. One of the counselors, Willis, pulled her back and looked at me surprised that I didn't move an inch due to how close she got.

After hygiene, Stella came to my room to talk about what happen. I explained to her the situation and she said she'd keep an eye on her. Stella left my room, and I flopped back onto my bed. I found my bed comfortable, so I liked to be on it when I could.

The next day in gym, we played volleyball again. Ava was on my side which we weren't too fond of. She gave me nasty looks and words; I just played. I went to hit the ball and I reacted late causing the ball to fly left. In the hospital, you weren't aloud to touch anyone because it could be a trigger for some. "Here let me show you how to do it right," Ava said as she grabbed my wrist. I pulled away and she held it back. "You can let go. We can't touch anyone, and I do not like physical interactions." Ava rolled her eyes still holding onto my wrist.

"I'm trying to help you," she said raising her voice. I pulled my wrist away and stepped to my left. "I appreciate it, but I know what I'm doing. I don't want you touching me." She rolled her eyes at me and began to to lash out on me once again. During the night shift group, I was talking to Ellie and she wanted to talk about Ava. I told her no and Ava heard. "Are you really going to continue talking shit?" She asked. I looked at Ellie and back at Ava. "We weren't talking about you, she asked what happened. I told her nothing." Rolling her eyes once again she took a step forward. "Bullshit. You can stop or I'll throw these hands." A counselor pulled her away and sent her to her bed room.